I wanna Ponytail too

My grandson who is just getting ready to turn 3 loves to do what everyone else is doing...when Grandpa goes to the shed to work..Adam wants to go the shed to work...when Grandma is cooking in the kitchen...Adam wants to cook in the kitchen...when Baby Keaton is crawling around on the floor...Adam wants to crawl around on the floor....sooooo when Grandma says to granddaughter Carissa "Do you want Grandma to put your hair up in a ponytail" that opened a Pandora's box...Adams yells while rubbing his buzz cut..."I wanna ponytail in my hair too!" I look at him and CALMLY state "Boys don't wear ponytails" Now I know this statement might cause a flap but I DO NOT LIKE LONG HAIR ON MEN OR BOYS (unless it is Jon Bon Jovi)My boys never had long hair, my husband has short hair and to this day they keep themselves sheared pretty close. At any rate this statement of reason did not sit well with my little man, who once again insisted that he have a ponytail like "Rissa" and that he too wanted a butterfly barrett. I again stated "Boys don't wear ponytails AND you don't have enough hair to have a ponytail" All my statement did was elicit sobs of dispair. However, being the veteran of many mother/son wars I had just the solution...how about we have a popcicle. Sobbing stopped immediately.A request was made for an orange popcicle..all was well with the world...on a side note not only did "Rissa" get a ponytail and a butterfly barret, she too scored an orange popcicle.

Baby Keaton is now set loose on the world....just shy a couple of weeks from 10 months old...is now toddling around the living room. He is a rough and tumble boy he falls over all the toys (that I might add are the ones he has thrown from the toybox)and just picks himself up toddles off again..He tends to like to toddle over by the coffee table and end table where he has more then once found a stray cheese nip or two. He loves to have Grandma pull him in the wagon. He will ride in the wagon for HOURS! Our perfect evenings are long walks around the neighborhood and then we sit on my porch swing and sings songs and I swing him till he falls asleep and then we just swing on the porch in quiet..just Grandma and her little man.

Carissa spent the morning and afternoon with us last week....I love having a granddaughter! She will be 4 in January and she loves the mall with all her little heart. When I asked her if she wanted to go to the mall, her eyes lit up. I asked her what she wanted to buy from the mall and she says..."A Dress...a princess dress" well we could not find an exact princess dress but we did find a dress with polka dots and a cupcake which she loved...she also got 2 new pair of shoes, a pair of jeans, two new shirts, new DORA underwear (which as soon as her Dad came to pick up her up, she proudly lifted her dress and exclaimed "I got new Dora panties". Her father said she shouldn't show people her new panties, it would be a better idea just to TELL people she got new Dora panties. She also got some new barretts and some baby bling (major sequined bracelets). I think having a granddaughter is very bad on my Visa balance.

Tyson has started middle school. It seems just the other day he came into our lives. I still remember the first time I met him. His mother was dating my son and my son brought her over to our house on halloween with Tyson. They were standing in the yard talking and Ty was getting antsy (as he was only around 4 yrs old and four year olds don't like to stand around especially when they have a bucket for collecting candy.) I look at Tyson and say "Would you like me to walk you down our street while your Mom is talking?" He slipped his little hand in mine and said "Yes, please" and I loved him from that moment on. Now he is a middle schooler and doesn't hold my hand anymore but he still hugs me and tells me he loves me.

Death Run Training Update:
8.66 miles...slow and easy and quite enjoyable...could actually have gone another mile with no great distress. The morning was cool and we had a slight wind that kept us cool...My running buddy had to make a pit stop...the only pit stop was Burger King...I told him just our luck someone would see us going into Burger King and think we were going for the biscuits and gravy instead of doing our long run...if anyone saw us go into Burger King this morning...I swear the only thing we did was use the bathroom.

Biking
Last Sunday we road to Brookston and back...all country roads..total milage around 34 miles. We stopped at a nice little icecream shop and had some yummy icecream...I had blueberry waffle cone crunch...mmmmmm so good and the scoop was huge and only 1.75. However, we burned all the calories from our icecream off as we battled head on wind for the 16 mile trip back home. I might add it was also over 90 degrees that day and our ride started at 12:30 in the afternoon.
Next bike route will be to Linden to the Lindy Freeze...about a 40 mile route...who doesn't love a bike ride that involves icecream?

Girls Going Wild:
It is time for the annual Girls Weekend! St. Louis is our destination! The fathers are probably not as excited as we are cause they will be all on their own...well they got Grandpa backup and actually he is almost better then Grandma backup! Good Luck Guys!

Our Family is Nuts:
I have a wedding dress in my closet. It was suppose to be Kendra's then she changed her mind...she still got married...just did not wear this dress. I told her she should try to sell it and if she did she could use that money for our girls weekend. So she gets it out and she decides that Tasha (yes our skinny itty bitty little Tasha) should model it for the picture and Kendra would entitle her sale..."Wedding Dress...Must Sell...Lost Weight" So it is now listed on Craigs list. with a photo of Tasha swamped in layers of white fabric (no offense Kendra) we will probably get more requests on how did Tasha loose weight(this girl has never been fat a minute of her life...not even when pregnant with an almost 10 pound baby) then offers on the dress.

Over and out for now...time to refuel my jelly belly after this mornings run with some power food...okay I lie I am gonna have a pancake.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Watching my husband play with our grandchildren

Hearing my grandson, Adam say, "Love you Newma"

Holding my grandson, Keaton while he sleeps in my arms on the porch swing.

Having my granddaughter,Carissa, run toward me saying "Can I sit on your lap Grandma"

Having my 11 year old grandson, Tyson , hug me..because soon he will be at an age that he will not want to hug Grandma.

Hearing my Mom say "I worked really hard at the Y today"

Running in the early morning hours with my friends, while the rest of the world sleeps.

Biking Sunday afternoons on county roads.

The smell of a campfire.

New loaded music on my MP3 player.

Road Trips

Old country songs

The smell of leaves in the fall.

Fall Festivals

I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT

I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT I FORGOT HOW HARD IT WAS TO TRAIN FOR A HALF.
Last Friday I was checking out the calendar to see how many weeks before Christmas (I know I know it is a little insane) and discovered not only was it time to start listening to Christmas music (cause it takes a while to build myself up to my Christmas frenzy) but I have a half marathon in 14 weeks.EGADS I had not even begun to train! I have been taking lazy daisy plods around Lafayette with not a thought of plodding an inch more then 6 miles. Poor Jill almost fell over when her Garmin gave its little ting a ling for mile 6 and I stopped dead in my tracks.
This weekend Jeff agreed to accompany me on my Saturday plod of pain. As we started I casually asked if he was doing the half in November. He affirmed that yes he to would be participating in the 13 mile death shuffle. So once again (casually) I state "Well we better start training...oh yeah we gotta start today" So off we went on our pain of plod. 7 miles of ups and down ( I might add that right at the start we had hills).. in the humidity ( I should not complain because Runner Susan runs in the depths of Hell a/k/a Texas in the summer), and in the early morning with NO COFFEE (the world is an ugly brutual place without coffee), with legs that have not gone more then 6 miles in over a year (and stop instantly upon mile 6 all on their own), with my fat little belly (compliments of Magnifco Pizza), and a brain that has been conditioned to think of 6 miles as a "Long Run". So with all those things against me...you know its gonna be brutal...who knew that 1 tiny little mile would make such a big difference. Mile 7, I was crying on the inside and whining on the outside. Once again I was doubting my sanity...WHO IN THE WORLD DOES THIS FOR FUN...WHY AM I DOING THIS? IT HURTS!
I still don't know the answer to that. After all my family will love me whether I do a half marathon or not(my husband might even love me more if I don't cause then the housework MIGHT get done). It's not going to get me a promotion or raise at work...I am not going to earn a million dollars for it (okay not even one dollar)and it certainly (this has been proven in the past) will not make me look like Shakira. So why why why do I torture myself?
Perhaps I am trying to make myself suffer to pay back for the wrongs I have committed in my past life....like making my baby sister take a bite of the tomato worm (which I might add she has never forgoten and still randomly brings up..I am pretty sure she has NOT forgiven me)or perhaps it is the time I beat the little mouse to death that had the nerve to nest in my Halloween decorations ( I was pretty proud of myself that I was fast enough to chase it down and then KILL it...Mom if you reading this...know that IF the mouse had not crossed into my domain and was merely wondering around in the back yard then he would still be alive today)
So for my wrongs on Saturday I plodded 7 miles and then walked almost 2 miles. Sunday afternoon biked 25 miles with my Y friends and one mother of a Y friend (Chloe you ROCK)...
Result of Half Marathon Training Week One: if you have the following totals 17 miles plodding, walk 5 miles and bike 50 miles..do not eat Magnifco Pizza, do not indulge in Frosty consumption, do not repeatedly raid husband's stash of snicker bars, cookies and doughnuts then you will be rewarded with a loss of three pounds (despite eating lunch Saturday at Dog and Suds and having an honest to goodness rootbeer laden with sugar)

Family Update:

Adam: is doing his business in the potty....well most of his business...
Keaton: has two teeth and is cutting three more all at once...and he is still pretty happy...I think he is happy cause he knows the teeth mean COOKIES!
Denise: Needs poker intervention
The Slug: GOING TO THE Y AND WORKING ON BECOMING UNSLUGIFIED

Tales from the Fat Side

Vacation + Food= Slow Fat Kim
I am back from my vacation. Unfortunately my vacation consisted of much dining out which then results in my whining about how hard it is to run when one is carrying Wendys, Cici's Pizza, Pizza King, etc...around one's big old gut. Lucky for me I have running buddies that will run with me whether I am slow or slower.

I spent a long weekend at Brown County browsing thru stores where items were tagged $$+. I might add there were several bric a brac items that I swear I have seen on the Dollar tree shelf that were now sitting on the shelf of a rustic boutique for like a 200% markup. I guess cheap looking ceremic pineapple pitchers have become all the trend so they can be marked $29.00. Alas I have never been one of those homey woman that can take ceremic bric a brac, ivy and dried flowers and make a home look like a Better Homes and Gardens show place. The only thing I really really wanted was the doormat that says "Don't forget to wipe" but I wanted it for my bathroom...cause I am kinda lovin the bathroom humor... I also wanted to get my daughter the tee shirt that had a mother holding a screaming child, surrounded by overflowing laundry and a sink full of dishes that said "Life is Crap". I guess it is a good thing I have my husband because he keeps me from buying stuff like that. Yep Tacky is my middle name. Well all in all it was a good weekend. Returned home and spend the rest of my vacation doing "Camp Grandma". Movies, bowling, Monkey Joes...pizza, pizza, fast food...okay I guess it was not Brown County that made me fat...it was "Camp Grandma". More to follow.

Puke, Fall on the Ground or Keep on Plodding

This mornings run: HARD. I did not feel good. I could not decide which I was more inclined to do...puke or just throw myself down on the ground. Kris told me I could not throw myself on the ground because she was not, whether the scales are down or not(please see side bar weight ticker on blog), carrying my sorry butt back to the car...so I kept going..I had to walk a couple of times because I was sweating buckets, which felt to me like the nasty bacteria that is making me ill was making a hasty retreat from my unwilling host body. At one time I declared I was gonna "cut it short". To which Jill says "How about you finish the 6 and we will just slow it down." Because I am easily influenced by peer pressure I continued on. Now you all know about my mad passion for my caffine fix(actually dominates my mad passion for cookies). Me, lover of coffee, woman who would hand over her very last dollar for just sip of Joe, woman who would actually sign over her parental rights for a good cup of coffee (okay I admit when my kids were young I probably would have done that for absolutely nothing)ordered just a SMALL coffee after this mornings run...now that ladies and gentlemen is when you know Kimmie is actually sick and not slacking.

Spring Fling: Spring Fling is today..in just hours my yard will be filled with children running amuck as they gather their easter eggs. Before they get here I should probably do poop and scoop duty as the dog has also been running amuck in the yard. I don't think I will get high Grandma/Aunt marks if the children are coated with sticky candy and dog poo.

Have a great week all and for those of you that are fighting the battle...keep on fighting!

Missionary of Fatness

I am an obese woman. It does not matter if I have lost over 100 pounds. It does not matter that I am currently losing. Always inside is the obese woman struggling to emerge. This is not said in jest. Unless you have been obese you will never truely fathom the depth of the struggle that I and others face every day of our lives. People have said that overeating is not an addiction. That overeating is nothing more then weakness of will. Overeating, in my case, is not just weakness of will. It is a fullblown addiction. There are days when I feel crazed with the need to eat. Not just eat a cookie or two, but to eat till excess, eat till most "normal" people would be puking their guts out. When I get to the "puking level" I feel good. I feel satisfied. I feel like a junkie who has long last gotten their fix. I read on another blog a saying that is so very true: "Smokers can keep their tiger in the cage, Overeaters have to take their tigers out of the cage three times a day" My tiger is currently on a leash when I take it out of it's cage. But every single day of my life I fear that MY tiger will again rip loose of it's leash and devour everything within it's sight and smell.
When I pass an extremely obese person. I want to cry. I want to rush to their side and hold them and tell them that it is okay. That there ARE others that know their struggle.
Currently I am working with a woman that is in the midst of the battle. I ache for her because I know she struggles every single day and there is absolutely nothing I can do for her other then to walk by her side as she begin the battle of obesity.
My friend Jill, who well knows my struggles, is the one who runs by my side to help me in my battle. Every day I thank God for my friends that walk and run by my side!Most of these people are soldiers...they fight the battle too.

I guess the point of this entire rambling paragraph is for those who have never been "Obese" to revisit your thoughts on the obese. If you pass a person on the street that is large...please don't assume that they are just "fat, lazy and lack self control" Please please understand that these people are in emotional AND physical pain.

My goal in life is to reach out to as many people as I can. To give them hope to not let them give up...

What It Really Means

Said: It will be nice to run along the river.
What it really means: Maybe If I give her something new to look at she will stop whining about how this is going to kill her.

Said: I am really glad I came.
What it really means: This beats scrubbing out the toilet.

Said: Let's do 5 1/2 since we are feeling good.
What it Really Means: We're gonna do 6. I don't care if you feel like puking.

Said: Did you hear what I said?
What it Really Means: Hey I better get her to talk I think she is
blacking out.

Said: Kimmie you rock!
What it really means: I am really glad you didn't puke.

Said: Have a good today Kimmie!
What it Really Means: DO NOT EAT THREE BOXES OF THIN MINTS!

Said: See you next week
What it Really Means: I guess the toilet isn't gonna get cleaned next weekend either.

Fun Factor: 1000% (the mud added about 999% of the fun)

Honesty---Its not for the Weak

Honesty is hard. Honesty is brutally. After almost a year of sludging thru plods I FINALLY ADMITTED IT. I, an already slow plodder, became EVEN MORE SLOW. Yes my pre mini injury started the ball rolling but now I am slow because I became a PUDGE! Please note on my side bar my accountablity ticker. I have rededicated myself to weight loss. No more weekend meals dining out. No more sneak away lunch time WHINE&DINES with my sister. No more Sara Lee in my freezer. And worse of all NO MORE NEVER ENDING SUPPLY OF COOKIES ( I might add I have made this declaration during my favorite time of year...GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME). I am allowed out to eat once every other week. That is a time that is looked upon with much anticipation, drooling and lustfully thoughts about decadent desserts. Several weeks ago my husband had told me he accepted a lunch invitation from one of the men at church. I was horrified, not because I don't like the man and his wife, because they are kind and funny people, but because this was not my designated week to eat out! I told my husband, "I can't do this because it is NOT the week for my dining out" My poor husband protests that he already accepted.I being the unyeilding, bossy woman that I am respond with "We will just have to uninvite ourselves" Fortunately for me I had just been talking to the gentleman's wife about my weight loss goals and my weight loss plan. When her husband told her we would all be going to lunch she told him we would be rescheduling because she knew it was not on my week to eat out. How can you not love a woman like that! At any rate, crisis was averted....that is until the weekend arrived and I realized that if I was dining with people that I don't know all that well that I would have to EAT POLITE LIKE A LADY. I complained and whined. I carried on like the world had come to an end (complete with nashing of teeth and thrashing of the head). I told my husband that "I DID NOT WANT TO EAT MY SPECIAL MEAL WITH PEOPLE I HAD TO BE POLITE WITH" I tell you I torture the poor man with my insanity. I was crazed at the thought thought of chewing each piece of food 100 times, of not being to order the 16 ounce big piece o' giant meat and having to order the ladies 6 ounce bit o meat. I was in tears at the thought of not being able to unhinge my jaw and devouring my steak in one bite. No desset. No rolls. No emptying the bucket of peanuts. Just polite lady like nibbles...I must say the story ends well. These people are not what I would call big eaters but they ordered an appetizer and seemed to quite enjoy it. While they did order a salad for dinner (I never really understand people that do this) they ATE EVERY BITE, which increased my comfort level by like a 1000%. There is nothing worse then eating dinner with someone who orders a salad and leaves half of it because THEY ARE STUFFED!So all in all my special treat was not quite the lost experience I thought it would be. However, next weekend is my dining out week and I making sure I go with someone from my family!

Grandchildren: Last weekend Jerry and were able to keep not 1, not 2, not 3 but all 4 of our beautiful grandchildren. That is a 3month old, a 2 year old, 3 year old and 11 year old. I got to say Jerry and I still have it! We managed all 4 children! However, Grandma refused to cook dinner and sent Grandpa for a McDonald's run.

MY SLACKER NEW WORKOUT BUDDY: My daughter and I have made an agreement to lose at least 25 pounds by the last day of spring. This will be done thru food control and EXERCISE. So my daughter somewhat hesitantly agrees to accompany me to the gym. Our first workout was successful. She worked hard and except for the comment of "Why can't I just have Lipo instead of doing this crap" seemed motiviated. The second workout she worked hard but was much more vocal in her dislike of sweating, exercise and again says "WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE LIPO". The third scheduled workout I have to call her and tell her I have to work late and will not be able to make it. She does not volunteer to go alone. She says good she did not feel like going anyway. I, one not to be distracted from my goal, quickly schedule our fourth workout...Saturday at 8:15. The response was "8:15 in the morning?" I should have known that things weren't going to go well after that remark. I affirm that yes that would be 8:15 AM. She agrees because 8:15 a.m does not feel so early at 7:00 at night when you are being asked. So the next morning my workout buddy strolls into the Y at 8:30 AM and declares it to be much to early to exercise and why do we have to do this at 8:15 in the morning. I smile and point out that it is not 8:15 it is now 8:30 a.m and say "cause you wanna go to your husband's highschool reunion". She responds by saying she has changed her mind and hubby can go by himself. My workout buddy begins the process of "Break the Trainer's Spirit" by walking on the treadmill slower then a 110 year old woman. As, I am nothing but persistant, I remove her from the treadmill and put her on the Precor. This was no more effective then the treadmill as she was using the console as a headrest. Okay maybe this isn't the week for cardio...so we do 15 minutes on the Precor in a mostly prone position and then hit the floor for a killer ab workout, or at least what I planned to be a killer Ab workout. Kendra likes the mats. She likes the mats for napping and stretching out on. Kendra does not like killer AB work in the morning anymore then she likes Cardio. Dejected I dismiss her from her workout. I have failed in my attempt to be a "Jillian". Kendra will be working out this weekend. I will give her a reprieve and she can do Saturday at 9:30. Surely 9:30 a.m. cannot be declared as "the middle of the night". Then as a special treat I will take her to the gym after I get off work at a "decent time". She will then pay a heavy price for the slacker workout she gave me on Saturday!

Grandpa Paparazzi Strikes Again

Cookie Withdrawl, Pants that Bind and Shirts that Gap

1,000,000 christmas cookies later and I am back to the world o'blog.

The result of consuming unlimited Christmas cookies is:

A) Cookie withdrawl that is way worse then any drug withdrawl. I want to throw myself down on the ground in a fit of hysteria as my body and mind scream for cookies. My mind cannot be tricked by giving it a cracker...it knows...it knows...

B) Pants that can only be fastened by an elaborate process of laying down on the bed, taking a BIG deep breath, holding holding holding, pulling pulling pulling...ahhhhh snapped...call for someone to help pull me upright...no one answers my plea for help...have to rock back and forth like a flipped Turtle till I manage to flip to my stomach, where I then use my awesome upper body strength to push myself up and off the bed. There is no bending during the first few weeks of cookie recovery, on the plus side my posture looks excellent from the inability to bed at the waist.

C)Shirts that now expose my bra. It was a cool look at 20...at 46 not so much.

What is the solution to over indulgence of cookies?
PLODDING, PLODDING AND MORE PLODDING.

Upon calculation of cookie calories consumed from the day before Thanksgiving to the 5th of January it has been determined that I would have to run to California, back home again and then down to Florida and back in order to break even.

Who you might ask would plod with a crazed with withdrawal cookie addict, none other then my Y friends who have gone with me thru thick and thin..no pun intended. Thanks to Jill who will run with me on Saturday when it is cold and icy and slippery, uncomplaining as we run at a snail's pace when she can run swift as a deer. Thanks to Jeff who will put aside his own training goals to run slowly with Kim cause the cookies are weighing her down. Thanks to Tim Slick who will run with Kim during the midweek slump, cause if she had to do it on her own...she wouldn't. So what a blessed girl cause I have an awesome Y family and an awesome biological family...

Things that are great about my family

1) I don't have to clean my house for them...cause none of them like to clean either

2)They all love food too, so they don't stare at me in horror when I down a cookie tray for five by myself. They actually are quite impressed.

3)They think it is funny when I eat to the point that I am rolling on the couch clutching my stomach.

4)Nobody minds that on account of our stupidness that it takes us an entire afternoon to play a Trivia game...however we do really good at cartoon, fast food and bodily function categories.

5)The adults like toys as much as the kids.

6)Eveyone has become a musical genius thanks to guitar hero and rock band...I dare the drummer of Def Lepard to challenge anyone in our family to a drum off.

7) When some of the family members get to take a trip to Vegas the others are not resentful and jealous.

8)Even if there was some family member who might be a teeny bit resentful and a tiny bit jealous cause they are not going to get to go to Vegas to see Stars of faded glory strut their stuff on stage,(not to be named cause I don't wanna get sued by faded stars) they will still watch their most adorable sweet grandson while the others go off for a funfilled weekend.

9)Family members that go away on funfilled trips leaving the not resentful and not jealous family members home ALWAYS remember to bring a little something home for those not resentful not jealous family members.

10)If someone in the family wins a million dollars at the casino they always pay off the other family members mortgages.



A Song of Christmas Gluttony:


On the first day of Christmas Kim began her feast by consuming an entire cheese ball.

On the Second day of Christmas Kim continues to feast swallowing a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Third day of Christmas Kim continues to feast devouring a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball

On the Fourth day of Chistmas Kim continues to feast eating a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Fifth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast nibbling thru a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Sixth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by chowing down a 5 lb Honey Spiral Ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Seventh day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by ingesting a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Eighth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by inhaling a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Ninth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, her pants will not fasten but she still munches thru a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the tenth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, shirt buttons a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still gobbles down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the eleventh day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, a double chin a showing, shirt buttons are a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still wolfs down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the twelth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, plodding turn to walkin, a double chin a showing, shirt buttons are a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still wolfs down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Fifth day of the New Year Kim no longer feasts, walking turns to plodding, double chin a fading, shirt buttons not a poppin, pants soon to fasten, mixed nuts to no nuts, pumpkin pie to yogurt, honey ham to Turkey, puppy chow to Special K, fannie mae to sugar free jello , cookie platter to veggie platter, pecan pie to sugar free pudding and alas cheese ball to fat free, milk free artificial cheese......

CLEANING HOUSE ROCKS!!!!!

As most people are well aware I do not like to clean. My cleaning episodes are few and far between and usually happen when the weather gets cold. Thank goodness I have a husband that adores to clean. Oh my how I prattle..well anyway I had a cleaning episode yesterday morning since it was my rest day from working out. I got up and started mopping floors, then the I decided maybe I should clean out my cabinets (as I am injured by falling greenbeans every time I open the door). My cabinets looked so good that I started looking around and what do you know there is dust...dust on my bric a brac. So I dust and what do I come across M&Ms! Happy Day Happy Day CLEANING IS AWESOME AND I HAVE BEEN GIFTED WITH A PACK OF M&MS FOR MY TROUBLES. My husband sees me with the M&Ms clutched in my greedy fat little hand and he says "Hey those are mine". Well I knew that in fact that they were originally purchased by me so Adam and I could have a little snack and Jerry had TAKEN THEM AWAY FROM US BECAUSE "NEITHER OF YOU NEED TO BE EATING CANDY" I never saw them again until Saturday morning. His declaration of ownership had absolutely no impact on me as I tilted back my head and swallowed half a bag of M&Ms at once. So today I decide to clean my closet, not because I thought there would be candy but because it really was kinda messy and guess what...I FOUND THREE WHOLE BAGS OF CANDY. CLEANING HOUSE ROCKS! I was a good girl today and dutifully turned over to the Candy Marshal so he could dispense with it.

Baby Keaton: Baby Keaton is a sweetie. However Baby Keaton played the ultimate male trick...have a hissy fit in hopes of discouraging Mommy from attending the shopping expedition with Grandma and Aunt Kendra. Keaton did not win this battle of wills...Mommy 1... Keaton probaby 200. Keaton was happy when Grandma and Aunt Kendra cuddled him close and walked him through the mall. Keaton was happy when he went to Pepes. Keaton probabaly would have been really happy if he got to eat EL POPO..but Mommy only let him have bottled breast milk. Keaton is going to have Grandma time on Wednesday. Keaton, Grandma and Grandpa...look for lots of pictures.
KEATONS FIRST VISIT TO GRANDMA AND GRANDPAS HOUSE PRE MALL

GRANDMA LOVES HER LITTLE GUY


Adam: Adam got to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa last night. After shopping Kendra and Grandma stopped by to pick him up. He was all Papaw Papaw EVEN though it was Grandma's idea to pick him up and spend time with him. Grandma rates second to Grandpa until it is time to be pulled in the wagon or brush his teeth or go to bed...THEN it is Mamaw Mamaw. Adam went shopping and was actually very good. He found a Santa hat that we had to buy and he wore it thru the Dollar Store and thru Payless and then all morning.
EVEN SANTA'S ELVES LIKE TO MAKE PANCAKES

UP DOWN REPEAT

So in my pursuit of fastness...Hill Repeats were ordered.
All I can say is BLECK! It was cold cold cold and DARK and did I say COLD? I was the first one at the hill so I thought what the heck I am slower then the others (okay WAY SLOWER) so I started without them. Up the hill this chubby girl went. Wow this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then the others arrived...OH I AM SUPPOSE TO GO UP THE HILL FASTER THEN I USUALLY PLOD? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! So I increased my pace and then...IT DID FEEL AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
Over up the hill down the the hill 4 3/4 times. I was going to stop at 3 3/4 but as you know I am easily influenced by peer pressure (thank goodness my friends just run and don't drink at bars all night)so I finished! Thanks to Jeff and Russ for encourageing me up and over the hill!
Monday and Tuesday food has been good! I love the weekdays. I can stay on program...the weekends...well Gluttenous Kim comes out to play. Evil Starbucks lures me with Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Cookies shriek my name and my debit cards screams use me use me take me out to lunch.
Workout Schedule this Week"
Monday: 2miles slow run, Ab work
Tuesday: Hill work 45 minutes, Upper Body Lifting
Wednesday: 2 miles Walk/Run (with the elusive Tom Slick no less)
Thursday: 5 mile climate Run
Friday: Spinning/Power Hour
Saturday: Off
Sunday: 3 mile run

Newly Found Knowlege:
I love NERDS. My house has been emptied of trick or treat candy. Well it probably is still in the house but my husband hid it well enough that I could not find it. So Sunday I NEEDED CANDY BAD. I looked around nothing but crappy NERDS. In the past I have never had a desire to eat this totally kid candy but hey I was desperate, so I opened up a box and took a mouthful...YUM! Grape and Strawberry NERDS are yummy! I went to get some more and the bag of NERDS is now missing. Husband saw that I was loving the NERDS and made them go away...I was kinda glad but mostly sad....

Being Grandparents is Great Fun

Just Like Grandma!



Eventually he did share the crackers.




Only the Coolest Grandpa's Play with Play Doh.

Pssst...my Grandpa is BOOOORRRRING

He doesn't want breast milk. He wants cookies.

Why I do the things I Do

As I stared into the mirror, I might add with a look of disgust and horror, I asked myself "Why after 4 years of plodding and lifting do I not yet look like Shakira?" Then I asked myself,"Since I don't look like Shakira WHY AM I STILL DOING THIS?" So as I am the master list maker a list was made:

Why I Keep Plodding Despite Not Looking Anymore Like Shakira Then When I First Began:
1. I have the most awesome climate run friends in world and would miss them terribly if I stopped going.(For those of you unfamiliar with what a climate run is. It is running at an insanely early time in the morning 4:45 a.m.no matter what the weather is like.)
2. I really really really like cookies.
3. I evidently love oxygen deprivation and pain running throughout my body.
4.It is better then tequila for making you forget your problems.
5. Because all the cool kids do it.

Okay after reviewing my list I went back an gazed into the mirror of horror and guess what....I think I might have been mistaken... my right calf might have started to slightly have a Shakira like shape...so the plodding resumes. I guess I better add number 6 to my list
6. I am an eternal optimist.

Updates:

After talking to my climate run friend Jeff, it has been determined that I need speedwork. LOTS OF SPEEDWORK (as you know I am still traumatized by knowing that I run slower then an undernourished kitten) so a review follows of Tuesday's speedwork:

Speed Work a/k/a Hurt Real Bad Work

After much sloughing off due to my pre mini injury I have decided that slow plodding Kim needs to be banished forever more. So dutifully I appeared at Jeff's Tuesday morning speed workout. What I did can not truely be described as Speed Work but is more aptly described as "Less Slow Workout" What a nice surprise to see the happy smiling faces of Leo, Danna and Russ! I might add that I am the ONLY one that needs speed work so the fact that 4 of my friends were in attendance made me get kinda weepy.

Overheard at that Tuesday morning workout:
Kim "My heartrate is too high I need to walk"
Leo "Get going your heart is not going to explode" (Leo NEVER feels
sorry for me, despite my great physical discomfort and agony)

Russ: "This reminds me of phys ed class in highschool"
Jeff: "Why? Did you run with fat kids then too" (Okay this remark
made me laugh so hard I really thought my heart was going to explode!)

Kim: "I feel like the hounds of hell are behind me."
Russ: "Thats right! Get Going"

Jeff: "Come on Kimmie Push!"
Kim "GAAAAAASP OKAAAAAAY"

Kim: "Can you stop by my house on the way to take me to the hospital
so I can put my crockpot on low"

Kim: "Tell my family I always loved them"

Jeff: "Good Job Kimmie! (a comment very much appreciated by winded and tired Kim)

Danna: "I promise you that hills will make you faster"

So we finished and the next speedwork will take place on Tuesay at the Hill of Hell (which is at the opposite end of town from Puke Mountain).

Earlier I referred to my being the master list maker. This is an absolutely true fact, not like when I refer to myself as Master of All that is Around Me.
I love to make lists. I make list of the lists I need to make. I put things on my list that I do as routine just so I can cross them off ex..brush teeth. I might add that seldom are my lists ever completed but that does not stop me. Somethings I have had on my lists for years...ex clean out laundry room closet...take children's precious child hood memories in a box and drop them off on their porches. But my favorite list of all is "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" It starts off with items I have been told they want and items I think they actually need in regular font. As I purchase the items I then bold the typeface. When the items are wrapped the get changed to bold red typeface. Oh how I love love love my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" I then try to hide my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" but I do belive my family violates my privacy and READS my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" This year I have outsmarted them allbecause I have a decoy "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST". More fun for me because I got to make yet another list.

Well it is time to plod so off I go for yet another round of oxygen deprivation and pain runnning throughout my body!

**Due to the early time..correct grammer, puncuation and spelling is optional***

AND THE MOMENT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!

Keaton James Kaufman 9.8 ounce 22 inches long. Grandma has a future Purdue Boilermaker lineman!
Keaton has the softest blackest hair, rosy cheeks and looks just like his Daddy.
Tasha had to work really really hard to bring her big boy into the world!
It was a surprise that Tasha had him on Tuesday because Monday's doctor appointment she was told nothing was going on and Sunday she would go into the hospital to be induced. My heart went out to poor Tasha because she is such a little thing to be carrying such a big baby...


So I say "why don't you come over for dinner" Meatloaf, homemade mashed pototoes, greenbeans, cornbread muffins and apple crisp for dessert..ummm a meal fit for a mother to be. The next morning Tasha is in labor in the hospital...
Could: Grandma have slipped labor inducing drugs into her daughter in laws meatloaf? Could Baby Keaton have liked dinner so much that he decided not to miss another one of Grandma's home cooked meals and so worked to be born by dinner time the next day? hmmmm?

Spooktacular Evenings

Pre Halloween Fun










Trick or Treat night arrives!
Vampire, Princess and Ballerina OH MY!



Overheard on Trick or Treat Night:
"I want allore" (Adam language for candy)
"I want allore NOW" spoken by Adam even louder
"Can you pull me in the wagon?" asked by 6 year old Abby.
"Absolutely not...your legs aren't broken" spoken by Grandma Kim who refused to pull 3 children in the wagon.
"That was very stressful and I even took a Xanax" Spoken by Amanda a new mommy who has never taken mulitple children trick or treating.
"I still hate trick or treat night" spoken by Grandma Denise who has 24 years of trick or experience with mulitple children
"I think I have gummy bears stuck in my hair can somebody pick them out?" Grandma Kim after carrying Adam on her shoulders while he was eating gummybears (fyi no one offered)
"Yeah that was just as fun as I remembered" Grandma Kim who has 27 years of trick or treat experience with mulitple children.

New Information:
The rich mommies do not take their children trick or treating...their nannys take them...Rich mommies sit on the porch and sip wine while handing out candy.

Halloween Fun

October 24 was Grandma's Craft and Cookie Night!
Started out with painting...2,3, 5 and 6 and 10 yr olds with paint brushes...I am sure you can imagine the fun that was had!

Frosting Cookies: Grandma hands out plain sugar cookies...the plan was to frost and sprinkle..as soon as I put them on the plate they were having bites taken out them...we decorated them anyway cause Grandma's don't care about germs.

Games were played. 2 year olds do not know how to take turns.
5 and 6 year olds have no patience for 2 years olds that do not know how to take turns.

Empty Nest Compensation

I thought when children grew up and left home that women have empty nest syndrome and pace around sobbing and wailing for their "lost" children. I have yet to wail and the only time I sob is when I am trying to plod up 4th street hill...okay ANY hill. I also thought they had lots of free time in which they could lay around watching Oprah and Dr. Phil. Why don't I have time for Oprah and Dr. Phil? Is it because I don't use my time wisely or is it because my life actually is busy? It just seems like I have less time then ever despite having no children at home. But I have to say I am lovin' every minute of my life!
September activies: Earl Park Festival, Two Birthday Parties, Brookston Apple Popcorn Festival, One Baby Shower hosted by me and my very creative daughter, Trip to the Feast of the Hunters Moon...I guess I was kinda busy...

What the cool kids have at their birthday parties:



Gee Mom why didn't I get one of those. I don't even think I got a pony!

The birthday boy:


When asked if he had licked the cake he replied "No" but I think the proof is in the picture.

Keaton and His Mommy at Keaton's Baby Shower:



Kendra and I hosted the party:
Chicken Salad and Turkey Croissants, Chips, Fresh Strawberries, Grapes and Pineapple with Cream Cheese Fruit dip, Pasta Salad, Nuts and Mints, Punch...complete with baby ducks afloatin' and Cake..we passed on the traditional baby shower cake decorations and went for curious George as Keaton's bedroom is done in Curious George.



Adam already violating his cousin's possessions:


Who Knew a Bomb Pop could dye a child blue?


October is here! What ever do I do in the month of October?
Birthday party for my favorite son in law..yes he is my only son in law but he would be my favorite even if I had more. Annual Trek to the Covered Bridge Festival was this weekend. I was accompanied by one daughter and one very very pregnant daughter in law. BIG KUDOs to the woman who is nine months pregnant and walked the hills of Mansfield without even one complaint! We were hoping to walk Keaton out of her but he is one stubborn boy and did not even try to come out...
Upcoming Events: October 24, Halloween Craft and Cookie Night...a night of Halloween fun and games at Grandma and Grandpa's house....dinner will be served for both the young and the old...I guess they could even decorate a cookie with the kids.

October 25 65 mile bike ride with friends! Yeah I have not had a long ride since September and I am needing it...Next year I have my eye on "The Bucket Ride" 120 miles of fun!

October 31: Trick or Treat night...Pot of Chili on the Stove for those that need nourishment before doing the trick or treat trek.

Fitness Update:
I am much honored to have been picked as a "Coach" for the better weigh in contest at the Y. Who would ever think that someone would look to me as a role model?

Running: Wooooo HOOOOOOOO I plodded 5 miles without stopping to walk AND that included 4th Street hill a/k/a Puke Mountain and 9th street...which is only rated with a 25% puke factor. It's been a long time coming...my knee did not start to tug until mile 4..so that is an improvement. Usually mile 3 it starts in. The company was great so it took my mind off the fact that I CANNOT BREATHE AND AM PRETTY SURE I AM IN THE THROES OF DEATH during my plods.

Biking: So sad no biking..no time...sob sob can't wait till October 25!

Now for the more insightful part of my post. Words of Wisdom or Encourgement I have been told:

What doesn't make you stonger will just hurt you real bad

You better eat your pie now cause there won't be any left later ( I piece of advice I used often and it made me fat!)

Waa get going (spoken by Jill when I told her I was tired and could not breath)

The first mile is the hardest. ( I am pretty sure I still don't believe this)

Keep your old car cause at least you know what is wrong with it You buy another used car and you might get even worse problems. (My father's analogy on marriage and divorce)

Don't forget to go the bathroom before we leave cause it's a long ride.(Told to me by my Grandson Ty when he was 3 yrs old before we left to go to a festival)

Quit Whining (spoken to me by everybody I have ever plodded with..oh and my huband a zillion times)

A Tail of Humiliation

Climate Run Thursday September 11, 2008
Attendees: Several really FAST people, One very PATIENT person and one REALLY slow person

4:45 a.m. and all the world sleeps except for the insane. What, you
might ask, do insane people do at 4:45 a.m? They do the CLIMATE run.

Off they go... the fast ones hurl off into the darkness, Kim reminds
Jeff that last Thursday he vowed to stay by her side as Leo cannot be at the climate run this Thursday. She also advises Jeff that due to the incredible pain in her back side that she will be going slower then her usual slow but she expects him to still be a man of his word and stay with her despite the the slow motion plod.

Why is Kim slower then slow? Because she thought it would be a really good idea on Wed. to plod for 3.5 miles and then do lunges from one end of her street to the other. Kim now cannot sit or walk without immense pain and discomfort. (It might be noted that if one does lunges in public then one will be gawked at).

Kim and Jeff plod side by side. Jeff does not complain about the
snails pace that Kim is plodding. They come to Leo's house. Jeff and Kim contemplate banging on Leo's door to give him one last chance to attend the climate run. Kim thinks it is an awesome idea because she knows he has coffee...good coffee...Their better judgment prevails (cause they wanna live) and they speed past Leo's house...okay PLOD past Leo's house. Kim is sad because she has not yet had coffee. The world is an ugly brutal cold place without coffee. Kim cannot exist in a world without coffee.

Kim tried to plod without her IT Band. Kim's knee was not in agreement with this. Kim's knee swears it hates her and will make her suffer.Kim promises her knee if it will just make it thru the route she will buy it a brand new IT Band..maybe one with sparkles and sequins....

Jeff and Kim are chased by a Wolf...okay it was a HUGE dog...okay it was a sorta of medium dog...but it had a really big bark. The owner half heartedly called his wild beast back. The wild beast totally ignored his owner and continued to chase after Kim and Jeff, probably trying to determine which one would be the meatest. The wild beast finally slinks off and Kim and Jeff are free to plod without fear.

It seems unlikely that Kim and Jeff would have yet a second encounter with a vicious animal...but yet....Kim and Jeff are chased by a Mountain Lion....okay okay it was not a mountain lion...it was HUGE FELINE...okay I cann't lie it was a kitten. A kitten that insisted on following Kim and Jeff all the way down Lafayette Drive to the Jeff Square parking lot. Kim shoo shoos the kitten. She picks it up and turns it around hoping it will go back the other direction. The kitten loves Kim and Jeff. Jeff tells Kim to take it home with her. Kim says her dog will eat the kitten (as her dog has a past history of eating cats) and besides she could not get it home as she rode her bike to the Y. Kim tells Jeff to take it home. Jeff says NO NO NO. She tells him perhaps he could take it home and give it to his brother as a present. Jeff is skeptical that giving a kitten as a present is a good idea. Kim suggest taking it back to the Y and giving it to Kris as a
token of their appreciation for all her hard work. Ultimate Kim and
Jeff decide the kitten must be left behind. They plod a little faster in hopes of losing the kitten. It was humiliating. Kim cannot outpace a kitten.

Kim has learned a few things on this climate run:
Plodding without coffee has a -1000 fun factor
Knee pain will not subside by promising her knee "knee bling"
A dog will not eat her because she is to fatty and not meaty enough.
She cannot run faster then an undernourished kitten.