Woof Woof says the Fat Old Labrador

This morning my run went very well. 5 miles no stopping, not even on Puke Mountain. However, as I was running, or more aptly described as trotting, behind Leo (who has the patience of a saint), a visualization popped into my poor oxygen deprived brain. I thought I must look somewhat like an old fat labrador that is being taken on a run by its owner. I am always behind, panting, gasping and my tongue is hanging out of my mounth. I probably would even stop to drink out of a mudpuddle if I thought I could get back up again.

Okay hightlights from this mornings run: I was last again! Even though Jeff and Kris stopped at the VP to get a gatorade they still beat me in....how sad is that...people went SHOPPING and STILL BEAT ME! I hang my head in shame.......sigh..... However, the upside is that I saw their back sides a tiny bit longer then I usually do. I tell you I can identify every person I run with by just looking at their back side because that is all I ever see. I find it ironic that the very thing I am absolutely horrible at is the very thing I love. Side Note: Trying to run to Christine Aguilara's "Aint No Other Man"almost killed me...I better stick to ballads.

Updates:
Last Week: Running Good! No stopping on my 3.25 mile or my 5 mile and on Saturday I did 10 on the treadmill (cause we were out of town at a hotel on an interstate). I did 10 minutes run, 1 minute recovery. However, at least twice I snuck in 2 minute recoveries. I found 10 miles on the treadmill to be horrible and hope to never have to do that again. I got a blister because on the treadmill you foot tends to strike in the exact same place time after time. Outdoors you don't get that because of variation of the ground. I also swam several times over the weekend. My food was good on Saturday but I lost it on Sunday and ate like a pig...of which I am still suffering the consequences of.

Mini: The Mini is fast approaching. I have not yet hit the panic zone but look to start melting down by the second week of April. Leo has been so kind as to bump himself back to my slow corral so I do not have to be by myself. Not to many people would be willing to sacrifice their own time to help someone else achieve a goal and I am so very grateful for that. Ahhh I must have taken my sensitive pill again.... My husband, my son and my daughter in law will be there to witness my total humiliation. I just hope I can cross the line with some semblance of dignity...preferable on my feet and not crawling across the line. I would also like to not puke when I cross the line...oh and not to be last or next to last. My luck I will end up crawling across the line and puking just as the newspaper photographer snaps a picture for the front page of our local paper. I can see the headline now....Local Woman Perseveres, Then Pukes.

Grandchidren: Carissa and Tyson came over the weekend before last. Tyson learned how to play Bunco. I love Tyson...he is the only one that will play games with me. He is very bright and can pick up games in a snap...and he is learning to play a mean game of scrabble...of course he is learning at the foot of the master. Carissa is very mobile and darting all over the place. Her favorite game was "Take everything off Grandma's Coffee Table" followed closely by "Remove all videos from Shelves".
Baby Adam is sitting up and he tried his first bite of Grandma's mashed potatoes. He was not sure about the potatoes. He just let them ooze out of his mouth....hmmm he must take after Grandpa's side because Grandma's side never lets a carbohydrate out of their mouth.

Upcoming Event: Spring Fling on Saturday. A day of fun and lame games with Grandma. I think they only put up with the lame games for the Reeces Cups.

Remark of the Day: "Whoooooo Hoooooooo" Yodeled by Karen as we took off at the Y doors at 5:00 a.m. My response, "I think this is gonna kill me"

Better then I thought

Saturday: Finally got to meet Runner Susan! Met up with her and her sister Amy and had a wonderful time. I have decided I need more girls nights out!

Sunday: 9 miles. Should have done 10 but as I was going to be very late had to skid in at 9 miles. I overslept and then still had to get up and make applesalad to take to the church carryin before I went for my run. HOWEVER, my 9 miles were really good. I was doing about 15 minutes with a 2 minute walk recovery! Much much better. I did it in about 1:57. So my time is getting better. I just slow down so much on the second hour but that is okay...strength is building up I can feel it...I was not really sore. My knee was just a little stiff because I did not put my IT band on after the run...but did not hurt really bad! I was more disgruntled from the large amounts of time I was sitting at church. Sitting for long periods always makes me irritable and tired and it was a very long day at church.

Today the plan is to do a small walk at lunch then one this evening!

High Points of my weekend:
Friday: Having dinner with Baby Adam, Kendra and Lucas and my Mom. I fixed what I thought to be a most delicious meal!
Saturday: Shopping with my hubby in the A.M., My son brought over Ty and Carissa for a visit! Yeah! Meeting up with Amy and Runner Susan
Sunday: Running 9 miles with what I thought to be very little effort(compared to my usual run...probably caused I slowed it down to go further). Ty coming to church with us!

Oops going to be late again!
Will post some pictures later!

VICTORY OVER PUKE MOUNTAIN

I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT! You all getting that I DID IT. Finally after months and months I made it up 4th Street hill with stopping. In fact I made it thru the whole 5 miles with no walking at all...not on any of the hills! Yeah Me! I was slow but that was okay! Then Friday I was in NO PAIN, which means.....I AM GETTING STRONGER. I have been told time and time again if I am faithful to the climate runs they will make me better. 1) I am running with others that will help push me and 2) The Hills will make me stronger and 3) I will not get skittish while running with others. For some reason when I run with more then 2 people I get all skittish and kinda sick to my stomach. I think the nausea comes from being nervous because I know I will be last and I hate to be last.

Today or tomorrow I have to try for 10 miles. No I have to DO 10 miles.

Now to start my busy day today!

Hostile, Giddy and Bewildered

Those were my mood swings for yesterday. I think I need extra extra extra strength midol. In addition, I have felt sarcastic, mean and nasty and then I when I was taking a walk last night and glanced over in the window and I saw a short squat tubby middle aged woman, discovered it was ME and THEN I WAS DEPRESSED. It is crucial for my well being that I remove 20 pounds of unsightly pudge from my body asap (which was why I was out walking). I need to start walking at lunch again but now we have cable in our break room and it is all I can do to pull myself away from The Young and the Restless. So I must, as sad as it makes me, says goodby to Victor, Nikki, Kay and Jill and begin my afternoon walks.

Sunday: 9.19 walk/run. Not to bad considering I had a belly full of Honey Bunches of Oats (which I will never buy again due to its yumminess factor!)
Monday: Power Hour but not full effort due to my walk/run Sunday. I was all tuckered out.
Tuesday: A little lifting and a 3.25 mile run. Kept a nice steady pace. Kept a good pace by telling myself that 3.25 is nothing compared to 9.19 mile. I did only .25 mile walk to warm up in the beginning..no more walking. Then my husband I did a 3.75 mile walk in the evening...which I was behind him 90% of the time because 1) my legs were tired from my run in the morning 2) I have PMS weight weighing me down 3) My corn was on fire!

Wednesday: Swimming this a.m. which I am going to be late for if I don't quit blogging and ,hopefully, if the the young and restless does not lure me away, a 30 minute walk this afternoon and perhaps a little walk after church.

Okay time to swim...the pudge will not be removed by sitting at my computer desk...though a girl can dream...

A TALE OF A BRAVE WOMAN

On a dark and cold morning (6:30 a.m. Sunday to be exact) a middle age but extremely attractive woman (somewhat Jessica Simpson looking) steps out her front door to be greeted by an arctic blast. Despite the dark and the cold she bravely puts one foot in front of the other as she descends her front porch steps to the sidewalk covered that is covered with a thin layer of ice and snow, all the while her minds screams "ARE YOU NUTS? THERE A POT OF COFFEE ON IN THE KITCHEN!" Her mind continues to resist for it knows what torture her body is about endure. The woman is strong. The woman is brave. She completely ignores the screams of panic her mind is emitting and begins to jog slowly down the street. The houses are unlit (as most of the people in her neighborhood are slackers). It is a silent environment but the woman knows this not because the silence is covered by the sounds of her own uncontrolled breathing and Conway Twitty crooning softly "Hello Darlin". As her breathing becomes yet more labored she decides that surely she will die from oxygen deprivation but nothing not even passing out from lack of oxygen will deter our heroine from her long training run. At one point the woman stumbles she recalls a fellow runner advising her to pick up her feet when she runs. She painfully calls her quads into action. They rebel but she offers them a deal. If they agree to pick up her feet she will allow them to have a 7 minute 3 minute ratio for the duration of the 8.07 mile run. The quads, while reluctant to work, realize the wisdom in accepting this deal. This extremely attractive (somewhat Jessica Simpson looking) woman is no longer stumbling. Her breathing becomes less labored. Lorretta Lynn beguns to sing of the misery of a having a misbehaving husband and THEN the only sound the woman hears is the sound of her own breathing. She pulls out her MP3 player in disbelief. The words "Battery Low" are flashing vengefully at her. Oh no! This cannot be! Her mind screams in horror at the thought of the duration of the run being with music. She panics. She knows the battery is cold (after all it is only 17 degrees outside). She opens her mouth and breathes on the battery in hopes of breathing new life into it. The battery does not respond....it is dead. She contemplates calling on the cell phone to request that someone bring her a new battery. She realizes that if she does this not only will the battery be dead but she would be as well (as her family, like her neighbors are slackers). In disgust she crams her headphones into her pocket and continues on. It is dayight now. Her labored breathing is mixed with the sounds of birds chirping. She has a desire to shoot the birds unless they can chirp something by Reba McIntyre. Onward she goes. Past Burger King, where the smell of bacon is wafting though the air. Her son's house is not far away, but she knows, she will not be met with open arms and a cup of coffee this early on a Sunday morning. Her daughter's house is next, again she does not stop. She knows her daughter will tell her if she wants coffee to jog back to Burger King and get some. The woman feels very sad indeed that no one in her family joins her on these early morning execursions or even says "Please stop by and I will give you nourishment on your journey". A solitary tear falls down the woman's cheek. Oh no! She wipes it away and realizes that it is not a tear but the sweat of her brow. She wonders how can one sweat when it is 17 degrees. Her wrists having been exposed to the elements are now red and wind burnt. She wonders if she is getting frost bite. Can one die of frost bite? She decides not to fret over frost bite as it will probably be the oxygen deprivation that kills her. Finally finally she comes to the main road. What will it be? The big hill on the bridge with the fun filled down hill or the flat road? The sidewalks are snow covered and icy going over the bridge. She pictures falling and then hurtling over the rail to her demise. The woman turns toward the flat road. She has chosen her path. The home stretch is near. Her quads have served her well under the agreement. She now turns on her quads and says there will be no more 3/7. The rest of the route will be finished with no walking. Her quads do not complain but her lungs claim her to be a traitor and a liar. In protest they begun to burn and threaten to collapse. She begs. She pleads, "Surely surely you can handle the rest of the journey" Her lungs begun to heave but she sees her house beckoning her, she decides she can breathe when she gets home and picks up the pace and speeds toward her front porch. The middle age but extremely attractive woman (somewhat Jessica Simpson looking) skids to a stop. She has made it. She is alive. She takes a deep breath and begins her cool down stretch.

Stay tuned for next week. Will the woman make it thru 9 miles or will she suffer oxygen deprivation and keel over dead?

Winter Sleep Coma

What a better way to start a post then with a whine....I AM SICK OF WINTER! I DISLIKE THE COLD DARK EVENINGS! I come home, I make dinner (sometimes my honey makes dinner as he has for the past two nights), clean up the dinner dishes (okay he cleans up..what a great husband) and then I GO UPSTAIRS AND GET IN BED AND DO NOT MOVE TILL MORNING. Which means I burn exactly NO calories in the evening. I want some daylight, I want to move around and feel alive in the evening but the dark cold evenings have the exact same effect on me as Tylnol PM. Okay enough about that...

Semi Running: In all honesty I can't call what I do running because 1) I am not fast and 2) I walk time to time....but here goes the rundown for the week: Monday 8 miles consisting of .25 mile walks then .75 run on the machine of death and boredom a/k/a the Treadmill, Tuesday 3 miles probably spent at least .75 of that walking...maybe a little less. Thursday...now that was depressing...5 miles and lots of walking. I don't know what was wrong with me because I was way worse then usual. I believe it may be because of the 8 miles on Monday so this weekend I will definetely do my long run so I am not stuck with making it up on Monday. The plan for me is to be fresh for the Thursday Climate Run. Thanks to Tink and Turtle for staying back with me and not getting frustrated because every time they turned around to check on me I was walking. Of course when they turned around I had to start running again...Perhaps they should have run backwards the whole way to keep me moving. No running today other then the small bit in Power Hour and my hope is to do a long run on Saturday morning...early so I can actually have a Saturday.

Swimming: Wednesday...I swear I worked harder at swimming. I told my friend Jill...she looked skeptical.....hahahahah everyone should have a friend that will call you out when you are slacking. My favorite Jill swimming quote, "Waa, get moving".

Hunger: I am suffering from unending hunger. I think my stomach is eating a hole in my body. I am eating plenty believe me but I am like a bottomless pit. That is one of the reasons I am up at this awful hour of the night. I woke up hungry...can't eat...want fudge, want cookies...want anything sweet. Can't eat...trying to take my mind of hunger by blogging...it is not helping...I am wondering if the Candy Cane ink pen in my pen jar would taste good. It is a long time till breakfast....sigh

Okay I am going to bed because this obviously is not working as my hunger has not decreased one iota. I will probably end up chewing on my sheets.......