Sunday, December 30, 2007
Running???what is that???
Okay confession from a slacker. I have only run 5 miles the whole week. I am gonna pay for that come tomorrow morning when I meet up with the climate run team and I have to do 5 IN ONE RUN. Starting tomorrow it is back on the wagon...I mean road....in my new aasics...which I adore.....The cookies have settled in around my waist, the chocolate has found my thighs and everything else has just settled in random spots on my body. I think Santa would find me sexy right now. Let me introduce myself: My name is Kim and I am a Cookieaholic. It started with just one snickerdoodle (which from what my mother tells me was her favorite cookie to bake when I was young) just one snickerdoodle at such a young age and the addiction began. What is one cookie when you are so young...one homebaked cookie made with love.....I will tell you that fatness is started on a road paved with good intentions and motherly love....now I can't stop....I will be out of commission for awhile while I am going thru cookie detox (yet again)...I cannot be approached with anything resembling a cookie or I could go into complete cookie shock...or I may go mad and attack the holder of the cookie, I will be unable to clean house as I may come across a stray christmas cookie left behind by some silly silly person that is indifferent to cookies, I will not be able to go to the Mall unless they barricade the cookie shop, I will not be attending church services as they may serve communion and the wafers appear cookie like, there will be no stop at the coffee shop as they try to entice me with their trays of cookies next to the coffee dispensers, I will have to have grocery delivery as I don't think I can make it down the baking aisle at the grocery without throwing in the 50% off bags of chocolate chips (which will then be turned into cookies)...mine will be a sad lonely existence as I battle my demon....I guess I better start running.....Don't take it personally if I snarl at you....its not really me...its my addiction...by March I should be okay......
On Holiday Weight Gain/Cookie Consumption
Alice In Wonderland: "Oh, I'm not particular as to size, only one doesn't like changing so often, you know."
And that my friends sums up Holiday weight gain.
And that my friends sums up Holiday weight gain.
I HAVE MY VERY OWN STALKER
Yes, I know it is hard to believe. Chubby wife, mother of three, grandmother of three, the plodding Athena warrior goddess has her very own stalker. I have been stalked since October. Three whole months of constant stalking. Is it getting to me...yes...am I near the breaking point...yes....do I know my stalker....yes.....it is
Fanny May. She sends me flyers, she sends me emails on a daily basis and NOW she has stepped up her assault. She has Emailed me BOGOs! Ack Fanny May Buy One Get One Free. She is the devil underneath a coating of smooth chocolatey goodness. I am at the point where I am contemplating changing my email address and moving out of town but I guess there is no point...she will find me....she always finds me......
Fanny May. She sends me flyers, she sends me emails on a daily basis and NOW she has stepped up her assault. She has Emailed me BOGOs! Ack Fanny May Buy One Get One Free. She is the devil underneath a coating of smooth chocolatey goodness. I am at the point where I am contemplating changing my email address and moving out of town but I guess there is no point...she will find me....she always finds me......
Saturday, December 22, 2007
My new Theme Song!
I found a song that is even better then "Fat Bottomed Girls" I love this song! It is my new I love myself anthem! You might have to cut and paste it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcRiXOONqf0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcRiXOONqf0
On a Snowy Snowy Day
Exactly 26 years ago I was giving birth to my second son. It was snowy. It was cold. The only vehicle we had was the company van my husband was driving that had one seat for the driver and the passenger a/k/a in labor woman a/k/a me had to sit on a kitchen chair. The roads were slick and the van fishtailed all over the road, I am still to this day not sure if the fishtailing was accidental or just caused by an overenthusiastic snow driver a/k/a husband of woman in labor. All I know was I was in labor and clutching the sides of the kitchen chair and wondering if we would make it to the hospital (which was really only about 5 minutes away but seemed like 5 hours). My poor husband it took all his begging and pleading and telephone calls to my mother to get me to go to the hospital. I was adamant I was NOT going to the hospital. I hated the hospitals. I hated the doctors. I knew this was gonna hurt and for some reason in my demented mind I thought if I did not go to the hospital I could bypass the whole "hurts really bad labor". I told my husband I was not leaving. I was not going to the hospital ever! He was frantic. He pleaded with me to please get in the van and go the hospital. I clung to the bathroom door declaring quite loudly, "I am NOT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL" He tried to reason with me. I was unreasonable. Finally, under the pressure of my husband and the threats of my mother I was coerced into the van. I made it to the hospital. I was right it did hurt. However, the pain was well worth it because Jamie came into the world. Now of course you all know him as James but he was Jamie to me from the day he was born and will be Jamie to me until the day I die. He was dark. He was hairy. He had a cleft in his chin just like his Grandpa Chuck. Without a doubt Groleau blood was in him. Jamie was colicky. Aunt Denise was about the only one who could calm him down. He spent the first year of his life in a baby swing in hopes of lulling him into a sweet happy mood. To this day I have a big bulging bicep from the constant winding up of the baby swing. In those days we did not have auto swings. It was crank, crank, crank, baby happy, swing stop, baby unhappy, crank, crank, crank, baby happy and so on and so on.
1) Had the biggest brownest eyes you have ever seen in your life! He would look at me with tear filled eyes and I would feel like the biggest meaniest baddest mommy in the world for scolding him.
2) I would come downstairs in the middle of the night and he would be perched on the kitchen countertop with a spoon in the peanut butter having himself a little midnight snack. He has had a lifelong love affair with peanut butter.
3)Colored monsters on my bedroom wall with red lipstick (which by the way does not get repaired by merely painting over it). He comes running out of my room, lipstick on his hand saying "I'm in big touble now" (yes he did not put an R in trouble). Grandpa Groleau was there that day and that became his favorite story to tell. And yes Jamie was in "Big Touble" but see number one for why he did not get spanked.
4) Had his own sense of style at a young age he became a dandy dresser. A trait he still has to this day. Jamie, as an adult, often says "Man I look good" His style was to wear three to four shirts each one progressively shorter over a pair of slightly baggy jeans. (not real baggy, just little boy skinny baggy). His top shirt of choice for several years were his football jerseys.
5)Liked to dig in the dirt and bury GI Joes and Matchbox Cars. Several years ago I unearthed a matchbox car. It brought tears to my eyes.
6)Always had dirty knees. I swear the dirt was permanently embedded. I should probably check out his knees today. I bet they are still dirty.
7) One day he came running into the house. He so very excited. He had a present for Mom. One of the neighbors was throwing out a Food Shredder (an electric one). He saw it and brought it home to me. I still have it to this day and cannot bear the thought of getting rid of it (and it still works and I use it at least once a year).
8) Jamie was a laughing happy kid. I got called to the school because he was being the class clown. He was not laughing when I got to school. He as unhappy. He told the principal "She's gonna kill me" The principal was talking to me while Jamie was sitting outside the principal office's by the secretary. He was laughing when he was telling me Jamie was begging him not to call me because "she would kill me" He said, "Are you gonna kill him" I laughed and said "Nah but he's gonna get a pretty good spanking". See number one as to why he did not get spanked. Jamie was advised not to be the class clown anymore. He never really quit but he did not ever cross the getting his parents called to school line.
9) Was always winning stuff. Won a bike, won autographed footballs...just would win stuff...
Opened up the paper one day and there was my son's picture in the Journal and Courier. A picture of him and his little friend sitting on the monkey bars looking out with telescopes.
10) Now this story he had a partner in crime, his older brother, I got up one morning to find one totally white Jamie...all white...just big brown eyes peering out of a powdered covered face. Every white powdery substance in my canisters had been emptied out onto my kitchen floor. He was probably 2 1/2 at the time of the incident. Flour, baking soda, salt EVERYWHERE. In the cracks of the floor and flourery footsteps through out the house. Little white powdery boy got dumped unceremoniously into the bath tub. Mean old Mommy did not care that powdery little boy was not at all happy about being dropped into a bathtub. Mean old Mommy disregarded the shrieks of unhappiness as he had cup after cup of water poured over his head. (Which actually made the flour even more difficult to get out as it "gummed up")
Oh bonus story: He cut the head off my chicken.
As with all my children I have so many stories I could write for hours and hours. Jamie was a good boy and he is a good man. His father says I must stop referring to him as Jamie. I do call him James but in my mind he is Jamie. He has a heart that is full of compassion though he tries his very best to cover it up! He still has the big brown eyes and the cute mischievous smile. You can always count on him if you need him! We love you Jamie and are very proud of you...oops I mean we love you James and are very proud of you.
Love Mean Old Mommy
1) Had the biggest brownest eyes you have ever seen in your life! He would look at me with tear filled eyes and I would feel like the biggest meaniest baddest mommy in the world for scolding him.
2) I would come downstairs in the middle of the night and he would be perched on the kitchen countertop with a spoon in the peanut butter having himself a little midnight snack. He has had a lifelong love affair with peanut butter.
3)Colored monsters on my bedroom wall with red lipstick (which by the way does not get repaired by merely painting over it). He comes running out of my room, lipstick on his hand saying "I'm in big touble now" (yes he did not put an R in trouble). Grandpa Groleau was there that day and that became his favorite story to tell. And yes Jamie was in "Big Touble" but see number one for why he did not get spanked.
4) Had his own sense of style at a young age he became a dandy dresser. A trait he still has to this day. Jamie, as an adult, often says "Man I look good" His style was to wear three to four shirts each one progressively shorter over a pair of slightly baggy jeans. (not real baggy, just little boy skinny baggy). His top shirt of choice for several years were his football jerseys.
5)Liked to dig in the dirt and bury GI Joes and Matchbox Cars. Several years ago I unearthed a matchbox car. It brought tears to my eyes.
6)Always had dirty knees. I swear the dirt was permanently embedded. I should probably check out his knees today. I bet they are still dirty.
7) One day he came running into the house. He so very excited. He had a present for Mom. One of the neighbors was throwing out a Food Shredder (an electric one). He saw it and brought it home to me. I still have it to this day and cannot bear the thought of getting rid of it (and it still works and I use it at least once a year).
8) Jamie was a laughing happy kid. I got called to the school because he was being the class clown. He was not laughing when I got to school. He as unhappy. He told the principal "She's gonna kill me" The principal was talking to me while Jamie was sitting outside the principal office's by the secretary. He was laughing when he was telling me Jamie was begging him not to call me because "she would kill me" He said, "Are you gonna kill him" I laughed and said "Nah but he's gonna get a pretty good spanking". See number one as to why he did not get spanked. Jamie was advised not to be the class clown anymore. He never really quit but he did not ever cross the getting his parents called to school line.
9) Was always winning stuff. Won a bike, won autographed footballs...just would win stuff...
Opened up the paper one day and there was my son's picture in the Journal and Courier. A picture of him and his little friend sitting on the monkey bars looking out with telescopes.
10) Now this story he had a partner in crime, his older brother, I got up one morning to find one totally white Jamie...all white...just big brown eyes peering out of a powdered covered face. Every white powdery substance in my canisters had been emptied out onto my kitchen floor. He was probably 2 1/2 at the time of the incident. Flour, baking soda, salt EVERYWHERE. In the cracks of the floor and flourery footsteps through out the house. Little white powdery boy got dumped unceremoniously into the bath tub. Mean old Mommy did not care that powdery little boy was not at all happy about being dropped into a bathtub. Mean old Mommy disregarded the shrieks of unhappiness as he had cup after cup of water poured over his head. (Which actually made the flour even more difficult to get out as it "gummed up")
Oh bonus story: He cut the head off my chicken.
As with all my children I have so many stories I could write for hours and hours. Jamie was a good boy and he is a good man. His father says I must stop referring to him as Jamie. I do call him James but in my mind he is Jamie. He has a heart that is full of compassion though he tries his very best to cover it up! He still has the big brown eyes and the cute mischievous smile. You can always count on him if you need him! We love you Jamie and are very proud of you...oops I mean we love you James and are very proud of you.
Love Mean Old Mommy
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Sleighs Bells Jingling, Jing Jing Jingling
Today is the YMCA Sleighbell 5k. I have my packet with my shirt and my little jingle bells to put on my shoes. I HATE the jingle bells. I like them on other peoples feet but I deplore them on mine because I then have to listen to the sounds of my labored breathing AND the sounds of my jingle bells as they jingle in a very un rhythmic like jingle. We also have a timing chip! Very cool because in the past we have never had such a thing. So I have had my oatmeal and tablespoon of peanut butter because I cannot go from the day before till after 10:00 a.m to eat. I wish we could start our run at 7:30 a.m. By 9:00am I am well into my morning. I have decided since races freak me out and I panic that I am not gonna worry about time I am just going to have fun with my friends.
I had a really good food week until Friday night...all week...I was such a good girl...thought I was gonna starve to death...but I hung in there. I am going to try to maintain some self control this weekend.
December 5: Is my eldest son's birthday. We will be having him over for dinner tonight because his birthday falls on Wed and it is just too difficult to do a birthday dinner in the middle of the week.
Thoughts on Brad: When we had you we were very young( I had just turned 18 and your father was 19) and we had no idea on how to raise a child. Your father and I likely made every mistake in the book and probably invented new mistakes while raising you but despite the errors made by your parents you thrived and became the awesome person you are today. We are proud that your are a hardworking man and an amazing father. Everytime we see you with your children we marvel at the tenderness and love that pours out of you.
Facts about Brad:
1) Baby Language for Drink of Water "AH DO WAH" and want to go outside (phrased used while banging on the screen door) "AH DO WEEE"
2) Called Bull Dozers "Pickem Up Muddies"
3)Your father liked to play pool in the basement so anytime you would hear pool balls clank you would say "Daddy Daddy"
4) Threw a golf ball at the neighbor's door while walking to school (nothing broke). The neighbor called the police and the police came to our house. I told them you were at school (yes I ratted you out to teach you a lesson) they went to school and told you not to throw golf balls at people's doors. You never threw a golf ball at another person's house after that.
5)When you were a toddler you got into Grandma's Crisco and covered her cabinet door with Crisco (and yes it was hard to get off).
6) One Christmas you and Jamie got up early (before your parents) on Christmas and opened every Christmas present under the tree..EVERY SINGLE ONE
7) Put a dent in the aluminum siding on our house and it is still there today
8)Every teacher you ever had loved you and said you were the most quiet polite child they had ever seen...I still don't know if they had you mixed up with another child because you were never quiet at home.
9) You would often surprise me by having the kitchen cleaned up for me. I still remember one Thanksgiving the house was a disaster when I went to bed and when I woke up a sparkling clean kitchen was there.
10)Got into a gallon of red paint when you were about one or so. I was doing laundry in the basement...you were in the corner...I thought playing with your toys...in fact you had opened a can of paint and painted yourself. I had a little trouble getting the red paint out of your blond hair. You were slightly pink for a couple days after that.
I have lots more but I think you would be horrified if I put them in writing...my very favorite I won't write but a hint...scooby doo underwear...
Brad we love you and are very proud of you!
Okay off to to do the Jingle Bell Trot........
Upcoming Events: Amanda's Baby Shower (Sunday), Brad's Bday, December 8 Craft night at Grandma and Grandpa's House, My Dad's Bday, Snoozys Bday, Aunt Hee Hees Bday, Jamie's BDay, (wow thats alot of Bday Cake), Julianna's expected arrival date (yet another December BDay cake...I am surprised we don't gain 20 pounds during December just from Birthday Cake consumption), Christmas Eve (my house at 5:00), Christmas Day (lunch served around 12-1),
I had a really good food week until Friday night...all week...I was such a good girl...thought I was gonna starve to death...but I hung in there. I am going to try to maintain some self control this weekend.
December 5: Is my eldest son's birthday. We will be having him over for dinner tonight because his birthday falls on Wed and it is just too difficult to do a birthday dinner in the middle of the week.
Thoughts on Brad: When we had you we were very young( I had just turned 18 and your father was 19) and we had no idea on how to raise a child. Your father and I likely made every mistake in the book and probably invented new mistakes while raising you but despite the errors made by your parents you thrived and became the awesome person you are today. We are proud that your are a hardworking man and an amazing father. Everytime we see you with your children we marvel at the tenderness and love that pours out of you.
Facts about Brad:
1) Baby Language for Drink of Water "AH DO WAH" and want to go outside (phrased used while banging on the screen door) "AH DO WEEE"
2) Called Bull Dozers "Pickem Up Muddies"
3)Your father liked to play pool in the basement so anytime you would hear pool balls clank you would say "Daddy Daddy"
4) Threw a golf ball at the neighbor's door while walking to school (nothing broke). The neighbor called the police and the police came to our house. I told them you were at school (yes I ratted you out to teach you a lesson) they went to school and told you not to throw golf balls at people's doors. You never threw a golf ball at another person's house after that.
5)When you were a toddler you got into Grandma's Crisco and covered her cabinet door with Crisco (and yes it was hard to get off).
6) One Christmas you and Jamie got up early (before your parents) on Christmas and opened every Christmas present under the tree..EVERY SINGLE ONE
7) Put a dent in the aluminum siding on our house and it is still there today
8)Every teacher you ever had loved you and said you were the most quiet polite child they had ever seen...I still don't know if they had you mixed up with another child because you were never quiet at home.
9) You would often surprise me by having the kitchen cleaned up for me. I still remember one Thanksgiving the house was a disaster when I went to bed and when I woke up a sparkling clean kitchen was there.
10)Got into a gallon of red paint when you were about one or so. I was doing laundry in the basement...you were in the corner...I thought playing with your toys...in fact you had opened a can of paint and painted yourself. I had a little trouble getting the red paint out of your blond hair. You were slightly pink for a couple days after that.
I have lots more but I think you would be horrified if I put them in writing...my very favorite I won't write but a hint...scooby doo underwear...
Brad we love you and are very proud of you!
Okay off to to do the Jingle Bell Trot........
Upcoming Events: Amanda's Baby Shower (Sunday), Brad's Bday, December 8 Craft night at Grandma and Grandpa's House, My Dad's Bday, Snoozys Bday, Aunt Hee Hees Bday, Jamie's BDay, (wow thats alot of Bday Cake), Julianna's expected arrival date (yet another December BDay cake...I am surprised we don't gain 20 pounds during December just from Birthday Cake consumption), Christmas Eve (my house at 5:00), Christmas Day (lunch served around 12-1),
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