An Afternoon Mishap or How Kim Lost Her Pants

I am a proud YMCA member and will remain one and will still faithfully attend my morning workouts because I love my Y friends tremendously and the thought of never seeing them...well that just ain't gonna happen. However, when the gentlemen came from City Fit Health Club to do a presentation I fell hard.....my gosh a gym right across the street from my office...oh the fun it will be going on my lunch break to do a little lifting or walk on the treadmill (yeah yeah I know I complain about the treadmill all the time) or even if I so desire, which I do not, tanning. The thought of lifting on my lunch break was quite enticing and with added lure of getting a corporate rate..well...this girl she signed on the dotted line. So off I go today on my lunch break, giddy at the thought of getting a lift in. I already had my gym shorts on under my dress slacks ( some pants I can't do that with because they are full of Kim, but these are baggy so I can do this). Had my athletic socks on underneath my trousers socks (this all in an effort to save the "dressing time")Before I went over there I slipped into my hog jog shirt (because you know every chubby woman should have tee shirt with a giant hog on the front) and scurried over to the gym. The desk offered me a towel and a key for the locker of which I took the towel and declined the key with an arrogant wave of my hand. I run into the locker room, ripped off my dress slacks (so quick it would have made wonderwoman jealous) and ta da I am ready for the gym. Now because I did not want to mess with unlocking and opening a locker I thought I will just toss my dress slacks on top of the lockers. I gave a cocky little toss and up up up go my slacks to hit the side of the wall and slither down the gaping hole that drops dead down to the ground from the top of the 6 foot + locker... a gaping hole, a black abyss of which there is no entry...a gaping hole in which my pants can never be retreived. I said a few words (which I then had to promptly ask forgiveness for) and then called my husband to ask him to please bring me a pair of pants so I can go back to the office. My co-workers thought this story to be hilarious and when I left work to go to my fitness evaluation tonight(of which more details follow below) I was reminded to A) don't lose track of my pants, B) Perhaps I should keep my pants on so I don't lose them or C)Maybe I should take an extra pair of pants just in case I lose another pair. sigh this could only happen to me....

Fitness Evaluation: 26% body fat which I was informed was not too bad considering my history. I am getting a new lifting program which is to reduce my body fat by 4% and my weight by 15 pounds in the next 12 weeks. It is ironic because a thin woman I know that goes to City Fit has 30% body fat. Of course he said my worse area was my stomach...gee I never would have guessed that. Along with the lifting program I was advised that I could not eat like a pig on Saturday. However, I could have Sunday as a "little cheat day" does little mean I can eat a pie or a piece of pie...or just smell the pie...hmmm I guess I will find out at my next meeting which is next Monday evening.

Questions I Ponder.....
1) Why some days can I run 3 miles and feel awesome and then some days I feel like I am being tortured to death and my heart is in emminent peril of exploding?
2) Why do other people get to eat whatever the heck they want ALL the time and I can't even eat one cookie (okay 12 cookies) without it showing up on my gut in 20 minutes or less?
3)Why do they try to trick me into thinking the Key Lime Pie yogurt will really taste like Key Lime Pie...one of these days the yogurt people or going to push some chubby middle aged woman over the edge with their deceptive advertising.
4) Why will Fanny May not stop emailing me bogos when she knows I am fat?
5)Is it normal to have Marco's Pizza on speed dial and to have Dominoes Pizza and Pizza King's telephone number memorized?
6)Am I a mean Grandma to hide the gold fish crackers from my grandson so I don't have to share them?
7)Will my new trainer be able to make me look like Shakira? If he doesn't I swear to you he is fired....
8)Should I dump my current friends and go to the nursing home to find new ones so I can be "The Fast One"?
9) Am I the only one in Power Hour that feels like Julie is trying to kill us?
10) Why am I so easily influenced by peer pressure? Yes mom I probably would jump off the bridge if Jill did.

Okay the ramblings of Kim has now drawn to a close. It is now time for me to go to bed and dream sweet dreams of my future 1/2 marathon(of which is at this time is undetermined but I am looking for one in October)as I visulize myself cheerfully plodding the last two miles without an ounce of pain or agony, a huge smile on my face as I run...no lope gracefully thru the last two mile...okay I told you it was a dream....