Quote of the Day

"Did you take some kinda pill"

Spoken by my husband for my extreme housecleaning mode. Back up at 6:30 a.m. to organize my videos and DVDs by catorgories, dusted my living room (now Jerry will just have to guess my thoughts since I have no place to write), scubbed bathroom sink, tub and toilet (uck), cleaned my side of the room (big stack of books, magazines, 4 pair of running shoes, 1 pair of hiking books, one pair of slippers, two pair of jeans and threw all the stuff off the top of my nightstand into the nightstand drawer..a favorite cleaning trick of mine), wiped out the fridge and threw away things I thought might give me food poisoning, emptied the box of stuff I had from when I switched jobs, vacuumed the computer room and "straightened" it up, did dishes, and cleaned out the dogs ears (yet another argument against having future pets), attempted to get Lizzie (who is very ill) to take her medicine, repeatedly poked it in her mouth when she kept spitting it out...and NOW I am blogging and having a much deserved cup of joe. As soon as my laundry is dry we will be heading out to Walmart....

Update: I obtained a Walmart headache while in Walmart. I hate the new Walmart. I love the old Walmart. From now on I will drive to the old Walmart even though it is farther away. The people were driving me nuts. They were IN MY WAY AND THEY WOULD NOT MOVE. I need to rent out Walmart so I can shop by myself.

Baby Adam. He has a tooth. I can feel it. He will not let me see it. Even when I offered to trade him a yummy yummy enfamil bottle for one little peek of this tooth he would not open his mouth wide enough for Grandma to see. I told him no cookies till I see proof of tooth!

Bacteria Cocktails All Around!

Tuesday I started coming down with the flu by Wednesday I was in bed...not eating....cramping, achy, felt like one of the Sopranos worked me over. Little did I know that my sweet sweet granddaughter had whipped up a bacteria cocktail for Grandma.... which was passed to an unknowing loving Grandma via kisses...so Carissa's kisses packed a wallop. The Bacteria Family Tree is as follows: Sunday before last Adam projectile vomits at Indiana Beach...he was there with his parents and his Aunt Natalie, Cousin Tyson and Cousin Carissa....by Tuesday Baby Adam's parents are sick.....then the following Sunday (father's day WELCOME TO THE PUKING SIDE OF FATHERHOOD BRAD) Carissa begins the vomit festival, Monday Tyson joins in, by Tuesday her father, and I am sick and then Wednsday poor Natalie who is still recovering from open heart surgery is sick. What is ironic is that I am the only who wasn't vomiting all over the place. See there is something to be said for leading a healthy exercising life. The bacteria tried to take me down but only took down my front forces...my back troops stood firm. It took me two days and then I was pretty much over it beside a residual nausea. Despite being sick Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday I was able to get a good lift in and I did 4 miles at 12 minute mile pace. Not bad for a girl that was bed ridden and unable to eat or drink for two days. I did bail on the Thursday climate run because I did not think I was up to 5 miles and I did not want to actually puke on Puke Mountain.

NEWS: Baby Adam is having a tooth break through...will keep you updated on this great breaking news!

KUDOS: My son James is on his way to being a big loser! 18 pound weightloss so far! Go Jamie Go! I will see you at the Mini next year!

Misery and Pain: My poor husband's foot is still not healed. If it is what they think it is he is in for alot of work to get this healed up if they can heal it at all. They suspect it is a nerve disorder...his nurses opinion"You will wish you just had a stress fracture"...ouch more to come on this topic after his Monday appointment with the rheumotoid doctor...which he will then likely be sent to a Nuerologist. They have tossed around RSD which if you go out on the web you will see that it is going to be no picnic for Jerry, if this is in fact what he suffers from.

Sewage: Every blog should discuss sewage at one time. My pipes have once again backed up and I cannot blame the King of Dookie since he is no longer living in the house a/k/a Jamie. So I guess it must be tree roots and other nasty nasty things. shudder.......So my husband once again (this has become twice a year pleasure), rented an electric eel and began the disgusting job of unclogging the drain pipe out to the road. Running an electric eel is not easy and takes quite a bit of strength and a very strong stomach. My husband has now vowed to take a chain saw to our neighbors tree and cut it down to keep it from working its wily roots into our drain.

Lady of the Night: I am a lady of the night. That is a carpet cleaning lady of the night. Seeing as I have no life my friday night was spent by shampooing my living room carpet. Of course I was looking fine as I was wearing my best attire for this roaring fun....my old running shoes, mens gym shorts and a tee shirt. I am surprised my husband could keep his hands off me as I was so drop dead gorgeous...dab a little lemon pledge behind my ears and who knows where the night might lead...... okay the running shoes, gym shorts, tee shirt and not even the lemon pledge caused my husband to whisk me away...so on with carpet cleaning.....It is 11:41 pm. I just finished the carpet and am contemplating whether I can dare have any more fun...perhaps I could dust my banister or the furniture. However, if I dust my furniture I effectively shut down my form of communcation with my husband as he can leave correspondence to me on the coffee tables and endtables. What an awesome way to save the trees! I really think house work is overrated but when I do it it is either very late at night or very early in the a.m. (night practically). Every once in awhile I will do a night time cleaning jag but overall I intensely dislike the whole house cleaning experience. Yes I like a clean house, yes I like order...yes I want someone else to do it for me...and thank goodness I married a man who likes to clean and is good at it (a gene passed down to my oldest son Brad..who vacuums his curtains and was excited to get a swiffer wet jet for his birthday)

My reason for disliking housework are:
1) If I dust I am disturbing the delicate balance of our ecosystem. Did they not teach us in school that we should leave nature as we found it?
2) House work causes injuries...the last time I was mopping. I got all into the mopping groove and drove the mop handle into my own face.
3) Everyone knows that a clean house is a sign of a boring woman
4) Running burns more calories then running the sweeper
5) I almost killed myself with a chemical mixture of comet and bleach. I thought this would be an awesome toilet cleaning solution...what it did was make a giant mushroom cloud of toxic fumes which caused my lungs to burn and my eyes to water and all I could smell was bleach for two days afterwards. I also think it gave my face a chemical peel.
6)Of course there is always the old standby..why clean it when it will just get dirty again.
7) I will have time to clean when I am retired
8)If you clean more then two days in a row people expect it all the time.
9)I don't think people feel comfortable in a house that looks like it should be in Better Homes and Gardens. At my house people don't hesitate to plop their feet up on my coffee table..even my 18 months granddaugher does this (and it is adorable).
10) Nobody ever had a headstone that said "She kept a really clean house"

Other News or Thoughts that are of no interest to anyone but me:

There is a run in Hell Michigan. I think it is like 5 miles. You get a shirt that says "I've run thru Hell" I want that shirt!

Since I have been slacking on the workouts my belly jiggles when I run. I don't like it. I have now kicked into high gear so I can be jiggle free for the Zoo Run Run.

My thighs are gigantic and I suspect it might not be all muscle.

Just because I think I look like Jessica Simpson does not mean other people do. ( I still think they are wrong though!)

I think it is okay to stop and have a cookie afterwork on Friday nights because it is better then stopping for a beer.

The scales were down 1 1/4 pounds on Wed.

Poison makes me run faster (not like arsenic but the group).

Well that is all for tonight. I think the lady of the night shall retire to her quarters.
Pictures to follow soon...one especially will bust a gut for those of us who can laugh at ourselves.

Just call me Monk

Well maybe I am not Monk on cleanliness because I could careless if my house is dirty and I embrace dust and disorganization. HOWEVER, I am a Monk when it comes to my schedule. I like to do the same things at the same time every day! But the month of May has been most hectic. Not that I mind because my family is my number one priorty and always will be BUT if I am not in my routine I have no discipline at all with food or exercise or anything else. So I am going to consider this week a write off and will start afresh this new week. My goals:

Resume being at the Y at 5:15 a.m. as opposed to dragging my sorry butt in every day *except Thursdays* at 6:00 a.m.
Quit Slacking in the weight room and yacking my jaws to my friends instead of pumping iron
Resume spinning and power hour with a vengence
The running will be 3 days with the long run being 5 miles. Probably do 3, 5 and 3 while my foot heals.
Lean to swim like a dolphin...okay maybe a penguin.
Not sitting on the couch in the evening but trying to do a least 30 minutes of house/yard work a night THEN going on my bike ride....oh resume nightly bike rides.
Resume afternoon walks at work

Biggest Loser: We are doing a bigger loser contest at work. The weigh in was Wednesday (honor system on account of no one wants to give up their numbers). The weigh in are every Wed and we have to chart our own progress. Again this is the honor system. Every week we put a $ in the kitty and at the end of 16 weeks the winner gets the pot. I have not yet heard if this is based on body percentage or just straight pounds. In order to be fair it should be body percentage. Perhaps this will give me an incentive to control my weekend food and get the rest of this chub off me. Because I really feel like the key to running is to get off 25 pounds...then I know I will be sleek and fast....like a race horse...well more likely a draft horse...but hey they are pretty fast when they get moving.

Hog Jog: This Saturday. My foot and knee hurt AND it is going to be hot as blazes. I have not yet determined if I will actually run it. I might bale on the 10k and do the 2mile. If you remember from last year the Hog Jog was a fiasco. It was hot. I was ill prepared. I was scared I would be last. I was miserable and I used vulgar language when I passed my son who was holding the video camera. He then attempted to blackmail me with the video with threats of showing my Grandma. That did not work. I told him he could show it to Grandma, he could show it to my mom, he could show it to the entire church and I DID NOT CARE b/c I WAS MISERABLE. This year....it will be hot...I am ill prepared (due to limited running b/c of knee and foot pain), my vulger language vocabulary has grown, and I know I will be last because I bet that guy that was last last year will not come anywhere near the hog jog. So there you have it...a receipe for disaster.

Self Loathing: I am in a high swing of self loathing. I look at myself and the first thing I think is DISGUSTING. Yes I have lost a lot of weight but I still have futher to go. Being overweight for years has done a lot of damage to my body and no amount of weight loss will fix that. I look like a candle that has had a lighter run around its outside. I guess that is the best way to picture my abdominal damage...I look melted. As for my thighs they are huge...I have giant quad muscles and it is not attractive..will dropping weigh reduce my quad size...and let me not begin with my donkey calves. My arms...yuck...again I don't think weight loss is gonna do a whole lot about that....I envy woman that can wear tank tops and sleeve less dresses...sigh......okay enough of the pity party...I guess Kim at this size is better then the size 28 Kim. But even if I could by chance become a size 10 Kim I would never look like a "normal" woman because I have to much damage..to my skin. Okay enough about that.

Upcoming events: Father's day and July 4th and then July 20 and July 21 Grandpa and Grandma Kaufman will be having their 40th wedding anniversary party/reunion

The BIG QUESTION: Will I suck it up and do the hog jog and realize that there is no shame in lastness?
Forecast: Will likely do it...will likely be last...will spend the next two months whining and complaining about the trauma of being last....

My weird thought: There is shame in lastness but that only pertains to me...when other people are last I am so proud of them for hanging in there...does this even make sense?

Not at the Y this morning as resting for my potential hog jog...so now I will jump in the tub and commence the beautifying so that I may stun my co-workers with my incredible beauty. (It is 6:15 now...I have to be at work by 8:00...the beautifying process is quite lengthy)

Pictures

Two peas in a pod.

Abby getting instruction from cousin Jamie on the proper use of foam blow dart guns. At least he bought her a foam blow dart gun. Aunt D bought Brad and James a real blow dart guns when they were like 14 and 15. I told her they would shoot each other. She says, "They are not stupid they won't do that" All night I heard from upstairs"Dude....Ouch!"

The sisters and the mothers. Grandma Mae, Me, Aunt Snoozy, Gma C, and Aunt D.

Amanda (and baby), Aunt D, Grandma Mae, Amber and Abby.

Tasha, James and Grandma Mae.

Natalie, Tyson, Brad, Carissa, and Grandma Mae.

Poor Kendra, Lucas and Adam have no family picture as Adam was at home throwing up!

Flu Bug Enters Town

Yikes...I stopped over to see my little buster brown (a/k/a Baby Adam) on Sunday and two hours later he was puking at Indiana Beach. I am assuming it was not Grandma kisses that made him sick but the flu bug. Yes indeed it was the flu bug because yesterday at work I get a phone call...a weak little voice says, "Mom, what are you doing". I respond that I am at work and then the most pathetic little voice says..."Oh I am puking and Lucas is pukings" She sounded so sick and weak! The calvary rode in a/k/a Grandpa (he had a light schedule) and he picked up the little guy so Mom and Dad could puke in peace. This was Grandpa's first day by himself with Adam! I came home on my lunch break and they were doing just fine. Matter of fact he said I was disturbing them as I made Adam cry and whine when he saw me because he wanted Grandma to hold him. Grandpa changed diapers, Grandpa gave the baby a nap, grandpa made a baby fort to keep baby corraled. The corral was an elaborate set up of coffee table, couch, toy box, baby saucer and a gate made of his baby rings. Adam and Grandpa made their first fort! Grandpa and Adam also went to Walmart where they bought a new disc for the camera and a spiffy new teething ring that vibrates when it gets chewed on. Grandpa says Adam is a chick magnet. When I got home from work Adam and Grandpa were sitting on the porch swing just happy as clams. I called to check on Kendra she still had a fever and the chills so I told her I would keep Adam overnight and then Grandpa would bring him home in the morning on his way to work. She was most appreciative! I get the play pen set up in our room and put in his favorite blanket in preparation for bed time. So now...will Adam sleep all night so that Grandma may have her wits about her when she goes to work..or will Adam stay up all night, demand that he be in Grandma's and Grandpa's bed and then kick and roll all over Grandma and Grandpa all night? I an happy to report...Adam slept...in the play pen...only woke up once...I promptly stuck his plug in (pacifier) and he went back to sleep...He did not want to go to sleep at first because we had the light on and the TV on. He crawled all over us, all over the bed..we put him in the play pen....he was not happy...put him next to me on the bed...he thought we were playground eqipment. Grandpa final turns off the TV and the light and goes downstairs to watch "Glen Beck". He tells Adam "Goodnight it is your bedtime". Baby puts his head down and falls asleep and the transfer to the play pen was successful. Now lets just hope Grandma and Grandpa avoid the flu bug. I hope Adam did not send his flu bug to Florida via Grandma Mae.

Cute things are children have done:Abby and Tyson: Played military...we were short on GI Joes so the military consist of a few GI Joes, mini babies, little care bears, little fisher price people, and Kelly dolls. Tyson says to Abby "Lets play war" and Abby says she does not know how. Tyson then proceeds to fill her in on military strategy and such. He was very serious about the ways of war! Abby says to me "Aunt Kim babies are in the military" hmmm out of the mouth of babes. At any rate Abby's army of babies and one GI Joe was totally destroyed by the army of two GI Joes, care bears, fisher price people and the kelly dolls. Evidently Fisher Price people are much more fierce then they appear. Upon the destruction of Abby's Army she threw her self back in the chair and sobbed.

Carissa: Drama Queen to the Extreme...she works the crowd...she is destined for Hollywood. She does this thing called, "The Monster" Picture above..."The Monster" looks funnier when she is not covered in mac and cheese. She does "The Monster" on command and just when ever it strikes her and has found it a fine way to get laughs. The adults are all sitting in a circle and Carissa does her monster (which makes Grandma laugh like crazy) and while she is doing it she is swiveling around so the whole family can see it. Aunt Suzie says she needs to stop because people are going to think something is wrong with her. Grandma loves it! I love that she goes up to random people and does "The monster".

Mae: Mae made it safely back home! She said she had a great time! We did as well! My dad would have found it quite funny that we took his diamond bedecked wife to a tavern/pub for lunch and yard saling.

Time to get ready for work...missing the Y since we have Adam but will be back in the swing of things by next week...providing my knee and foot improves...otherwise it will be alot of swimming.

My Knee Hurts and Other News

Tyson defeats Abby's Military of Baby....she is not happy....Tyson is.

My knees hurts as does my foot....it started a couple of weeks ago and it is taking its time getting better. The Sunday before last I tried to wrap both knees and run. It hurt so bad I was crying so I started walking. Last week I ran one mile on Tuesday and did 3 miles on the eliptical...no pain. Thursday I skipped the climate run and used the treadmill so I could stop when it started hurting. I did 3 miles with insignificant (not to be confused with none) pain. Today I tried to run my knees, my foot hurt (the same pain as last year), matter of fact my entire body hurt. I am going to chalk it up to exhaustion and try to ice and take tylnol in hopes of making the pain go away.

Grandma Mae is returning to Floriday today. We had a wonderful visit!

Recap of events:

Thursday: Mae arrives...went to Arnis for dinner. I ate like a pig.

Friday: Hooked up with Mae and went to Battleground to TC's at lunch for a killer tenderloin...then had a family gathering of around 19 people in the evening. I kept it simple...hot dogs, hamburgers, (hand spanked by your's truely), pasta salad, watermelon and chips. My family kept saying, "Where is all the food" I told them after going to TC's and having a giant tenderloin that I was not hungry so cooking for 19 did not excite me much. We ended the night by playing scrabble.

Saturday: Started the day with Biscuits and Gravy at Aunt Denises...then took Mae on a yard sale excursion. We told her we did not good bargins because she was bedecked in diamonds so the people thought we had money and therefore would not go down in price so that we could afford yet more jewelry. I told her it is the yard sale way to wear just plain jeans and tee shirt...no jewelry....that way people will think we are destitute and much more likely to bargin with us... Went to Aunt D's for a family birthday/reunion party...However, Mom ended up in the hospital that night and was unable to attend...neither did her hospital helpers...Kendra, James and Tasha. Mom came back to spend the night at my house while she came down from her morphine high.

Sunday: Chicken and Noodles at Aunt D's house....just sat around till around 9:30 chatting and such.

Monday: Dinner at my house. Hahahahah I was in control of the meal...the food Nazi...no carbohydrate festival of noodles, potatos and rolls...we had Grilled Chicken, Baked Potatoe, Corn on the Cob, watermelon and a beautiful tossed salad...and diabetic jello cake for dessert. I have found if you do not set out potato salad the family will actually consume greens...of course I had to lure them to the salad with shredded cheese and bacon bits...but at least I was able to sneak greens in on them.

Okay more details later: