EVERYONE DO THE BROKEN KNEE SHUFFLE

I am back on the road again. At a shuffle but I am out on the road. Last week I put in a 2 and a 2 1/2 mile walk/run. Walk a minute/Run a minute. I felt every single piece of junk food I have stuffed down my throat over the past 5 weeks (you know healing the knee comfort food...cookies, icecream, gummy bears, more cookies, more cookies...)As I ran my belly shook and shimmied all over the place. My butt cheeks were bouncing around like out of control super balls. (How in the world do things become so loose in 5 weeks?)My lungs would not inflate. My brain was screaming for coffee. My knee was aching and would only consent to partially bending and my calf was sending shooting pains up thru my skull. All in all I was miserable every minute..in a good kinda way.
Todays 3 1/2 mile was much better. I plodded more and walked much less. My lungs began to slightly remember that they are suppose to inflate. My knee was slightly more cooperative. However, my calf was not so willing to cave to my will and kept sending twinges of pain to my brain, which in turn sent my brain into a hysterical whining fit for coffee and a big apple bagle with veggie light cream cheese (okay 5 bagals)(okay okay I lie cookies it wanted cookies lots and lots of cookies...with coffee). On a scale of 1-10 the enjoyablity factor for this morning was a solid 4 unlike last week when the average enjoyablity of my two runs was a solid -100.

Wanted: Patient Person that does not care about speed or style to accompany one recovering plodder on recovery plods. Must be willing to walk when the screams of pain become loud enough to wake the dead. Will need to have cash and/or debit card for emergency coffee situations. Must have the ablity to decipher grunts, tolerate excessive amounts of whining, appear interested by random chatter, and to warn of approaching traffic. Experience in turning green traffic lights red is preferred. Please apply in person at the Y weight room ask for Teacup...Teacup is an equal opportunity employer...Paid at the end of each plod in Gratitude.