What Happens when you overcompensate with your good leg:
Sunday, May 04, 2008
This Little Piggy Went Ouch Ouch Ouch all the Way Home
What Happens when you overcompensate with your good leg:
Friday, April 25, 2008
Hang on Tight cause the Merry Go Round Aint Stopping
Part I
Weekend of March 21: Road trip to Columbus/Westerville with Aunt Denise, Abby, myself and Tyson. We checked out the Giant Indoor Waterpark, where I actually went down the water slide not once but like 9 times...each time involving climbing about 6 flights of stairs..oh my aching quads. Tyson found that if he tipped sideways when coming out of the chute that he could tip Grandma out of the tube and send her underwater,much to his enjoyment. We also made a side trip to our old town Westerville where we got to see old friends though we did not get enough visit time to catch up on all the years that have passed. We also went to the COSI where Ty got to ride a unicycle while suspended several floors up. At first I refused to let him do it but he kept pleading so finally I said we have to ask your Mom...he replied, "You don't need to call her she will say it is okay" I told him if he did not think his Mom would care there should be no problem with asking her. I called her and asked if Ty could ride the unicycle on the wire. She said fine. I gave him the thumbs up...and then I thought"Gee did I mention it was like 2 floors up and across the lobby?" So I called her back to advise her of this minor detail. His Mom said if he isn't scared let him do it. So Ty got in line and by golly he did it...despite my thinking he would back out once he actually got on the unicycle. Overall fun trip despite a few bumps that you would expect when traveling with two children.
One of the Bumps as Mentioned Above: Did I mention that not only did Me, Denise, Abby and Ty go but we also traveled with Sally, Diego and Alisa? Sally, Diego and Alisa are Abby's friends...friends that ONLY Abby can see, however that did not stop Tyson from saying he was going to hit Diego in the eye. Abby's face turned bright red and she balled up her fists, screwed her eyes shut and ground out the words..."TYSON I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, DON'T HIT DIEGO" Being the good Aunt that I am I told Tyson to "LEAVE DIEGO ALONE!!" Aunt Denise glares at me and says, "Good job just encourage her with her friends" I laugh and tell Abby, "I really like Sally. She is a good travler. Next time maybe your mom and I will take a trip with just Sally" Abby replies, "Sally will like that" I LOVE MY NIECE!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Kim's Perspectives on Saturdays
Saturday run March 15, 2008: 8.33 miles of urban funness.
Attendees: (In no particular order of running ability) Kim, Jill,
Kris, Jeff and Cory.
First off I must comment, how can a run not be good when it starts
with the following conversation:
"Did you wipe?" (only a teacher would ask this question)
"Yes I wiped. I wiped and I wiggled"
"Did you forget your sports bra?" (again a teacher question)
"No. I got two on"
And then off they go, down the road,over the bridge thru the ghetto,
side by side (for those of you who are not familar this is is in the
same writing style as the book "The Poky Litte Puppy" which is my all
time favorite children's book)
Kris said to Jeff and Kim, as she plodded beside them, her foot hurt
and she would be taking it easy....then Jeff and Kim did not hear from
her again till 3.22 mile where she was waiting at the corner for
everyone to meet up. Don't know what kinda of Coffee Kris is drinking
before the runs but please please please get some to Kim asap. The
improvement she has made is baffling..I am almost sure it is that
coffee that TUM brought back from his trip.
Discovered that we have a dog named "Dave" in this town. Who names a
dog "Dave"?
If you pray hard enough. Your prayers will be answered and traffic
will hold you up at a light long enough to catch your breath.
Bob and Jillian were probably shepards in a previous life as they were
always rounding up the lost lambs.
Jeff loves real estate with a particular interest in the roofs of real
estate.
Kris was trying to torment Kim as she took a route that included
passing by a VP that had coffee brewing, a pizza place (lucky for her
it was closed) and McDonalds. I wonder if McDonalds would care if they
had to swipe a debit card pulled out of a sweaty sports garment? Can
you put coffee in those hydration packs?
Hedgewood Hill...Kim had great trepidation turning onto Hedgewood as
last year when training she never never not once made it up Hedgewood
without stopping and in fact had to mostly walk up Hedgewood. This
year she made it! Why you ask ? Did she get beat and whipped up the
hill with Kris's belt and Bob's big stick? No! Was she lured up the
hill with the promises of baked goods? No! It was because she was
distracted by Bob with talk of fish oil and weight loss. Despite the
hill Kim was able to utter if it would help her to lose weight not
only would she eat fish oil but she would eat the head off of a fish.
Bob told her that would not be necessary but she should try the fish
oil capsules. Other topics of interest while going up the hill:
cookies..in particular girl scout cookies.
Jillian did not do her required task of keeping Bob occupied so that
Kim could walk up Hedgewood Hill instead of plod up it. Kim is glad
that Jillian did not do this, as now she can say "I made it up the
giant hill!" Okay it is not really a GIANT hill but it certainly is an
area that has an increasing elevation level.
It is funny Bob and Jillian are like a well oiled training machine.
We get to a hill, get up just a wee bit and then without a word they
both circle around at the same time to bring the back of the packers
up the hill.
Our 8.33 miles was a just a warm up for Jillian. She went out for more
when we got back. I think she is secretly the bionic woman.
Kim had a theory that if they fell back far enough. The shepards would
not come back for them and they could walk. That proved not to be
true. Evidently shepards are viligent about watching their flock and
shepards will let the lambs wander but only so far.
Jillian agains makes Jeff and Kim yell whoo hoo. She makes Kim repeat
whoo hooo three times before she is satified there was enough gusto in
it. Jeff is compliant and says whooo hooo in a voice loud enough the
first time to please Jillian.
Most uttered word by group:"CAR"
Kim's most frequent thought: "Where are all my friends I use to hang
out with"
Kim's thoughts on the thoughts of others:
Kris: "I gotta hurry and get back to the Y for my next cup of coffee
and I not giving any to Kim"
Jillian: "Yeah were almost back to the Y. I am gonna see if can make
Kim and Jeff black out by making them yell whooo hooo"
Bob: "I came back from Indy for this?"
Jeff: "Kim better not be praying"
***********************************
Saturday, March 22, 2007 9.2 miles for the faint of heart and 10 miles
for those of the hard core persuasion.
Attendees:
Hard Core Parties: Trainer Bob, Trainer Jillian, and Fleet Footed Jeff
Faint of Heart: Kim
Jeff was in fine form and must have ate his Wheaties AND had several
cups of Kris's magic coffee.
The route was to include more hills. Trainer Bob says Hedgewood twice
and 18th Street once. Kim gasps and says, "I have to cook dinner for
15 people on Saturday day AND have an Easter Egg Hunt I got to be able
to move" Trainer Jills says "That's crap you can take a nap when you
get home, Bob tell her that is crap" Kim, long trained in negotiations
from being the mother of teens, offers to do the hills the week after
she returns from her trip. Trainer Bob says "We will compromise and
do Hedgewood once and 18th Street once...this week" It was likely the
trainers day to switch Good Cop/Bad Cop profiles.
As mentioned above the agreement was to do Hedgewood once and 18th
street once. Kim was gleeful. Because you all know if you come uphill
it is very likely you will go downhill first. However, our town,
unique that it was laid out by drunkards, manages to make the downhill
of Hedgewood become a downhill, uphill, downhill, uphill and downhill.
Yes, that is correct uphills on our downhill portion. Of course
coming back up could it be uphill,downhill,uphill...absolutely
not...just uphill.
Traffic Lights: Somehow Bob and Jillian got in contact with the
Traffic department of our great city and arranged to have EVERY SINGLE
stoplight become green when we approached it.
Beating Stick: Trainer Bob finds his big stick (do Bob and Jillian
check out the route ahead of time and make sure there is a big stick
ready?). He nicely asks Kim,"Ok if you stop where do you wanna be
hit..the head, the back or the calves" Kim responds, "Probably my head
you will do the least damage"
18th Street Hill: Trainer Jillian withholds water from Kim. Trainer
Jillian says,"Give me your water bottle. You can have it back when you
get to the top of the hill. I don't want you to have any excuse to
stop." Kim makes it to the top of the hill does not need her water
and in fact does not want to be burdened with carrying the bottle of
water any more. Wonders if she does not mention it will Jillian lug it
all the way back to the Y? A ploy used by many children is to ask Mom
"to hold something for just a minute" and then they never come back to
get it because they don't want to carry it around...this is most often
seen at amusement parks and fairs. However, it will work quite nicely
for plodders and those that are trainers of plodders.
Hansel and Gretal: Was it Hansel and Gretal that left the trail of
breadcrumbs so they could find their way home? In this story a trail
of Jelly Beans was left. Kim was running and all of a sudden heard
"dink dink dink" Crap her Jelly Beans were rolling out of her pocket
and dropping on the sidewalk. If it had been been M&Ms she probably
would have stopped and picked them up off the ground but hey you can
get a bag of Jelly Beans for .25 on clearance now. Do you think that
Trainers Bob and Jillian would frown upon eating M&Ms during a run?
They have previously stated that no doughnuts are allowed during runs
but M&Ms have not been addressed yet.
Music Picks of the Week: Cher (If I could turn back time), Kid Rock
and Cheryl Crow (Picture) which Kim listened to like 25 times because
it is slow and she can plod and breath while listening to this song.
John Parr (Naughty Naughty) Def Lepard (Pour some sugar). Kim was
enjoying her music picks of the week untill her MP3 player died on
18th street. Jillian offers to sing for Kim but Kim knows what music
Jillian listens to and passes on that nice offer.
9th Street: Trainer Jillian says "Hey lets catch up with Trainer Bob
and Jeff by Logan" Kim grunts. By this time poor Kim could do nothing
more then grunt and moan. She moans and trainer Jillian must take that
for a yes because by the time they approach Logan they have caught up
with the guys but Kim is tired oh so tired and soon falls behind
again.
Oak Court: Kim is out of jelly beans. She has her water bottle back
again with its nasty 1/2 gatorade 1/2 water mixture. She takes a
drink. Has no desire or energy to lug her water bottle around. Sees a
huge open trash can. Throws it...completely misses it...does not
care...will not pick it up off the ground....their yard had trash in
it anyway...Kim is rude and litters when she is tired....
The end of the route appears. Jeff and Bob and Jillian want to finish
with an even 10. Kim does not care and would not have run an even 10
if there were 12 dozen boxes of girl scout cookies as a reward at the
end.
Jeff's Trash Talk: Jeff's feet were moving as fast as his mouth on
Saturday. He was running AND trash talking to the trainers. Boy is he
in trouble next Saturday when Kim is gone and unable to divert one
trainers attention. Rumor has it that next week he will be hit in the
head till he shuts up.....Its gonna be all about Jeff next week...poor
Jeff.
Attendees: (In no particular order of running ability) Kim, Jill,
Kris, Jeff and Cory.
First off I must comment, how can a run not be good when it starts
with the following conversation:
"Did you wipe?" (only a teacher would ask this question)
"Yes I wiped. I wiped and I wiggled"
"Did you forget your sports bra?" (again a teacher question)
"No. I got two on"
And then off they go, down the road,over the bridge thru the ghetto,
side by side (for those of you who are not familar this is is in the
same writing style as the book "The Poky Litte Puppy" which is my all
time favorite children's book)
Kris said to Jeff and Kim, as she plodded beside them, her foot hurt
and she would be taking it easy....then Jeff and Kim did not hear from
her again till 3.22 mile where she was waiting at the corner for
everyone to meet up. Don't know what kinda of Coffee Kris is drinking
before the runs but please please please get some to Kim asap. The
improvement she has made is baffling..I am almost sure it is that
coffee that TUM brought back from his trip.
Discovered that we have a dog named "Dave" in this town. Who names a
dog "Dave"?
If you pray hard enough. Your prayers will be answered and traffic
will hold you up at a light long enough to catch your breath.
Bob and Jillian were probably shepards in a previous life as they were
always rounding up the lost lambs.
Jeff loves real estate with a particular interest in the roofs of real
estate.
Kris was trying to torment Kim as she took a route that included
passing by a VP that had coffee brewing, a pizza place (lucky for her
it was closed) and McDonalds. I wonder if McDonalds would care if they
had to swipe a debit card pulled out of a sweaty sports garment? Can
you put coffee in those hydration packs?
Hedgewood Hill...Kim had great trepidation turning onto Hedgewood as
last year when training she never never not once made it up Hedgewood
without stopping and in fact had to mostly walk up Hedgewood. This
year she made it! Why you ask ? Did she get beat and whipped up the
hill with Kris's belt and Bob's big stick? No! Was she lured up the
hill with the promises of baked goods? No! It was because she was
distracted by Bob with talk of fish oil and weight loss. Despite the
hill Kim was able to utter if it would help her to lose weight not
only would she eat fish oil but she would eat the head off of a fish.
Bob told her that would not be necessary but she should try the fish
oil capsules. Other topics of interest while going up the hill:
cookies..in particular girl scout cookies.
Jillian did not do her required task of keeping Bob occupied so that
Kim could walk up Hedgewood Hill instead of plod up it. Kim is glad
that Jillian did not do this, as now she can say "I made it up the
giant hill!" Okay it is not really a GIANT hill but it certainly is an
area that has an increasing elevation level.
It is funny Bob and Jillian are like a well oiled training machine.
We get to a hill, get up just a wee bit and then without a word they
both circle around at the same time to bring the back of the packers
up the hill.
Our 8.33 miles was a just a warm up for Jillian. She went out for more
when we got back. I think she is secretly the bionic woman.
Kim had a theory that if they fell back far enough. The shepards would
not come back for them and they could walk. That proved not to be
true. Evidently shepards are viligent about watching their flock and
shepards will let the lambs wander but only so far.
Jillian agains makes Jeff and Kim yell whoo hoo. She makes Kim repeat
whoo hooo three times before she is satified there was enough gusto in
it. Jeff is compliant and says whooo hooo in a voice loud enough the
first time to please Jillian.
Most uttered word by group:"CAR"
Kim's most frequent thought: "Where are all my friends I use to hang
out with"
Kim's thoughts on the thoughts of others:
Kris: "I gotta hurry and get back to the Y for my next cup of coffee
and I not giving any to Kim"
Jillian: "Yeah were almost back to the Y. I am gonna see if can make
Kim and Jeff black out by making them yell whooo hooo"
Bob: "I came back from Indy for this?"
Jeff: "Kim better not be praying"
***********************************
Saturday, March 22, 2007 9.2 miles for the faint of heart and 10 miles
for those of the hard core persuasion.
Attendees:
Hard Core Parties: Trainer Bob, Trainer Jillian, and Fleet Footed Jeff
Faint of Heart: Kim
Jeff was in fine form and must have ate his Wheaties AND had several
cups of Kris's magic coffee.
The route was to include more hills. Trainer Bob says Hedgewood twice
and 18th Street once. Kim gasps and says, "I have to cook dinner for
15 people on Saturday day AND have an Easter Egg Hunt I got to be able
to move" Trainer Jills says "That's crap you can take a nap when you
get home, Bob tell her that is crap" Kim, long trained in negotiations
from being the mother of teens, offers to do the hills the week after
she returns from her trip. Trainer Bob says "We will compromise and
do Hedgewood once and 18th Street once...this week" It was likely the
trainers day to switch Good Cop/Bad Cop profiles.
As mentioned above the agreement was to do Hedgewood once and 18th
street once. Kim was gleeful. Because you all know if you come uphill
it is very likely you will go downhill first. However, our town,
unique that it was laid out by drunkards, manages to make the downhill
of Hedgewood become a downhill, uphill, downhill, uphill and downhill.
Yes, that is correct uphills on our downhill portion. Of course
coming back up could it be uphill,downhill,uphill...absolutely
not...just uphill.
Traffic Lights: Somehow Bob and Jillian got in contact with the
Traffic department of our great city and arranged to have EVERY SINGLE
stoplight become green when we approached it.
Beating Stick: Trainer Bob finds his big stick (do Bob and Jillian
check out the route ahead of time and make sure there is a big stick
ready?). He nicely asks Kim,"Ok if you stop where do you wanna be
hit..the head, the back or the calves" Kim responds, "Probably my head
you will do the least damage"
18th Street Hill: Trainer Jillian withholds water from Kim. Trainer
Jillian says,"Give me your water bottle. You can have it back when you
get to the top of the hill. I don't want you to have any excuse to
stop." Kim makes it to the top of the hill does not need her water
and in fact does not want to be burdened with carrying the bottle of
water any more. Wonders if she does not mention it will Jillian lug it
all the way back to the Y? A ploy used by many children is to ask Mom
"to hold something for just a minute" and then they never come back to
get it because they don't want to carry it around...this is most often
seen at amusement parks and fairs. However, it will work quite nicely
for plodders and those that are trainers of plodders.
Hansel and Gretal: Was it Hansel and Gretal that left the trail of
breadcrumbs so they could find their way home? In this story a trail
of Jelly Beans was left. Kim was running and all of a sudden heard
"dink dink dink" Crap her Jelly Beans were rolling out of her pocket
and dropping on the sidewalk. If it had been been M&Ms she probably
would have stopped and picked them up off the ground but hey you can
get a bag of Jelly Beans for .25 on clearance now. Do you think that
Trainers Bob and Jillian would frown upon eating M&Ms during a run?
They have previously stated that no doughnuts are allowed during runs
but M&Ms have not been addressed yet.
Music Picks of the Week: Cher (If I could turn back time), Kid Rock
and Cheryl Crow (Picture) which Kim listened to like 25 times because
it is slow and she can plod and breath while listening to this song.
John Parr (Naughty Naughty) Def Lepard (Pour some sugar). Kim was
enjoying her music picks of the week untill her MP3 player died on
18th street. Jillian offers to sing for Kim but Kim knows what music
Jillian listens to and passes on that nice offer.
9th Street: Trainer Jillian says "Hey lets catch up with Trainer Bob
and Jeff by Logan" Kim grunts. By this time poor Kim could do nothing
more then grunt and moan. She moans and trainer Jillian must take that
for a yes because by the time they approach Logan they have caught up
with the guys but Kim is tired oh so tired and soon falls behind
again.
Oak Court: Kim is out of jelly beans. She has her water bottle back
again with its nasty 1/2 gatorade 1/2 water mixture. She takes a
drink. Has no desire or energy to lug her water bottle around. Sees a
huge open trash can. Throws it...completely misses it...does not
care...will not pick it up off the ground....their yard had trash in
it anyway...Kim is rude and litters when she is tired....
The end of the route appears. Jeff and Bob and Jillian want to finish
with an even 10. Kim does not care and would not have run an even 10
if there were 12 dozen boxes of girl scout cookies as a reward at the
end.
Jeff's Trash Talk: Jeff's feet were moving as fast as his mouth on
Saturday. He was running AND trash talking to the trainers. Boy is he
in trouble next Saturday when Kim is gone and unable to divert one
trainers attention. Rumor has it that next week he will be hit in the
head till he shuts up.....Its gonna be all about Jeff next week...poor
Jeff.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
GUESS WHO IS GONNA BE A DADDY AND MOMMY
JAMES AND TASHA! She will be going to the doctor next week so we will have a more specific due date!
This was a most HUGE surprise. James and Tasha came over, along with Kendra. They brought gifts for Jerry's birthday or so we thought. Now in the past people have bought us gifts to use with the grandkids so we thought nothing of it when Jerry opened up a package that had a sign that said "Baby on Board" we just thought it was because we have Adam in the car. Next Jerry opens up a gift and it is a book about grandparents. Again we are clueless. A picture frame comes out that says "Baby". Jerry and I are both looking around trying to decide which picture off the fridge we were gonna put in it. Yes we are still clueless. Then Jerry pulls out a little onsie. He looks confused. He says "This won't fit Adam". Tasha unzips her jacket. Jamie opens his...Tasha is wearing a tee shirt that says "Knocked Up" Jamie has a button that says "I did it". We stare at them and say nuh uh. I tell Jamie to quit messing with me and I continue munching on my dinner. This son has messed with me one to many times so now I believe NOTHING that he tells me. I stare at him. I stare at Tasha. She has tears in her eyes. I know she would not mess with me...We're gonna have another grandchild to love and adore! A little background...earlier that afternoon we had stopped by Jamie's house I went in to the kitchen and see prenatal vitamins on the counter. I call Jamie in and ask him "Is Tasha pregnant?" He grabs the vitamins and mutters "she better not be". He then looks at the label and he goes "Mom these are supplements. She is taking them because the have all the vitamins she needs in just one pill" Now this sounds plausible as I have known people that have done this. So when Tasha comes in I drag her in the kitchen and ask her about it (before she talked to Jamie). Somehow she comes up with the same story that Jamie gave me,"I am taking them because they have everything you need on one vitamin" I looked sad. I told her "too bad. I was kinda hoping. Oh well maybe later'
I am having shopping frenzy attacks. I can't wait to find out whether it is a pink or a blue. My poor visa card.
This was a most HUGE surprise. James and Tasha came over, along with Kendra. They brought gifts for Jerry's birthday or so we thought. Now in the past people have bought us gifts to use with the grandkids so we thought nothing of it when Jerry opened up a package that had a sign that said "Baby on Board" we just thought it was because we have Adam in the car. Next Jerry opens up a gift and it is a book about grandparents. Again we are clueless. A picture frame comes out that says "Baby". Jerry and I are both looking around trying to decide which picture off the fridge we were gonna put in it. Yes we are still clueless. Then Jerry pulls out a little onsie. He looks confused. He says "This won't fit Adam". Tasha unzips her jacket. Jamie opens his...Tasha is wearing a tee shirt that says "Knocked Up" Jamie has a button that says "I did it". We stare at them and say nuh uh. I tell Jamie to quit messing with me and I continue munching on my dinner. This son has messed with me one to many times so now I believe NOTHING that he tells me. I stare at him. I stare at Tasha. She has tears in her eyes. I know she would not mess with me...We're gonna have another grandchild to love and adore! A little background...earlier that afternoon we had stopped by Jamie's house I went in to the kitchen and see prenatal vitamins on the counter. I call Jamie in and ask him "Is Tasha pregnant?" He grabs the vitamins and mutters "she better not be". He then looks at the label and he goes "Mom these are supplements. She is taking them because the have all the vitamins she needs in just one pill" Now this sounds plausible as I have known people that have done this. So when Tasha comes in I drag her in the kitchen and ask her about it (before she talked to Jamie). Somehow she comes up with the same story that Jamie gave me,"I am taking them because they have everything you need on one vitamin" I looked sad. I told her "too bad. I was kinda hoping. Oh well maybe later'
I am having shopping frenzy attacks. I can't wait to find out whether it is a pink or a blue. My poor visa card.
It's all fun and games till Kim Keels Over Dead
Mini Training: Going quite well. Though I had to walk for a few moments during the Saturday 7.5 mile run. The week before was a Saturday 7.2 miles
Highlights of 7.2 mile run:
Jeff and Kim feel like they are going to die.
Kris finds a broken belt on the ground during the run and uses it like a whip to propel Kim forward. Kim was like a mule and disregarded the whip and continued to plod at your usual speed
Jillian ditched her cold snowy icy run to run on the beach...what was she thinking?
Bob was on his deathbed and was unable to run but somehow managed to muster up the strength to threaten to "follow us in his car if we slacked off"
Kris has burst of energy and in the last 1/2 miles says "Hey lets add some more distance on by running to the fire station istead of cutting through the school" Kim threatens to beat Kris to death with her ipod and strangle her with her headphones...the only thing that prevented this was that Kim is not fast enough to catch Kris.
Saturday 7.564 mile Highlights
First off Kudos to Kris for our awesome urban run! Truely I mean it! I am well known for my love of running thru the ghetto part of town so this route was particulary fun as we got to run thru the ghetto part of town AND run by the dump transfer station AND an old strip club that is now a Christian Coffee shop! Love it because then we have other stuff to look at!
Kim not only felt like she was going to die during this run and had at one point thought she was having an out of body experience. She saw lights.Bright Lights. Lights that seemed to beckon her forward. Fortunately for Kim it was not the lights of the great beyond but just the headlights of the sanitation truck rumbling past her.
Jillian tries to make Kim go WHOOO HOOOO in the last 1/2 mile. Kim said whooo hooo. Jillian says NO KIM! WHOOO HOOO!!!!!. Kim finally says WHOOOO HOOOO and then prompty feels faint from lack of oxygen...swears to herself that she is going WHOOOOO HOOOOO Jillian right up side her noggin but again we have the whole "Kim can't catch em" thing going on.
1/2 way thru the run Kris says, "Hey we only have like two more major turns"...like that is gonna really trick me into thinking the last half of the run is gonna be like a walk in the park.
QUOTE OF MONTH: Scenerio: Kim plodding...Jill slowing down to plod with Kim...Jill says "You know how people are always saying its about the journey and not the destination...well they have never run 7.564 miles" That ladies and gentlemen is the most true statement I have every heard!
My activities which no one really cares about but me:
The weekend before last. I had my little guy Adam on Friday night and then my big guy Ty and Carissa overnight Saturday. Friday night Adam goes to the store with Grandma and Grandpa to grocery shop...right now he thinks it is fun...in another year or so we will have to find another activity to do with him cause I think he will figure out the grocery shopping is really not fun. Saturday morning Adam and I went to the book sale at the library. Adam will not be going to any more book sales with Grandma unless we have the stroller. I tried to look at books. Adam tried to escape. I chased him, caught him, returned to the books and then we did the whole thing over and over again. He did sit during one whole story time in the youth room and he really liked it and listened most intently. That is definetly an activity we will be doing again! Saturday night when Ty and Carissa came over we had some pizza and then played some games. Tyson learned that his Grandma is a Connect 4 Champion and is also a champion Splat player. We watched a movie and so ended another fun night at Grandma and Grandpa's house.
Last weekend: Kendra and Lucas were remodeling their bathroom so we got to hang with Adam all weekend. Again for a "fun" friday night we went to Meijer. Adam must have thought it was lots of fun because when we went to leave he threw one major fit. The poor child was sobbing as if his little heart was broken...the trauma of leaving Meijers...who knew it would hurt so bad. I think I have addicted him to shopping because he did the very same thing the next day when we went to KMART complete with rolling around and thrashing on the ground so that Grandma found it near impossible to shove him into his coat. I finally managed to stuff him in his coat (now that I think back it was funny because his coat was on all cockeyed and his hat covered one whole eye and only half his head)Once I got him in the car seat then he simmered down..probably cause he thought I was gonna take him to another store! So now I gotta wean the child off shopping.
My 18 month old Grandson is a genius: Ty and I were trying to get the play station up and running. Ty messed with it. I messed with it. I finally told Ty I will fix it later. In toddles Adam. He sees us by the Play Station he comes over and hits a button on the VCR and waa laaa the Play Station comes on! He has also moved all the icons on my desktop and plays and listens to my answering machine messages. I think he is a technological genius. Finally he said Ma Maw! He says it LOUD. When we were in Walmart he kept yelling "MA MAW" even though I was only like a foot in front of him. He says "Pa Paw" but he says that in a sweet little voice but he ROARS "MA MAW"
Health:
I am back strictly on my diabetic diet. My lunch was very sad. Egg Beater omelet with fresh spinich and mushrooms and fat free cheese (fyi fat free cheese does not melt. It retains its same form no matter how hot you get it), along with the omelet I had 1/2 cup cottage cheese and some radishs. Just looking at my lunch made me want to cry and thrash around on the floor (similar to that of my grandson at KMART). My raisens in my oatmeal have gone bye bye and have been replaced with carb control no sugar added yogurt.A word of advise do not use this food combination it looked disgusting and tasted like vomit. I ate it anyway because that was the only breakfast food I had with me. Snack in the morning was a 100 calorie bag of fat free popcorn and afternoon snack was cauliflower. This better be enough to make me loose weight because my other option is to have surgery and have them remove all optional organs from my body.
My girlscouts cookies are gone. What was not consumed by me was donated (unwillingly) for our pastor's visit to our house. Now as long as I can avoid the evil girlscouts who are laying await for me at the stores I should be okay. As I have told you before girlscout are wily when it comes to peddling their fatness in a box. They hide in stores and then they POP out of NO WHERE and say "You wanna buy some cookies?" Of course they have the sweet little voices and the big eyes and the cute little sashes with badges. Before you know it you have pulled out $$$$ and have boxes of thin mints filling your arms. I swear to you I don't even remember pulling the money out of my purse...the next thing I know I am walking away with boxes of cookies. It's like mind control. Anyway I have a plan. I will cruise slowly by the front doors of the stores waving dollars out my car window. I know this will lure them out of hiding! Once they reveal themselves I will know the store is not safe for patronage and will get the heck out of dodge.
FYI: You cannot do a long training run by eating nothing but girlscout cookies the day before.
Highlights of 7.2 mile run:
Jeff and Kim feel like they are going to die.
Kris finds a broken belt on the ground during the run and uses it like a whip to propel Kim forward. Kim was like a mule and disregarded the whip and continued to plod at your usual speed
Jillian ditched her cold snowy icy run to run on the beach...what was she thinking?
Bob was on his deathbed and was unable to run but somehow managed to muster up the strength to threaten to "follow us in his car if we slacked off"
Kris has burst of energy and in the last 1/2 miles says "Hey lets add some more distance on by running to the fire station istead of cutting through the school" Kim threatens to beat Kris to death with her ipod and strangle her with her headphones...the only thing that prevented this was that Kim is not fast enough to catch Kris.
Saturday 7.564 mile Highlights
First off Kudos to Kris for our awesome urban run! Truely I mean it! I am well known for my love of running thru the ghetto part of town so this route was particulary fun as we got to run thru the ghetto part of town AND run by the dump transfer station AND an old strip club that is now a Christian Coffee shop! Love it because then we have other stuff to look at!
Kim not only felt like she was going to die during this run and had at one point thought she was having an out of body experience. She saw lights.Bright Lights. Lights that seemed to beckon her forward. Fortunately for Kim it was not the lights of the great beyond but just the headlights of the sanitation truck rumbling past her.
Jillian tries to make Kim go WHOOO HOOOO in the last 1/2 mile. Kim said whooo hooo. Jillian says NO KIM! WHOOO HOOO!!!!!. Kim finally says WHOOOO HOOOO and then prompty feels faint from lack of oxygen...swears to herself that she is going WHOOOOO HOOOOO Jillian right up side her noggin but again we have the whole "Kim can't catch em" thing going on.
1/2 way thru the run Kris says, "Hey we only have like two more major turns"...like that is gonna really trick me into thinking the last half of the run is gonna be like a walk in the park.
QUOTE OF MONTH: Scenerio: Kim plodding...Jill slowing down to plod with Kim...Jill says "You know how people are always saying its about the journey and not the destination...well they have never run 7.564 miles" That ladies and gentlemen is the most true statement I have every heard!
My activities which no one really cares about but me:
The weekend before last. I had my little guy Adam on Friday night and then my big guy Ty and Carissa overnight Saturday. Friday night Adam goes to the store with Grandma and Grandpa to grocery shop...right now he thinks it is fun...in another year or so we will have to find another activity to do with him cause I think he will figure out the grocery shopping is really not fun. Saturday morning Adam and I went to the book sale at the library. Adam will not be going to any more book sales with Grandma unless we have the stroller. I tried to look at books. Adam tried to escape. I chased him, caught him, returned to the books and then we did the whole thing over and over again. He did sit during one whole story time in the youth room and he really liked it and listened most intently. That is definetly an activity we will be doing again! Saturday night when Ty and Carissa came over we had some pizza and then played some games. Tyson learned that his Grandma is a Connect 4 Champion and is also a champion Splat player. We watched a movie and so ended another fun night at Grandma and Grandpa's house.
Last weekend: Kendra and Lucas were remodeling their bathroom so we got to hang with Adam all weekend. Again for a "fun" friday night we went to Meijer. Adam must have thought it was lots of fun because when we went to leave he threw one major fit. The poor child was sobbing as if his little heart was broken...the trauma of leaving Meijers...who knew it would hurt so bad. I think I have addicted him to shopping because he did the very same thing the next day when we went to KMART complete with rolling around and thrashing on the ground so that Grandma found it near impossible to shove him into his coat. I finally managed to stuff him in his coat (now that I think back it was funny because his coat was on all cockeyed and his hat covered one whole eye and only half his head)Once I got him in the car seat then he simmered down..probably cause he thought I was gonna take him to another store! So now I gotta wean the child off shopping.
My 18 month old Grandson is a genius: Ty and I were trying to get the play station up and running. Ty messed with it. I messed with it. I finally told Ty I will fix it later. In toddles Adam. He sees us by the Play Station he comes over and hits a button on the VCR and waa laaa the Play Station comes on! He has also moved all the icons on my desktop and plays and listens to my answering machine messages. I think he is a technological genius. Finally he said Ma Maw! He says it LOUD. When we were in Walmart he kept yelling "MA MAW" even though I was only like a foot in front of him. He says "Pa Paw" but he says that in a sweet little voice but he ROARS "MA MAW"
Health:
I am back strictly on my diabetic diet. My lunch was very sad. Egg Beater omelet with fresh spinich and mushrooms and fat free cheese (fyi fat free cheese does not melt. It retains its same form no matter how hot you get it), along with the omelet I had 1/2 cup cottage cheese and some radishs. Just looking at my lunch made me want to cry and thrash around on the floor (similar to that of my grandson at KMART). My raisens in my oatmeal have gone bye bye and have been replaced with carb control no sugar added yogurt.A word of advise do not use this food combination it looked disgusting and tasted like vomit. I ate it anyway because that was the only breakfast food I had with me. Snack in the morning was a 100 calorie bag of fat free popcorn and afternoon snack was cauliflower. This better be enough to make me loose weight because my other option is to have surgery and have them remove all optional organs from my body.
My girlscouts cookies are gone. What was not consumed by me was donated (unwillingly) for our pastor's visit to our house. Now as long as I can avoid the evil girlscouts who are laying await for me at the stores I should be okay. As I have told you before girlscout are wily when it comes to peddling their fatness in a box. They hide in stores and then they POP out of NO WHERE and say "You wanna buy some cookies?" Of course they have the sweet little voices and the big eyes and the cute little sashes with badges. Before you know it you have pulled out $$$$ and have boxes of thin mints filling your arms. I swear to you I don't even remember pulling the money out of my purse...the next thing I know I am walking away with boxes of cookies. It's like mind control. Anyway I have a plan. I will cruise slowly by the front doors of the stores waving dollars out my car window. I know this will lure them out of hiding! Once they reveal themselves I will know the store is not safe for patronage and will get the heck out of dodge.
FYI: You cannot do a long training run by eating nothing but girlscout cookies the day before.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Starvation, Death Runs and other Miseries
The Training is in full swing. Last Saturday was a nice 6.60 miles. It was so fun it did not even seem like 6.60 miles and I was quite surprised when I mapped it!
Highlights of the run:
Jill "You gonna let Kris beat you in"
Kim "Yep"
Cory chases Kim up the hill with a big stick.
Jill "You gonna give it all you got?"
Kris "I gave it all I got when I got outta bed"
Jill's sweat leaks thru her glove and crystalizes
Cory loves the giant hill....Jill loves the giant hill...Kris...silent
on the matter of the giant hill....Kim loudly complains about the
giant hill.
Kris runs the entire time despite her last run being in December (early)
Kim made it thru the entire route despite severals hills, one that I have dubbed, hill of pain and agony (hill of pain and agony is a stones throw away from puke mountain).
After Saturday run I took Sunday as a veg day and only moved off the couch long enough to attend church in afternoon and evening.
This week Training:
Monday: Power Hour in the a.m.
Tuesday: 3 miles of Kim Sprints (which means slow running for all my turbo friends)one minute on one minute off for 3 miles. Leg day in the afternoon for strength training.
Wed: 3 miles in the fluffy, cold, killing calves and quads snow. I found that it would be wise to wear higher socks as within 1 minute my socks had snow leaking down them. I thought for sure I was gonna die from the effort of trying to drag my big body thru the snow. Afternoon upper body strength training on lunch break.
Upcoming Training:
Thursday: 5 miles on the agenda with climate run group, Strength training lower body.
Friday: Power Hour...half heartedly...as I like to sorta rest in anticipation of the my long Saturday run...I know Jill.....
Saturday: 7 miles
Sunday: REST
Starvation:
I am hungry....the scales are down 6 pounds...I am hungry. I am desperate. I ate a cough drop for a dessert and a midnight snack the other day. They were honey lemon and cherry...neither tasted like pie. I have girl scout cookies and have not touched them. I wanted one really really bad...I had a cough drop... I will probably find out that cough drops are 100% fat and have a gazillion calories.
Other Miseries:
I am cold when I start running and within 10 minutes I am sweating up a storm. I can't wear any less clothes because it would look strange to see a middle aged chubby woman running thru a snow storm in nothing but Tshirt and shorts.
I am getting bored with my routes. I am going to have find a different starting spot for our runs. I think if I see 9th street or 18th street one more time I am going throw myself down on the road and sob.
The scales are going down but I still do not look like Shakira...will it ever happen?
Now on to family news:
Youngest grandson can now say "Pa Paw". Note he does not say "Grandma" despite that I am the one that feeds him, changes him, and takes a nap with him.
Eldest Grandson: Is in a cast of sorts...broke cartiledge (that will eventually be bone). Did this by doing forbidden flipping in the living room.
Only Granddaughter: Has become even MORE beautiful if that is possible! I think potty training is on the horizon.
Little Peanut a/k/a Julianna a/k/a Great Niece: Cute as a button, still is in the only sleeping, eating and pooping stage of her life but hey so is the slug...hahahahahahahah just kidding slug..we know you sleep, eat, poop and play scrabble on the computer.
Little Peanut's mother a/k/a Amanda: She is a nursing Mom...evidently not nursing long enough..baby wants to eat all the time...Mother of Little Peanut's Mother says "You have to let her nurse longer each time...you are not a snack bar."
Amber: Went to the "All fired up Pottery" shop with Aunt Kim. Aunt Kim paints like a monkey. Amber is creative!
Abby: Insist Valentine's days has indeed not passed as Aunt Kim did not do a valentine craft with her. Don't worry Abby I got a craft for us to do! I will find time to pick you up soon.
Eldest Son: Is suppose to go to lunch with his mother.....She thinks she has been ditched. Surely he has not forgotten his awesome amazing terrific loving mother?
Middle Son: Has lost LOTS of weight and is looking really really good...I think the mini may be in the 2009 future.
Only Daughter: Is currently going stir crazy from being in the house. Perhaps she should take up training for the 2009 mini with middle son so that mother, son and daughter can have a major bonding experience.
Husband: Wife is grumpy and mean on account of starvation and mini training. He endures silently. Fun date day the other day....Wife beat husband at bowling. Not once but twice. Husband says it is because he wasn't concentrating on score but rather his form and his speed. Wife says HOG WASH! Wife challenges him to a rematch.
I will be working on my photos..look for updates within the next two weeks for photos.
Upcoming Events:
Jerry's Birthday
Tyson's Birthday
Highlights of the run:
Jill "You gonna let Kris beat you in"
Kim "Yep"
Cory chases Kim up the hill with a big stick.
Jill "You gonna give it all you got?"
Kris "I gave it all I got when I got outta bed"
Jill's sweat leaks thru her glove and crystalizes
Cory loves the giant hill....Jill loves the giant hill...Kris...silent
on the matter of the giant hill....Kim loudly complains about the
giant hill.
Kris runs the entire time despite her last run being in December (early)
Kim made it thru the entire route despite severals hills, one that I have dubbed, hill of pain and agony (hill of pain and agony is a stones throw away from puke mountain).
After Saturday run I took Sunday as a veg day and only moved off the couch long enough to attend church in afternoon and evening.
This week Training:
Monday: Power Hour in the a.m.
Tuesday: 3 miles of Kim Sprints (which means slow running for all my turbo friends)one minute on one minute off for 3 miles. Leg day in the afternoon for strength training.
Wed: 3 miles in the fluffy, cold, killing calves and quads snow. I found that it would be wise to wear higher socks as within 1 minute my socks had snow leaking down them. I thought for sure I was gonna die from the effort of trying to drag my big body thru the snow. Afternoon upper body strength training on lunch break.
Upcoming Training:
Thursday: 5 miles on the agenda with climate run group, Strength training lower body.
Friday: Power Hour...half heartedly...as I like to sorta rest in anticipation of the my long Saturday run...I know Jill.....
Saturday: 7 miles
Sunday: REST
Starvation:
I am hungry....the scales are down 6 pounds...I am hungry. I am desperate. I ate a cough drop for a dessert and a midnight snack the other day. They were honey lemon and cherry...neither tasted like pie. I have girl scout cookies and have not touched them. I wanted one really really bad...I had a cough drop... I will probably find out that cough drops are 100% fat and have a gazillion calories.
Other Miseries:
I am cold when I start running and within 10 minutes I am sweating up a storm. I can't wear any less clothes because it would look strange to see a middle aged chubby woman running thru a snow storm in nothing but Tshirt and shorts.
I am getting bored with my routes. I am going to have find a different starting spot for our runs. I think if I see 9th street or 18th street one more time I am going throw myself down on the road and sob.
The scales are going down but I still do not look like Shakira...will it ever happen?
Now on to family news:
Youngest grandson can now say "Pa Paw". Note he does not say "Grandma" despite that I am the one that feeds him, changes him, and takes a nap with him.
Eldest Grandson: Is in a cast of sorts...broke cartiledge (that will eventually be bone). Did this by doing forbidden flipping in the living room.
Only Granddaughter: Has become even MORE beautiful if that is possible! I think potty training is on the horizon.
Little Peanut a/k/a Julianna a/k/a Great Niece: Cute as a button, still is in the only sleeping, eating and pooping stage of her life but hey so is the slug...hahahahahahahah just kidding slug..we know you sleep, eat, poop and play scrabble on the computer.
Little Peanut's mother a/k/a Amanda: She is a nursing Mom...evidently not nursing long enough..baby wants to eat all the time...Mother of Little Peanut's Mother says "You have to let her nurse longer each time...you are not a snack bar."
Amber: Went to the "All fired up Pottery" shop with Aunt Kim. Aunt Kim paints like a monkey. Amber is creative!
Abby: Insist Valentine's days has indeed not passed as Aunt Kim did not do a valentine craft with her. Don't worry Abby I got a craft for us to do! I will find time to pick you up soon.
Eldest Son: Is suppose to go to lunch with his mother.....She thinks she has been ditched. Surely he has not forgotten his awesome amazing terrific loving mother?
Middle Son: Has lost LOTS of weight and is looking really really good...I think the mini may be in the 2009 future.
Only Daughter: Is currently going stir crazy from being in the house. Perhaps she should take up training for the 2009 mini with middle son so that mother, son and daughter can have a major bonding experience.
Husband: Wife is grumpy and mean on account of starvation and mini training. He endures silently. Fun date day the other day....Wife beat husband at bowling. Not once but twice. Husband says it is because he wasn't concentrating on score but rather his form and his speed. Wife says HOG WASH! Wife challenges him to a rematch.
I will be working on my photos..look for updates within the next two weeks for photos.
Upcoming Events:
Jerry's Birthday
Tyson's Birthday
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
You Know It's Gonna Be a Fun Run When....
1) You are acoompanied by Tom Slick and Tail Light
2) It is rainy, windy, dark and cold
3) You have to jump over giant ponds of water
and finally.......
4)YOU KNOW ITS A FUN RUN WHEN YOU HAVE TO PULL TAIL LIGHT OUT OF THE
FENCE SHE GOT STUCK ON!
The Tale of Tail Light
Teacup and Tom Slick were quite happily plodding along...indifferent
to the pools of water they were plodding through. Splash splash squish
squish...Teacup does not care because she is moving and plodding
steadily and nothing will break her tempo. Tom Slick does not care
because...well.... macho men just don't care if their running shoes
get muddy and wet. However, Tail Light DOES care because she does not
like to get her pretty running shoes dirty and she does not like wet
feet...Tail Light lands solidly in the pond of water and as graceful
as a doe leaps into the air toward a fence, where her plan was to, and
this probably was not carefully thought out, cling to the fence to
avoid the water. ( I don't know what her plan was for after the fence
clinging...perhaps she thought Teacup or Tom Slick would piggy back
her through the pond?) Somehow during this leaping and clinging to the
fence event she became attached to the fence. She says "Help help I
am stuck" Tom Slick says, "To bad see you back at the Y". Teacup
doubles over in laughter. Tom Slick has an attack of pity (which I
might add is rare as a Blue Moon) and tries to unattach Tail Light
from the fence. Teacup stands in the pond of water and sort of kicks
at the fence in a half hearted attempt to free her friend (I think
Teacup might have had a teeney weeny bit of pleasure from watching her
friend be stuck to a fence in the rain). Hurrah at last Tail Light has
been freed! She states that her running shoes are now tight because
the fence caused her shoelaces to form a death knot in her shoe. Tail
Light despite the death knot in her shoes makes it back to the Y. I do
note that she did not go in to lift or do any other additional
exercise...she just got in her car and fled...oops I mean drove home.
So ends the tale of tail light.
UPDATES: I am signed up for the Mini...thanks to a friend that needed to get out of it...I am now transferred in. I did this under peer presssure (oh and threats)....Peer Pressure...its not just for Teens....and the training commences.
Personal Training: My personal trainer has kicked by booty...and it is very very sore...3 sets of 15 for leg extension and hamstring curls, Leg Press 190 pounds for first set of 15, 230 pounds for second set of 15, 280 for third set of 15..intermingled with 3 sets of stiff legged Dead Lift,intermingled with lots of lunges to the calf raise machine and three sets of calf raises. I was sweating like a pig when I was done. My booty is sore sore sore but not so sore that I could not do my 3.45 and 3.25 miles in the last two days. Upper body not so bad as I am pretty strong. But the Ab work, well I felt like my head was going to explode from the effort. I am throwing myself whole heartedly into traingin for the MINI!
2) It is rainy, windy, dark and cold
3) You have to jump over giant ponds of water
and finally.......
4)YOU KNOW ITS A FUN RUN WHEN YOU HAVE TO PULL TAIL LIGHT OUT OF THE
FENCE SHE GOT STUCK ON!
The Tale of Tail Light
Teacup and Tom Slick were quite happily plodding along...indifferent
to the pools of water they were plodding through. Splash splash squish
squish...Teacup does not care because she is moving and plodding
steadily and nothing will break her tempo. Tom Slick does not care
because...well.... macho men just don't care if their running shoes
get muddy and wet. However, Tail Light DOES care because she does not
like to get her pretty running shoes dirty and she does not like wet
feet...Tail Light lands solidly in the pond of water and as graceful
as a doe leaps into the air toward a fence, where her plan was to, and
this probably was not carefully thought out, cling to the fence to
avoid the water. ( I don't know what her plan was for after the fence
clinging...perhaps she thought Teacup or Tom Slick would piggy back
her through the pond?) Somehow during this leaping and clinging to the
fence event she became attached to the fence. She says "Help help I
am stuck" Tom Slick says, "To bad see you back at the Y". Teacup
doubles over in laughter. Tom Slick has an attack of pity (which I
might add is rare as a Blue Moon) and tries to unattach Tail Light
from the fence. Teacup stands in the pond of water and sort of kicks
at the fence in a half hearted attempt to free her friend (I think
Teacup might have had a teeney weeny bit of pleasure from watching her
friend be stuck to a fence in the rain). Hurrah at last Tail Light has
been freed! She states that her running shoes are now tight because
the fence caused her shoelaces to form a death knot in her shoe. Tail
Light despite the death knot in her shoes makes it back to the Y. I do
note that she did not go in to lift or do any other additional
exercise...she just got in her car and fled...oops I mean drove home.
So ends the tale of tail light.
UPDATES: I am signed up for the Mini...thanks to a friend that needed to get out of it...I am now transferred in. I did this under peer presssure (oh and threats)....Peer Pressure...its not just for Teens....and the training commences.
Personal Training: My personal trainer has kicked by booty...and it is very very sore...3 sets of 15 for leg extension and hamstring curls, Leg Press 190 pounds for first set of 15, 230 pounds for second set of 15, 280 for third set of 15..intermingled with 3 sets of stiff legged Dead Lift,intermingled with lots of lunges to the calf raise machine and three sets of calf raises. I was sweating like a pig when I was done. My booty is sore sore sore but not so sore that I could not do my 3.45 and 3.25 miles in the last two days. Upper body not so bad as I am pretty strong. But the Ab work, well I felt like my head was going to explode from the effort. I am throwing myself whole heartedly into traingin for the MINI!
Monday, January 28, 2008
An Afternoon Mishap or How Kim Lost Her Pants
I am a proud YMCA member and will remain one and will still faithfully attend my morning workouts because I love my Y friends tremendously and the thought of never seeing them...well that just ain't gonna happen. However, when the gentlemen came from City Fit Health Club to do a presentation I fell hard.....my gosh a gym right across the street from my office...oh the fun it will be going on my lunch break to do a little lifting or walk on the treadmill (yeah yeah I know I complain about the treadmill all the time) or even if I so desire, which I do not, tanning. The thought of lifting on my lunch break was quite enticing and with added lure of getting a corporate rate..well...this girl she signed on the dotted line. So off I go today on my lunch break, giddy at the thought of getting a lift in. I already had my gym shorts on under my dress slacks ( some pants I can't do that with because they are full of Kim, but these are baggy so I can do this). Had my athletic socks on underneath my trousers socks (this all in an effort to save the "dressing time")Before I went over there I slipped into my hog jog shirt (because you know every chubby woman should have tee shirt with a giant hog on the front) and scurried over to the gym. The desk offered me a towel and a key for the locker of which I took the towel and declined the key with an arrogant wave of my hand. I run into the locker room, ripped off my dress slacks (so quick it would have made wonderwoman jealous) and ta da I am ready for the gym. Now because I did not want to mess with unlocking and opening a locker I thought I will just toss my dress slacks on top of the lockers. I gave a cocky little toss and up up up go my slacks to hit the side of the wall and slither down the gaping hole that drops dead down to the ground from the top of the 6 foot + locker... a gaping hole, a black abyss of which there is no entry...a gaping hole in which my pants can never be retreived. I said a few words (which I then had to promptly ask forgiveness for) and then called my husband to ask him to please bring me a pair of pants so I can go back to the office. My co-workers thought this story to be hilarious and when I left work to go to my fitness evaluation tonight(of which more details follow below) I was reminded to A) don't lose track of my pants, B) Perhaps I should keep my pants on so I don't lose them or C)Maybe I should take an extra pair of pants just in case I lose another pair. sigh this could only happen to me....
Fitness Evaluation: 26% body fat which I was informed was not too bad considering my history. I am getting a new lifting program which is to reduce my body fat by 4% and my weight by 15 pounds in the next 12 weeks. It is ironic because a thin woman I know that goes to City Fit has 30% body fat. Of course he said my worse area was my stomach...gee I never would have guessed that. Along with the lifting program I was advised that I could not eat like a pig on Saturday. However, I could have Sunday as a "little cheat day" does little mean I can eat a pie or a piece of pie...or just smell the pie...hmmm I guess I will find out at my next meeting which is next Monday evening.
Questions I Ponder.....
1) Why some days can I run 3 miles and feel awesome and then some days I feel like I am being tortured to death and my heart is in emminent peril of exploding?
2) Why do other people get to eat whatever the heck they want ALL the time and I can't even eat one cookie (okay 12 cookies) without it showing up on my gut in 20 minutes or less?
3)Why do they try to trick me into thinking the Key Lime Pie yogurt will really taste like Key Lime Pie...one of these days the yogurt people or going to push some chubby middle aged woman over the edge with their deceptive advertising.
4) Why will Fanny May not stop emailing me bogos when she knows I am fat?
5)Is it normal to have Marco's Pizza on speed dial and to have Dominoes Pizza and Pizza King's telephone number memorized?
6)Am I a mean Grandma to hide the gold fish crackers from my grandson so I don't have to share them?
7)Will my new trainer be able to make me look like Shakira? If he doesn't I swear to you he is fired....
8)Should I dump my current friends and go to the nursing home to find new ones so I can be "The Fast One"?
9) Am I the only one in Power Hour that feels like Julie is trying to kill us?
10) Why am I so easily influenced by peer pressure? Yes mom I probably would jump off the bridge if Jill did.
Okay the ramblings of Kim has now drawn to a close. It is now time for me to go to bed and dream sweet dreams of my future 1/2 marathon(of which is at this time is undetermined but I am looking for one in October)as I visulize myself cheerfully plodding the last two miles without an ounce of pain or agony, a huge smile on my face as I run...no lope gracefully thru the last two mile...okay I told you it was a dream....
Fitness Evaluation: 26% body fat which I was informed was not too bad considering my history. I am getting a new lifting program which is to reduce my body fat by 4% and my weight by 15 pounds in the next 12 weeks. It is ironic because a thin woman I know that goes to City Fit has 30% body fat. Of course he said my worse area was my stomach...gee I never would have guessed that. Along with the lifting program I was advised that I could not eat like a pig on Saturday. However, I could have Sunday as a "little cheat day" does little mean I can eat a pie or a piece of pie...or just smell the pie...hmmm I guess I will find out at my next meeting which is next Monday evening.
Questions I Ponder.....
1) Why some days can I run 3 miles and feel awesome and then some days I feel like I am being tortured to death and my heart is in emminent peril of exploding?
2) Why do other people get to eat whatever the heck they want ALL the time and I can't even eat one cookie (okay 12 cookies) without it showing up on my gut in 20 minutes or less?
3)Why do they try to trick me into thinking the Key Lime Pie yogurt will really taste like Key Lime Pie...one of these days the yogurt people or going to push some chubby middle aged woman over the edge with their deceptive advertising.
4) Why will Fanny May not stop emailing me bogos when she knows I am fat?
5)Is it normal to have Marco's Pizza on speed dial and to have Dominoes Pizza and Pizza King's telephone number memorized?
6)Am I a mean Grandma to hide the gold fish crackers from my grandson so I don't have to share them?
7)Will my new trainer be able to make me look like Shakira? If he doesn't I swear to you he is fired....
8)Should I dump my current friends and go to the nursing home to find new ones so I can be "The Fast One"?
9) Am I the only one in Power Hour that feels like Julie is trying to kill us?
10) Why am I so easily influenced by peer pressure? Yes mom I probably would jump off the bridge if Jill did.
Okay the ramblings of Kim has now drawn to a close. It is now time for me to go to bed and dream sweet dreams of my future 1/2 marathon(of which is at this time is undetermined but I am looking for one in October)as I visulize myself cheerfully plodding the last two miles without an ounce of pain or agony, a huge smile on my face as I run...no lope gracefully thru the last two mile...okay I told you it was a dream....
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Do I get a pin?
I am three days and cookie free...will I get a pin like they do in AA when they are sober 30 days?
This Sums it all Up
I snagged this off Runner Susan's blog and it totally sums up mine and my son's life long love affair with bacon...this is the same boy that ate so much bacon at the Shoney's Breakfast Buffet that he went home and promptly threw up.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Running???what is that???
Okay confession from a slacker. I have only run 5 miles the whole week. I am gonna pay for that come tomorrow morning when I meet up with the climate run team and I have to do 5 IN ONE RUN. Starting tomorrow it is back on the wagon...I mean road....in my new aasics...which I adore.....The cookies have settled in around my waist, the chocolate has found my thighs and everything else has just settled in random spots on my body. I think Santa would find me sexy right now. Let me introduce myself: My name is Kim and I am a Cookieaholic. It started with just one snickerdoodle (which from what my mother tells me was her favorite cookie to bake when I was young) just one snickerdoodle at such a young age and the addiction began. What is one cookie when you are so young...one homebaked cookie made with love.....I will tell you that fatness is started on a road paved with good intentions and motherly love....now I can't stop....I will be out of commission for awhile while I am going thru cookie detox (yet again)...I cannot be approached with anything resembling a cookie or I could go into complete cookie shock...or I may go mad and attack the holder of the cookie, I will be unable to clean house as I may come across a stray christmas cookie left behind by some silly silly person that is indifferent to cookies, I will not be able to go to the Mall unless they barricade the cookie shop, I will not be attending church services as they may serve communion and the wafers appear cookie like, there will be no stop at the coffee shop as they try to entice me with their trays of cookies next to the coffee dispensers, I will have to have grocery delivery as I don't think I can make it down the baking aisle at the grocery without throwing in the 50% off bags of chocolate chips (which will then be turned into cookies)...mine will be a sad lonely existence as I battle my demon....I guess I better start running.....Don't take it personally if I snarl at you....its not really me...its my addiction...by March I should be okay......
On Holiday Weight Gain/Cookie Consumption
Alice In Wonderland: "Oh, I'm not particular as to size, only one doesn't like changing so often, you know."
And that my friends sums up Holiday weight gain.
And that my friends sums up Holiday weight gain.
I HAVE MY VERY OWN STALKER
Yes, I know it is hard to believe. Chubby wife, mother of three, grandmother of three, the plodding Athena warrior goddess has her very own stalker. I have been stalked since October. Three whole months of constant stalking. Is it getting to me...yes...am I near the breaking point...yes....do I know my stalker....yes.....it is
Fanny May. She sends me flyers, she sends me emails on a daily basis and NOW she has stepped up her assault. She has Emailed me BOGOs! Ack Fanny May Buy One Get One Free. She is the devil underneath a coating of smooth chocolatey goodness. I am at the point where I am contemplating changing my email address and moving out of town but I guess there is no point...she will find me....she always finds me......
Fanny May. She sends me flyers, she sends me emails on a daily basis and NOW she has stepped up her assault. She has Emailed me BOGOs! Ack Fanny May Buy One Get One Free. She is the devil underneath a coating of smooth chocolatey goodness. I am at the point where I am contemplating changing my email address and moving out of town but I guess there is no point...she will find me....she always finds me......
Saturday, December 22, 2007
My new Theme Song!
I found a song that is even better then "Fat Bottomed Girls" I love this song! It is my new I love myself anthem! You might have to cut and paste it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcRiXOONqf0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcRiXOONqf0
On a Snowy Snowy Day
Exactly 26 years ago I was giving birth to my second son. It was snowy. It was cold. The only vehicle we had was the company van my husband was driving that had one seat for the driver and the passenger a/k/a in labor woman a/k/a me had to sit on a kitchen chair. The roads were slick and the van fishtailed all over the road, I am still to this day not sure if the fishtailing was accidental or just caused by an overenthusiastic snow driver a/k/a husband of woman in labor. All I know was I was in labor and clutching the sides of the kitchen chair and wondering if we would make it to the hospital (which was really only about 5 minutes away but seemed like 5 hours). My poor husband it took all his begging and pleading and telephone calls to my mother to get me to go to the hospital. I was adamant I was NOT going to the hospital. I hated the hospitals. I hated the doctors. I knew this was gonna hurt and for some reason in my demented mind I thought if I did not go to the hospital I could bypass the whole "hurts really bad labor". I told my husband I was not leaving. I was not going to the hospital ever! He was frantic. He pleaded with me to please get in the van and go the hospital. I clung to the bathroom door declaring quite loudly, "I am NOT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL" He tried to reason with me. I was unreasonable. Finally, under the pressure of my husband and the threats of my mother I was coerced into the van. I made it to the hospital. I was right it did hurt. However, the pain was well worth it because Jamie came into the world. Now of course you all know him as James but he was Jamie to me from the day he was born and will be Jamie to me until the day I die. He was dark. He was hairy. He had a cleft in his chin just like his Grandpa Chuck. Without a doubt Groleau blood was in him. Jamie was colicky. Aunt Denise was about the only one who could calm him down. He spent the first year of his life in a baby swing in hopes of lulling him into a sweet happy mood. To this day I have a big bulging bicep from the constant winding up of the baby swing. In those days we did not have auto swings. It was crank, crank, crank, baby happy, swing stop, baby unhappy, crank, crank, crank, baby happy and so on and so on.
1) Had the biggest brownest eyes you have ever seen in your life! He would look at me with tear filled eyes and I would feel like the biggest meaniest baddest mommy in the world for scolding him.
2) I would come downstairs in the middle of the night and he would be perched on the kitchen countertop with a spoon in the peanut butter having himself a little midnight snack. He has had a lifelong love affair with peanut butter.
3)Colored monsters on my bedroom wall with red lipstick (which by the way does not get repaired by merely painting over it). He comes running out of my room, lipstick on his hand saying "I'm in big touble now" (yes he did not put an R in trouble). Grandpa Groleau was there that day and that became his favorite story to tell. And yes Jamie was in "Big Touble" but see number one for why he did not get spanked.
4) Had his own sense of style at a young age he became a dandy dresser. A trait he still has to this day. Jamie, as an adult, often says "Man I look good" His style was to wear three to four shirts each one progressively shorter over a pair of slightly baggy jeans. (not real baggy, just little boy skinny baggy). His top shirt of choice for several years were his football jerseys.
5)Liked to dig in the dirt and bury GI Joes and Matchbox Cars. Several years ago I unearthed a matchbox car. It brought tears to my eyes.
6)Always had dirty knees. I swear the dirt was permanently embedded. I should probably check out his knees today. I bet they are still dirty.
7) One day he came running into the house. He so very excited. He had a present for Mom. One of the neighbors was throwing out a Food Shredder (an electric one). He saw it and brought it home to me. I still have it to this day and cannot bear the thought of getting rid of it (and it still works and I use it at least once a year).
8) Jamie was a laughing happy kid. I got called to the school because he was being the class clown. He was not laughing when I got to school. He as unhappy. He told the principal "She's gonna kill me" The principal was talking to me while Jamie was sitting outside the principal office's by the secretary. He was laughing when he was telling me Jamie was begging him not to call me because "she would kill me" He said, "Are you gonna kill him" I laughed and said "Nah but he's gonna get a pretty good spanking". See number one as to why he did not get spanked. Jamie was advised not to be the class clown anymore. He never really quit but he did not ever cross the getting his parents called to school line.
9) Was always winning stuff. Won a bike, won autographed footballs...just would win stuff...
Opened up the paper one day and there was my son's picture in the Journal and Courier. A picture of him and his little friend sitting on the monkey bars looking out with telescopes.
10) Now this story he had a partner in crime, his older brother, I got up one morning to find one totally white Jamie...all white...just big brown eyes peering out of a powdered covered face. Every white powdery substance in my canisters had been emptied out onto my kitchen floor. He was probably 2 1/2 at the time of the incident. Flour, baking soda, salt EVERYWHERE. In the cracks of the floor and flourery footsteps through out the house. Little white powdery boy got dumped unceremoniously into the bath tub. Mean old Mommy did not care that powdery little boy was not at all happy about being dropped into a bathtub. Mean old Mommy disregarded the shrieks of unhappiness as he had cup after cup of water poured over his head. (Which actually made the flour even more difficult to get out as it "gummed up")
Oh bonus story: He cut the head off my chicken.
As with all my children I have so many stories I could write for hours and hours. Jamie was a good boy and he is a good man. His father says I must stop referring to him as Jamie. I do call him James but in my mind he is Jamie. He has a heart that is full of compassion though he tries his very best to cover it up! He still has the big brown eyes and the cute mischievous smile. You can always count on him if you need him! We love you Jamie and are very proud of you...oops I mean we love you James and are very proud of you.
Love Mean Old Mommy
1) Had the biggest brownest eyes you have ever seen in your life! He would look at me with tear filled eyes and I would feel like the biggest meaniest baddest mommy in the world for scolding him.
2) I would come downstairs in the middle of the night and he would be perched on the kitchen countertop with a spoon in the peanut butter having himself a little midnight snack. He has had a lifelong love affair with peanut butter.
3)Colored monsters on my bedroom wall with red lipstick (which by the way does not get repaired by merely painting over it). He comes running out of my room, lipstick on his hand saying "I'm in big touble now" (yes he did not put an R in trouble). Grandpa Groleau was there that day and that became his favorite story to tell. And yes Jamie was in "Big Touble" but see number one for why he did not get spanked.
4) Had his own sense of style at a young age he became a dandy dresser. A trait he still has to this day. Jamie, as an adult, often says "Man I look good" His style was to wear three to four shirts each one progressively shorter over a pair of slightly baggy jeans. (not real baggy, just little boy skinny baggy). His top shirt of choice for several years were his football jerseys.
5)Liked to dig in the dirt and bury GI Joes and Matchbox Cars. Several years ago I unearthed a matchbox car. It brought tears to my eyes.
6)Always had dirty knees. I swear the dirt was permanently embedded. I should probably check out his knees today. I bet they are still dirty.
7) One day he came running into the house. He so very excited. He had a present for Mom. One of the neighbors was throwing out a Food Shredder (an electric one). He saw it and brought it home to me. I still have it to this day and cannot bear the thought of getting rid of it (and it still works and I use it at least once a year).
8) Jamie was a laughing happy kid. I got called to the school because he was being the class clown. He was not laughing when I got to school. He as unhappy. He told the principal "She's gonna kill me" The principal was talking to me while Jamie was sitting outside the principal office's by the secretary. He was laughing when he was telling me Jamie was begging him not to call me because "she would kill me" He said, "Are you gonna kill him" I laughed and said "Nah but he's gonna get a pretty good spanking". See number one as to why he did not get spanked. Jamie was advised not to be the class clown anymore. He never really quit but he did not ever cross the getting his parents called to school line.
9) Was always winning stuff. Won a bike, won autographed footballs...just would win stuff...
Opened up the paper one day and there was my son's picture in the Journal and Courier. A picture of him and his little friend sitting on the monkey bars looking out with telescopes.
10) Now this story he had a partner in crime, his older brother, I got up one morning to find one totally white Jamie...all white...just big brown eyes peering out of a powdered covered face. Every white powdery substance in my canisters had been emptied out onto my kitchen floor. He was probably 2 1/2 at the time of the incident. Flour, baking soda, salt EVERYWHERE. In the cracks of the floor and flourery footsteps through out the house. Little white powdery boy got dumped unceremoniously into the bath tub. Mean old Mommy did not care that powdery little boy was not at all happy about being dropped into a bathtub. Mean old Mommy disregarded the shrieks of unhappiness as he had cup after cup of water poured over his head. (Which actually made the flour even more difficult to get out as it "gummed up")
Oh bonus story: He cut the head off my chicken.
As with all my children I have so many stories I could write for hours and hours. Jamie was a good boy and he is a good man. His father says I must stop referring to him as Jamie. I do call him James but in my mind he is Jamie. He has a heart that is full of compassion though he tries his very best to cover it up! He still has the big brown eyes and the cute mischievous smile. You can always count on him if you need him! We love you Jamie and are very proud of you...oops I mean we love you James and are very proud of you.
Love Mean Old Mommy
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Sleighs Bells Jingling, Jing Jing Jingling
Today is the YMCA Sleighbell 5k. I have my packet with my shirt and my little jingle bells to put on my shoes. I HATE the jingle bells. I like them on other peoples feet but I deplore them on mine because I then have to listen to the sounds of my labored breathing AND the sounds of my jingle bells as they jingle in a very un rhythmic like jingle. We also have a timing chip! Very cool because in the past we have never had such a thing. So I have had my oatmeal and tablespoon of peanut butter because I cannot go from the day before till after 10:00 a.m to eat. I wish we could start our run at 7:30 a.m. By 9:00am I am well into my morning. I have decided since races freak me out and I panic that I am not gonna worry about time I am just going to have fun with my friends.
I had a really good food week until Friday night...all week...I was such a good girl...thought I was gonna starve to death...but I hung in there. I am going to try to maintain some self control this weekend.
December 5: Is my eldest son's birthday. We will be having him over for dinner tonight because his birthday falls on Wed and it is just too difficult to do a birthday dinner in the middle of the week.
Thoughts on Brad: When we had you we were very young( I had just turned 18 and your father was 19) and we had no idea on how to raise a child. Your father and I likely made every mistake in the book and probably invented new mistakes while raising you but despite the errors made by your parents you thrived and became the awesome person you are today. We are proud that your are a hardworking man and an amazing father. Everytime we see you with your children we marvel at the tenderness and love that pours out of you.
Facts about Brad:
1) Baby Language for Drink of Water "AH DO WAH" and want to go outside (phrased used while banging on the screen door) "AH DO WEEE"
2) Called Bull Dozers "Pickem Up Muddies"
3)Your father liked to play pool in the basement so anytime you would hear pool balls clank you would say "Daddy Daddy"
4) Threw a golf ball at the neighbor's door while walking to school (nothing broke). The neighbor called the police and the police came to our house. I told them you were at school (yes I ratted you out to teach you a lesson) they went to school and told you not to throw golf balls at people's doors. You never threw a golf ball at another person's house after that.
5)When you were a toddler you got into Grandma's Crisco and covered her cabinet door with Crisco (and yes it was hard to get off).
6) One Christmas you and Jamie got up early (before your parents) on Christmas and opened every Christmas present under the tree..EVERY SINGLE ONE
7) Put a dent in the aluminum siding on our house and it is still there today
8)Every teacher you ever had loved you and said you were the most quiet polite child they had ever seen...I still don't know if they had you mixed up with another child because you were never quiet at home.
9) You would often surprise me by having the kitchen cleaned up for me. I still remember one Thanksgiving the house was a disaster when I went to bed and when I woke up a sparkling clean kitchen was there.
10)Got into a gallon of red paint when you were about one or so. I was doing laundry in the basement...you were in the corner...I thought playing with your toys...in fact you had opened a can of paint and painted yourself. I had a little trouble getting the red paint out of your blond hair. You were slightly pink for a couple days after that.
I have lots more but I think you would be horrified if I put them in writing...my very favorite I won't write but a hint...scooby doo underwear...
Brad we love you and are very proud of you!
Okay off to to do the Jingle Bell Trot........
Upcoming Events: Amanda's Baby Shower (Sunday), Brad's Bday, December 8 Craft night at Grandma and Grandpa's House, My Dad's Bday, Snoozys Bday, Aunt Hee Hees Bday, Jamie's BDay, (wow thats alot of Bday Cake), Julianna's expected arrival date (yet another December BDay cake...I am surprised we don't gain 20 pounds during December just from Birthday Cake consumption), Christmas Eve (my house at 5:00), Christmas Day (lunch served around 12-1),
I had a really good food week until Friday night...all week...I was such a good girl...thought I was gonna starve to death...but I hung in there. I am going to try to maintain some self control this weekend.
December 5: Is my eldest son's birthday. We will be having him over for dinner tonight because his birthday falls on Wed and it is just too difficult to do a birthday dinner in the middle of the week.
Thoughts on Brad: When we had you we were very young( I had just turned 18 and your father was 19) and we had no idea on how to raise a child. Your father and I likely made every mistake in the book and probably invented new mistakes while raising you but despite the errors made by your parents you thrived and became the awesome person you are today. We are proud that your are a hardworking man and an amazing father. Everytime we see you with your children we marvel at the tenderness and love that pours out of you.
Facts about Brad:
1) Baby Language for Drink of Water "AH DO WAH" and want to go outside (phrased used while banging on the screen door) "AH DO WEEE"
2) Called Bull Dozers "Pickem Up Muddies"
3)Your father liked to play pool in the basement so anytime you would hear pool balls clank you would say "Daddy Daddy"
4) Threw a golf ball at the neighbor's door while walking to school (nothing broke). The neighbor called the police and the police came to our house. I told them you were at school (yes I ratted you out to teach you a lesson) they went to school and told you not to throw golf balls at people's doors. You never threw a golf ball at another person's house after that.
5)When you were a toddler you got into Grandma's Crisco and covered her cabinet door with Crisco (and yes it was hard to get off).
6) One Christmas you and Jamie got up early (before your parents) on Christmas and opened every Christmas present under the tree..EVERY SINGLE ONE
7) Put a dent in the aluminum siding on our house and it is still there today
8)Every teacher you ever had loved you and said you were the most quiet polite child they had ever seen...I still don't know if they had you mixed up with another child because you were never quiet at home.
9) You would often surprise me by having the kitchen cleaned up for me. I still remember one Thanksgiving the house was a disaster when I went to bed and when I woke up a sparkling clean kitchen was there.
10)Got into a gallon of red paint when you were about one or so. I was doing laundry in the basement...you were in the corner...I thought playing with your toys...in fact you had opened a can of paint and painted yourself. I had a little trouble getting the red paint out of your blond hair. You were slightly pink for a couple days after that.
I have lots more but I think you would be horrified if I put them in writing...my very favorite I won't write but a hint...scooby doo underwear...
Brad we love you and are very proud of you!
Okay off to to do the Jingle Bell Trot........
Upcoming Events: Amanda's Baby Shower (Sunday), Brad's Bday, December 8 Craft night at Grandma and Grandpa's House, My Dad's Bday, Snoozys Bday, Aunt Hee Hees Bday, Jamie's BDay, (wow thats alot of Bday Cake), Julianna's expected arrival date (yet another December BDay cake...I am surprised we don't gain 20 pounds during December just from Birthday Cake consumption), Christmas Eve (my house at 5:00), Christmas Day (lunch served around 12-1),
Sunday, November 25, 2007
I RUN FOR PIE
Thanksgiving morning started out with the Gluttony Gobbler Gallop. 3.5 miles with some of the best friends a girl could ask for. 3.5 miles earned me one piece of pie. Unfortunately, my pie consumption far exceeded what I earned. My pants and shirts all feel slightly snug..okay really snug...due to my thanksgiving excess. I must now run, measure food and count food to make up for my gluttony. This week I am sure I am going to suffer terribly from food withdrawal. We had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Before the game playing commenced we plotted out our "Black Friday" strategy. (Black Friday is the happiest shopping day of the year...more details to follow below) After plotting our Black Friday strategy we played my new game "Are you smarter then a Fifth Grader" I am almost as smart as a fifth grader but due to our (me and Tasha) inability to answer "How fast is the speed of sound" We did not graduate fifth grader. My son and mother are not even as smart as a first grader cause they could not answer "What did Winken, Blinken and Nod sail off in" I think Jamie should be removed from his position of power at his place of employment and be put in a menial job that requires no education whatsoever. We ended our night by playing scattorgories which is a blast.
Black Friday: Mine and Kendra's strategy was to acquire four specific items of which the names cannot be disclosed on account of Christmas Secret Code of Honor. I was sent to Meijer to obtain a LCD TV (of which the identity may be disclosed because it was a present from me and Jerry to ourselves). She was going to get in line at Target. The plan was for me to make my purchase then hot foot it over to Target and hook up with Kendra. I reached Meijer at 4:10 a.m to be directed to stand in a line (inside the store) and wait till they distributed the items. As I waited in line no one would talk to me...why would people not talk to me??? Because.... and here is the story....I jumped in my care at 4:00 a.m. On my way to Meijer I started smelling this horrible smell...I thought it must be the air because we have a stinky stinky factory in town... and sometimes the stench wafts it way to our area of town, I thought uck this whole stupid town smells....so I get to Meijers thinking good I am indoors that horrendous smell will go away...walked thru Meijers...still smelled it....thought OH NO I THINK IT IS COMING FROM ME! I looked down and sure enough my shoe is covered in dog poo...it is embedded in the bottom of my shoe and squished all over the side...somebody had let their stupid dog poo right in front of my car door...ick yuck I smelled bad...too late though I was not going to miss my line to get my $150 TV (save $180) so I stood in line...much to my discomfort as well as those around me. I got out of Meijers and was going to head to Target but I could not stand my own smell...thought that's okay I have another pair of shoes in the car I will just switch..discovered the shoes I had were my heeled boots..which are less then comfortable...they are more for slenderize my legs effect then comfortable walking...so I wear them and proceed to shop in the slenderizing but killing feet boots....Now Target....hah I should have worn my dog poop shoes because then maybe I would not have been pushed and shoved and told to "Get out of my way" by some very hefty angry woman...boy she would have gotten it good if I had not been in my work clothes...did not want to get blood on my office clothes...so I had to settle for giving her a dirty look and my I am gonna kick you butt eye squint... she says "Soooooorrry" in a very NOT sorry voice....and can you really be sorry when you deliberately put both your hands on someone's back and PUSH and then say "GET OUT OF MY WAY"? Anyway kudos to Kendra who like magic disappeared and reappeared holding the cannot be named items...she grabbed my arm and said lets go get the other stuff and next thing I knew we were by the other items that cannot be named and threw a few in my cart....after that off in hot pursuit for Giggle and Go Garage (we can mention this because neither Adam or Carissa can read)but alas the Giggle and Go Garages were swooped off the shelves by frantic Christmas Mothers. Target had every check out line open so we got in and out in time for us to stop at the EVIL McDonalds for a quick bite to eat and me to get to work by 7:55 a.m. I told my boss that I have requested off next Black Friday and it was crucial that I be off because no Black Friday shopping for three years could result in convulsions and then a coma like state which would ultimately mean I would get no work done so I might as well be off. She's a good sport and said okay! I was so so so sad to be at my desk on Black Friday and felt light headed...I told her if she saw me turn pale and start to shake to just stick a credit card in my hand and tell me "It's okay...Kimmie...your'e at the Mall".
Quote of the Day: "Yeah your real tuff...you said "The weak shall fall and the strong shall survive"and then you whine, "Somebody pushed me" Spoken by my daughter when I told her that I was pushed in Target.
Black Friday: Mine and Kendra's strategy was to acquire four specific items of which the names cannot be disclosed on account of Christmas Secret Code of Honor. I was sent to Meijer to obtain a LCD TV (of which the identity may be disclosed because it was a present from me and Jerry to ourselves). She was going to get in line at Target. The plan was for me to make my purchase then hot foot it over to Target and hook up with Kendra. I reached Meijer at 4:10 a.m to be directed to stand in a line (inside the store) and wait till they distributed the items. As I waited in line no one would talk to me...why would people not talk to me??? Because.... and here is the story....I jumped in my care at 4:00 a.m. On my way to Meijer I started smelling this horrible smell...I thought it must be the air because we have a stinky stinky factory in town... and sometimes the stench wafts it way to our area of town, I thought uck this whole stupid town smells....so I get to Meijers thinking good I am indoors that horrendous smell will go away...walked thru Meijers...still smelled it....thought OH NO I THINK IT IS COMING FROM ME! I looked down and sure enough my shoe is covered in dog poo...it is embedded in the bottom of my shoe and squished all over the side...somebody had let their stupid dog poo right in front of my car door...ick yuck I smelled bad...too late though I was not going to miss my line to get my $150 TV (save $180) so I stood in line...much to my discomfort as well as those around me. I got out of Meijers and was going to head to Target but I could not stand my own smell...thought that's okay I have another pair of shoes in the car I will just switch..discovered the shoes I had were my heeled boots..which are less then comfortable...they are more for slenderize my legs effect then comfortable walking...so I wear them and proceed to shop in the slenderizing but killing feet boots....Now Target....hah I should have worn my dog poop shoes because then maybe I would not have been pushed and shoved and told to "Get out of my way" by some very hefty angry woman...boy she would have gotten it good if I had not been in my work clothes...did not want to get blood on my office clothes...so I had to settle for giving her a dirty look and my I am gonna kick you butt eye squint... she says "Soooooorrry" in a very NOT sorry voice....and can you really be sorry when you deliberately put both your hands on someone's back and PUSH and then say "GET OUT OF MY WAY"? Anyway kudos to Kendra who like magic disappeared and reappeared holding the cannot be named items...she grabbed my arm and said lets go get the other stuff and next thing I knew we were by the other items that cannot be named and threw a few in my cart....after that off in hot pursuit for Giggle and Go Garage (we can mention this because neither Adam or Carissa can read)but alas the Giggle and Go Garages were swooped off the shelves by frantic Christmas Mothers. Target had every check out line open so we got in and out in time for us to stop at the EVIL McDonalds for a quick bite to eat and me to get to work by 7:55 a.m. I told my boss that I have requested off next Black Friday and it was crucial that I be off because no Black Friday shopping for three years could result in convulsions and then a coma like state which would ultimately mean I would get no work done so I might as well be off. She's a good sport and said okay! I was so so so sad to be at my desk on Black Friday and felt light headed...I told her if she saw me turn pale and start to shake to just stick a credit card in my hand and tell me "It's okay...Kimmie...your'e at the Mall".
Quote of the Day: "Yeah your real tuff...you said "The weak shall fall and the strong shall survive"and then you whine, "Somebody pushed me" Spoken by my daughter when I told her that I was pushed in Target.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
What were you doing November 24 1984?
I was on the labor table delivering who is quite possibly the most awesome, beautiful, smartest daughter ever in the whole wide world...
Random Facts about the Most Possibly Awesome Beautiful Smartest Daughter Ever:
1) She was breastfed till she was almost one year old
2) She called her brothers the Bobos and has uttered more then once "I hate the Bobos"
3)Learned to ride an adult 10 speed while she was in kindergarton...she was so small she had to lay it down on a hill to get on it.
4) Refused to eat red jello for months because her brother told her red jello was made from blood..everytime I served it she would just look at it and cry.
5) Made her barbies physically mature by drawing on them with ink pens. ( I threw them away after that)
6)Told the checkout lady at Marsh Grocery Store that I was her foster mother and I was mean ( I AM her biological mother). The lady looked at me like I was the Devil.
7)She had a mad infatuation with Jonathon Taylor Thomas and the Back Street Boys
8) Wrote a hate letter to her father that said "I hate you. You are a Big Meenie" and then signed it "Love your Little Princess" The note was slid under our bedroom door
9) Was nicknamed "The Woman" by her GMA Carnahan
10)Wrote the following in her diary: "Ricky and Timmy asked my why I was wearing a training bra when I did not need one...I told my mom...she said to ignore them...what kind of mother is she"
10)She sat by my side and rubbed my head saying "I love you Mommy don't cry" when I had my wisdom teeth pulled and was laying on the couch in pain.
11) She learned to count by helping me make formula bottles for my babies when I had my daycare
12) A box of her childhood memories is upstairs in my spare room and she WON'T come and get it.
13)Begged and begged to play the clarinet in the 6th grade. I finally caved in and bought the clarinet and let her join band. She played for one year and wanted to quit. I told her she was not quitting until I got my $1000.00 worth of toots out of that thing. She played until the end of 8th grade. She still refuses to pay the clarinet and has "lost" it.
14) She was a daisy, a brown and a girlscout
15) She has her drivers license number memorized...who does that?
16) Made me a Grandma...thus filling my life with joy...oh yeah it was filled with joy just by being her Mom... she just overflowed my joy level by giving me Adam.
To my daughter with all my love.
Love
Momma
Random Facts about the Most Possibly Awesome Beautiful Smartest Daughter Ever:
1) She was breastfed till she was almost one year old
2) She called her brothers the Bobos and has uttered more then once "I hate the Bobos"
3)Learned to ride an adult 10 speed while she was in kindergarton...she was so small she had to lay it down on a hill to get on it.
4) Refused to eat red jello for months because her brother told her red jello was made from blood..everytime I served it she would just look at it and cry.
5) Made her barbies physically mature by drawing on them with ink pens. ( I threw them away after that)
6)Told the checkout lady at Marsh Grocery Store that I was her foster mother and I was mean ( I AM her biological mother). The lady looked at me like I was the Devil.
7)She had a mad infatuation with Jonathon Taylor Thomas and the Back Street Boys
8) Wrote a hate letter to her father that said "I hate you. You are a Big Meenie" and then signed it "Love your Little Princess" The note was slid under our bedroom door
9) Was nicknamed "The Woman" by her GMA Carnahan
10)Wrote the following in her diary: "Ricky and Timmy asked my why I was wearing a training bra when I did not need one...I told my mom...she said to ignore them...what kind of mother is she"
10)She sat by my side and rubbed my head saying "I love you Mommy don't cry" when I had my wisdom teeth pulled and was laying on the couch in pain.
11) She learned to count by helping me make formula bottles for my babies when I had my daycare
12) A box of her childhood memories is upstairs in my spare room and she WON'T come and get it.
13)Begged and begged to play the clarinet in the 6th grade. I finally caved in and bought the clarinet and let her join band. She played for one year and wanted to quit. I told her she was not quitting until I got my $1000.00 worth of toots out of that thing. She played until the end of 8th grade. She still refuses to pay the clarinet and has "lost" it.
14) She was a daisy, a brown and a girlscout
15) She has her drivers license number memorized...who does that?
16) Made me a Grandma...thus filling my life with joy...oh yeah it was filled with joy just by being her Mom... she just overflowed my joy level by giving me Adam.
To my daughter with all my love.
Love
Momma
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Toe Cubes
Today will likely be my last morning bike ride. I jumped on my bike...actually even wore a jacket, a hat and gloves...as a concession to my flu recovery ....had on my nice Aasics which are just lovely in the summer with their nice vents...had on my nice thin running socks....2 1/2 miles later my toes became toe cubes. My feet were so cold they hurt. Finally stopped, took off my shoes and placed my gloves over my toes and put my shoes back on...felt quite strange but it somewhat warmed them up. I got home and parts of my toes were white and part red. I panicked thinking I had frostbite. My honey told me if it was frostbite they would be black and what did I expect when I was out bike riding in 27 degree weather. So I guess no more below 30 bike rides for me unless I am properly attired.
My flu recovery has played havoc with my miles. I suffered thru 3 miles on Monday...walk, run, walk, run, complain about running, walk some more etc....mostly complaining about running. Tuesday was a little better. Got on the treadmill, walked for .25 mile, ran as fast as could for a few minutes, jogged then walked for about 1.25 miles..felt like gouging my eyeballs out and beating my head on the console with boredom...got off went outside (I was staying inside b/c of flu recovery) said did not care if I got sick again was going outside and finished up 2.35 outside..steady no walking...though I broke no speed records for sure.
Today I biked...see toe cube story above but prior to my bike ride..I cleaned out my fridge thus avoiding future botulism cases and gave my stinky mangy dog a bath and cleaned out his disgustingly seepy ears...how is that for a way to start a day...my life is full of glamour.
Tomorrow is climate run..don't know if I can keep up as I am still kinda tired....5 miles on the agenda...
46 MORE SHOPPING DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
My credit card is hot to the touch!
My flu recovery has played havoc with my miles. I suffered thru 3 miles on Monday...walk, run, walk, run, complain about running, walk some more etc....mostly complaining about running. Tuesday was a little better. Got on the treadmill, walked for .25 mile, ran as fast as could for a few minutes, jogged then walked for about 1.25 miles..felt like gouging my eyeballs out and beating my head on the console with boredom...got off went outside (I was staying inside b/c of flu recovery) said did not care if I got sick again was going outside and finished up 2.35 outside..steady no walking...though I broke no speed records for sure.
Today I biked...see toe cube story above but prior to my bike ride..I cleaned out my fridge thus avoiding future botulism cases and gave my stinky mangy dog a bath and cleaned out his disgustingly seepy ears...how is that for a way to start a day...my life is full of glamour.
Tomorrow is climate run..don't know if I can keep up as I am still kinda tired....5 miles on the agenda...
46 MORE SHOPPING DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
My credit card is hot to the touch!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
I FEEL PRETTY OH SO PRETTY
One random run in with a sick person on Tuesday and Boom by Thursday morning I am sick. As I walked in to work Thursday morning people stared at me, they stepped away from me...they said "EWWWW are you sick?" Yes yes yes I was sick. I looked like an extra from the Day of the Dead. My skin was pasty and white, my eyes glazed over, my walk reduced to an Igor like shuffle and I was snorting and sniffling like a potbellied pig. I stayed for two hours till my boss arrived and said, "GO HOME and GO TO BED!" Which I gladly did. I got into my finest "I am sick attire" which consist of my oversized running pants and a long sleeved tee shirt which declares me a 5k Jingle Bell participant. I set up "sick central" with the necessary box of kleenx and jar of vicks vapor rub. I then draped myself quite attractively across the couch and begin to litter the coffee table with a mountain of used klennex. How could any man resist the lovliness of this vision? Not to mention the the scent of vicks vapor rub coming off of my feverish body must have been incredible inticing. Of course when I am sick the thought of vegtables and fruit makes me feel sick...what did my body crave? Halloween Candy. The mountain of used klennex was only rivaled by the GIGANTIC mountain of candy wrappers next to it. No chicken soup for this girl no siree healing comes in the form of snickers, m&ms, red licorce, bit o honeys and then for dessert cheap vanilla creame cookies (yes the generic brand..something I am normally far to snobby to eat). The candy medicine must really work b/c with a little effort and alot of aleve cold and sinus I was able to make it to work yesterday...but barely...I still felt like crap and came home and went to bed after I took one dose of fun sized snicker bar and fun sized M&M. Today I feel good enough to try to run which is what I am suppose to be doing now. I swear though when I finish this post I am out the door. So to sum up my sick experience I will list the things necessary for healing:
Large Comfy Clothes
Soft Blanket
Couch
TV with soap operas playing hour after hour
Vicks Vapor Rub
Kleenex
Halloween Candy (Christmas or Easter may be substituted)
Cookies (any type)
Remote Control for the TV WITHIN AN ARMS REACH
Niquel and not the daytime stuff either...its gotta be the hard stuff. The stuff that you have to take like a shot and then you gasp for breath....
Bonus Item: Husband that is willing to run out and get you stuff as needed...I was lucky I had the Bonus Item!
Updates:
Fall Festival at Work: My company/division had a fall festival party. It was great fun. My grandson Ty won third place in the costume contest and then won the "Wrap your Grandma Like a Mummy" game. He was giddy with his third place prize b/c it was a pumpkin full of candy!!!! I thought he would keel over with joy when he looked in that pumpkin. Baby Adam got beat out in the costume contest by a 4 year old Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz...He should have won he made one fantastic Baby Frankensein. We did a Hay ride which both Ty and Adam enjoyed. Ty also found that it is not fun sitting in the back seat of the car with Adam because he uses his pacifer on rope like a sling. Ty got really good at ducking. He said it worse then sitting in the back seat with his little sister.
Halloween: Baby Frankenstein appeared at my house as did Eyeore. I was not aware that Frankenstein liked potatos, sausage and greenbeans but he did. Eyeore was evidently saving herself for candy b/c she did not want to eat.
Fort K: The final stages of Fort K have commenced. Jerry has the posts up for the rest of our privacy fence and he will put the panels on today. We will then be a fully safe yard for toddlers and children to run amuck.
KUDOS: Daughter in Law has become a working mom. She started a new full time job this week! Good Luck Nat!
Anniversaries: Tasha and James 1 year! Kendra and Lucas 2 years!
Upcoming Events: Thanksgiving! 1:00 Thanksgiving day...I will be in contact with you to ask what dish you will be bringing. Black Friday..I am going out but I have to be at work by 8:10 at the latest...so I am up for shopping at 4:00 a.m., Jingle Bell 5k, Christmas Ornament Craft Night and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...have you got your shopping started? I have!
Large Comfy Clothes
Soft Blanket
Couch
TV with soap operas playing hour after hour
Vicks Vapor Rub
Kleenex
Halloween Candy (Christmas or Easter may be substituted)
Cookies (any type)
Remote Control for the TV WITHIN AN ARMS REACH
Niquel and not the daytime stuff either...its gotta be the hard stuff. The stuff that you have to take like a shot and then you gasp for breath....
Bonus Item: Husband that is willing to run out and get you stuff as needed...I was lucky I had the Bonus Item!
Updates:
Fall Festival at Work: My company/division had a fall festival party. It was great fun. My grandson Ty won third place in the costume contest and then won the "Wrap your Grandma Like a Mummy" game. He was giddy with his third place prize b/c it was a pumpkin full of candy!!!! I thought he would keel over with joy when he looked in that pumpkin. Baby Adam got beat out in the costume contest by a 4 year old Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz...He should have won he made one fantastic Baby Frankensein. We did a Hay ride which both Ty and Adam enjoyed. Ty also found that it is not fun sitting in the back seat of the car with Adam because he uses his pacifer on rope like a sling. Ty got really good at ducking. He said it worse then sitting in the back seat with his little sister.
Halloween: Baby Frankenstein appeared at my house as did Eyeore. I was not aware that Frankenstein liked potatos, sausage and greenbeans but he did. Eyeore was evidently saving herself for candy b/c she did not want to eat.
Fort K: The final stages of Fort K have commenced. Jerry has the posts up for the rest of our privacy fence and he will put the panels on today. We will then be a fully safe yard for toddlers and children to run amuck.
KUDOS: Daughter in Law has become a working mom. She started a new full time job this week! Good Luck Nat!
Anniversaries: Tasha and James 1 year! Kendra and Lucas 2 years!
Upcoming Events: Thanksgiving! 1:00 Thanksgiving day...I will be in contact with you to ask what dish you will be bringing. Black Friday..I am going out but I have to be at work by 8:10 at the latest...so I am up for shopping at 4:00 a.m., Jingle Bell 5k, Christmas Ornament Craft Night and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...have you got your shopping started? I have!
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