Kim's Perspectives on Saturdays

Saturday run March 15, 2008: 8.33 miles of urban funness.
Attendees: (In no particular order of running ability) Kim, Jill,
Kris, Jeff and Cory.

First off I must comment, how can a run not be good when it starts
with the following conversation:

"Did you wipe?" (only a teacher would ask this question)
"Yes I wiped. I wiped and I wiggled"

"Did you forget your sports bra?" (again a teacher question)
"No. I got two on"

And then off they go, down the road,over the bridge thru the ghetto,
side by side (for those of you who are not familar this is is in the
same writing style as the book "The Poky Litte Puppy" which is my all
time favorite children's book)

Kris said to Jeff and Kim, as she plodded beside them, her foot hurt
and she would be taking it easy....then Jeff and Kim did not hear from
her again till 3.22 mile where she was waiting at the corner for
everyone to meet up. Don't know what kinda of Coffee Kris is drinking
before the runs but please please please get some to Kim asap. The
improvement she has made is baffling..I am almost sure it is that
coffee that TUM brought back from his trip.

Discovered that we have a dog named "Dave" in this town. Who names a
dog "Dave"?

If you pray hard enough. Your prayers will be answered and traffic
will hold you up at a light long enough to catch your breath.

Bob and Jillian were probably shepards in a previous life as they were
always rounding up the lost lambs.

Jeff loves real estate with a particular interest in the roofs of real
estate.

Kris was trying to torment Kim as she took a route that included
passing by a VP that had coffee brewing, a pizza place (lucky for her
it was closed) and McDonalds. I wonder if McDonalds would care if they
had to swipe a debit card pulled out of a sweaty sports garment? Can
you put coffee in those hydration packs?

Hedgewood Hill...Kim had great trepidation turning onto Hedgewood as
last year when training she never never not once made it up Hedgewood
without stopping and in fact had to mostly walk up Hedgewood. This
year she made it! Why you ask ? Did she get beat and whipped up the
hill with Kris's belt and Bob's big stick? No! Was she lured up the
hill with the promises of baked goods? No! It was because she was
distracted by Bob with talk of fish oil and weight loss. Despite the
hill Kim was able to utter if it would help her to lose weight not
only would she eat fish oil but she would eat the head off of a fish.
Bob told her that would not be necessary but she should try the fish
oil capsules. Other topics of interest while going up the hill:
cookies..in particular girl scout cookies.

Jillian did not do her required task of keeping Bob occupied so that
Kim could walk up Hedgewood Hill instead of plod up it. Kim is glad
that Jillian did not do this, as now she can say "I made it up the
giant hill!" Okay it is not really a GIANT hill but it certainly is an
area that has an increasing elevation level.

It is funny Bob and Jillian are like a well oiled training machine.
We get to a hill, get up just a wee bit and then without a word they
both circle around at the same time to bring the back of the packers
up the hill.

Our 8.33 miles was a just a warm up for Jillian. She went out for more
when we got back. I think she is secretly the bionic woman.

Kim had a theory that if they fell back far enough. The shepards would
not come back for them and they could walk. That proved not to be
true. Evidently shepards are viligent about watching their flock and
shepards will let the lambs wander but only so far.

Jillian agains makes Jeff and Kim yell whoo hoo. She makes Kim repeat
whoo hooo three times before she is satified there was enough gusto in
it. Jeff is compliant and says whooo hooo in a voice loud enough the
first time to please Jillian.

Most uttered word by group:"CAR"

Kim's most frequent thought: "Where are all my friends I use to hang
out with"

Kim's thoughts on the thoughts of others:

Kris: "I gotta hurry and get back to the Y for my next cup of coffee
and I not giving any to Kim"

Jillian: "Yeah were almost back to the Y. I am gonna see if can make
Kim and Jeff black out by making them yell whooo hooo"

Bob: "I came back from Indy for this?"

Jeff: "Kim better not be praying"
***********************************

Saturday, March 22, 2007 9.2 miles for the faint of heart and 10 miles
for those of the hard core persuasion.

Attendees:
Hard Core Parties: Trainer Bob, Trainer Jillian, and Fleet Footed Jeff
Faint of Heart: Kim


Jeff was in fine form and must have ate his Wheaties AND had several
cups of Kris's magic coffee.


The route was to include more hills. Trainer Bob says Hedgewood twice
and 18th Street once. Kim gasps and says, "I have to cook dinner for
15 people on Saturday day AND have an Easter Egg Hunt I got to be able
to move" Trainer Jills says "That's crap you can take a nap when you
get home, Bob tell her that is crap" Kim, long trained in negotiations
from being the mother of teens, offers to do the hills the week after
she returns from her trip. Trainer Bob says "We will compromise and
do Hedgewood once and 18th Street once...this week" It was likely the
trainers day to switch Good Cop/Bad Cop profiles.


As mentioned above the agreement was to do Hedgewood once and 18th
street once. Kim was gleeful. Because you all know if you come uphill
it is very likely you will go downhill first. However, our town,
unique that it was laid out by drunkards, manages to make the downhill
of Hedgewood become a downhill, uphill, downhill, uphill and downhill.
Yes, that is correct uphills on our downhill portion. Of course
coming back up could it be uphill,downhill,uphill...absolutely
not...just uphill.


Traffic Lights: Somehow Bob and Jillian got in contact with the
Traffic department of our great city and arranged to have EVERY SINGLE
stoplight become green when we approached it.


Beating Stick: Trainer Bob finds his big stick (do Bob and Jillian
check out the route ahead of time and make sure there is a big stick
ready?). He nicely asks Kim,"Ok if you stop where do you wanna be
hit..the head, the back or the calves" Kim responds, "Probably my head
you will do the least damage"


18th Street Hill: Trainer Jillian withholds water from Kim. Trainer
Jillian says,"Give me your water bottle. You can have it back when you
get to the top of the hill. I don't want you to have any excuse to
stop." Kim makes it to the top of the hill does not need her water
and in fact does not want to be burdened with carrying the bottle of
water any more. Wonders if she does not mention it will Jillian lug it
all the way back to the Y? A ploy used by many children is to ask Mom
"to hold something for just a minute" and then they never come back to
get it because they don't want to carry it around...this is most often
seen at amusement parks and fairs. However, it will work quite nicely
for plodders and those that are trainers of plodders.


Hansel and Gretal: Was it Hansel and Gretal that left the trail of
breadcrumbs so they could find their way home? In this story a trail
of Jelly Beans was left. Kim was running and all of a sudden heard
"dink dink dink" Crap her Jelly Beans were rolling out of her pocket
and dropping on the sidewalk. If it had been been M&Ms she probably
would have stopped and picked them up off the ground but hey you can
get a bag of Jelly Beans for .25 on clearance now. Do you think that
Trainers Bob and Jillian would frown upon eating M&Ms during a run?
They have previously stated that no doughnuts are allowed during runs
but M&Ms have not been addressed yet.


Music Picks of the Week: Cher (If I could turn back time), Kid Rock
and Cheryl Crow (Picture) which Kim listened to like 25 times because
it is slow and she can plod and breath while listening to this song.
John Parr (Naughty Naughty) Def Lepard (Pour some sugar). Kim was
enjoying her music picks of the week untill her MP3 player died on
18th street. Jillian offers to sing for Kim but Kim knows what music
Jillian listens to and passes on that nice offer.


9th Street: Trainer Jillian says "Hey lets catch up with Trainer Bob
and Jeff by Logan" Kim grunts. By this time poor Kim could do nothing
more then grunt and moan. She moans and trainer Jillian must take that
for a yes because by the time they approach Logan they have caught up
with the guys but Kim is tired oh so tired and soon falls behind
again.


Oak Court: Kim is out of jelly beans. She has her water bottle back
again with its nasty 1/2 gatorade 1/2 water mixture. She takes a
drink. Has no desire or energy to lug her water bottle around. Sees a
huge open trash can. Throws it...completely misses it...does not
care...will not pick it up off the ground....their yard had trash in
it anyway...Kim is rude and litters when she is tired....


The end of the route appears. Jeff and Bob and Jillian want to finish
with an even 10. Kim does not care and would not have run an even 10
if there were 12 dozen boxes of girl scout cookies as a reward at the
end.


Jeff's Trash Talk: Jeff's feet were moving as fast as his mouth on
Saturday. He was running AND trash talking to the trainers. Boy is he
in trouble next Saturday when Kim is gone and unable to divert one
trainers attention. Rumor has it that next week he will be hit in the
head till he shuts up.....Its gonna be all about Jeff next week...poor
Jeff.