This mornings run: HARD. I did not feel good. I could not decide which I was more inclined to do...puke or just throw myself down on the ground. Kris told me I could not throw myself on the ground because she was not, whether the scales are down or not(please see side bar weight ticker on blog), carrying my sorry butt back to the car...so I kept going..I had to walk a couple of times because I was sweating buckets, which felt to me like the nasty bacteria that is making me ill was making a hasty retreat from my unwilling host body. At one time I declared I was gonna "cut it short". To which Jill says "How about you finish the 6 and we will just slow it down." Because I am easily influenced by peer pressure I continued on. Now you all know about my mad passion for my caffine fix(actually dominates my mad passion for cookies). Me, lover of coffee, woman who would hand over her very last dollar for just sip of Joe, woman who would actually sign over her parental rights for a good cup of coffee (okay I admit when my kids were young I probably would have done that for absolutely nothing)ordered just a SMALL coffee after this mornings run...now that ladies and gentlemen is when you know Kimmie is actually sick and not slacking.
Spring Fling: Spring Fling is today..in just hours my yard will be filled with children running amuck as they gather their easter eggs. Before they get here I should probably do poop and scoop duty as the dog has also been running amuck in the yard. I don't think I will get high Grandma/Aunt marks if the children are coated with sticky candy and dog poo.
Have a great week all and for those of you that are fighting the battle...keep on fighting!
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Missionary of Fatness
I am an obese woman. It does not matter if I have lost over 100 pounds. It does not matter that I am currently losing. Always inside is the obese woman struggling to emerge. This is not said in jest. Unless you have been obese you will never truely fathom the depth of the struggle that I and others face every day of our lives. People have said that overeating is not an addiction. That overeating is nothing more then weakness of will. Overeating, in my case, is not just weakness of will. It is a fullblown addiction. There are days when I feel crazed with the need to eat. Not just eat a cookie or two, but to eat till excess, eat till most "normal" people would be puking their guts out. When I get to the "puking level" I feel good. I feel satisfied. I feel like a junkie who has long last gotten their fix. I read on another blog a saying that is so very true: "Smokers can keep their tiger in the cage, Overeaters have to take their tigers out of the cage three times a day" My tiger is currently on a leash when I take it out of it's cage. But every single day of my life I fear that MY tiger will again rip loose of it's leash and devour everything within it's sight and smell.
When I pass an extremely obese person. I want to cry. I want to rush to their side and hold them and tell them that it is okay. That there ARE others that know their struggle.
Currently I am working with a woman that is in the midst of the battle. I ache for her because I know she struggles every single day and there is absolutely nothing I can do for her other then to walk by her side as she begin the battle of obesity.
My friend Jill, who well knows my struggles, is the one who runs by my side to help me in my battle. Every day I thank God for my friends that walk and run by my side!Most of these people are soldiers...they fight the battle too.
I guess the point of this entire rambling paragraph is for those who have never been "Obese" to revisit your thoughts on the obese. If you pass a person on the street that is large...please don't assume that they are just "fat, lazy and lack self control" Please please understand that these people are in emotional AND physical pain.
My goal in life is to reach out to as many people as I can. To give them hope to not let them give up...
When I pass an extremely obese person. I want to cry. I want to rush to their side and hold them and tell them that it is okay. That there ARE others that know their struggle.
Currently I am working with a woman that is in the midst of the battle. I ache for her because I know she struggles every single day and there is absolutely nothing I can do for her other then to walk by her side as she begin the battle of obesity.
My friend Jill, who well knows my struggles, is the one who runs by my side to help me in my battle. Every day I thank God for my friends that walk and run by my side!Most of these people are soldiers...they fight the battle too.
I guess the point of this entire rambling paragraph is for those who have never been "Obese" to revisit your thoughts on the obese. If you pass a person on the street that is large...please don't assume that they are just "fat, lazy and lack self control" Please please understand that these people are in emotional AND physical pain.
My goal in life is to reach out to as many people as I can. To give them hope to not let them give up...
Sunday, March 08, 2009
What It Really Means
Said: It will be nice to run along the river.
What it really means: Maybe If I give her something new to look at she will stop whining about how this is going to kill her.
Said: I am really glad I came.
What it really means: This beats scrubbing out the toilet.
Said: Let's do 5 1/2 since we are feeling good.
What it Really Means: We're gonna do 6. I don't care if you feel like puking.
Said: Did you hear what I said?
What it Really Means: Hey I better get her to talk I think she is
blacking out.
Said: Kimmie you rock!
What it really means: I am really glad you didn't puke.
Said: Have a good today Kimmie!
What it Really Means: DO NOT EAT THREE BOXES OF THIN MINTS!
Said: See you next week
What it Really Means: I guess the toilet isn't gonna get cleaned next weekend either.
Fun Factor: 1000% (the mud added about 999% of the fun)
What it really means: Maybe If I give her something new to look at she will stop whining about how this is going to kill her.
Said: I am really glad I came.
What it really means: This beats scrubbing out the toilet.
Said: Let's do 5 1/2 since we are feeling good.
What it Really Means: We're gonna do 6. I don't care if you feel like puking.
Said: Did you hear what I said?
What it Really Means: Hey I better get her to talk I think she is
blacking out.
Said: Kimmie you rock!
What it really means: I am really glad you didn't puke.
Said: Have a good today Kimmie!
What it Really Means: DO NOT EAT THREE BOXES OF THIN MINTS!
Said: See you next week
What it Really Means: I guess the toilet isn't gonna get cleaned next weekend either.
Fun Factor: 1000% (the mud added about 999% of the fun)
Friday, February 20, 2009
Honesty---Its not for the Weak
Honesty is hard. Honesty is brutally. After almost a year of sludging thru plods I FINALLY ADMITTED IT. I, an already slow plodder, became EVEN MORE SLOW. Yes my pre mini injury started the ball rolling but now I am slow because I became a PUDGE! Please note on my side bar my accountablity ticker. I have rededicated myself to weight loss. No more weekend meals dining out. No more sneak away lunch time WHINE&DINES with my sister. No more Sara Lee in my freezer. And worse of all NO MORE NEVER ENDING SUPPLY OF COOKIES ( I might add I have made this declaration during my favorite time of year...GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME). I am allowed out to eat once every other week. That is a time that is looked upon with much anticipation, drooling and lustfully thoughts about decadent desserts. Several weeks ago my husband had told me he accepted a lunch invitation from one of the men at church. I was horrified, not because I don't like the man and his wife, because they are kind and funny people, but because this was not my designated week to eat out! I told my husband, "I can't do this because it is NOT the week for my dining out" My poor husband protests that he already accepted.I being the unyeilding, bossy woman that I am respond with "We will just have to uninvite ourselves" Fortunately for me I had just been talking to the gentleman's wife about my weight loss goals and my weight loss plan. When her husband told her we would all be going to lunch she told him we would be rescheduling because she knew it was not on my week to eat out. How can you not love a woman like that! At any rate, crisis was averted....that is until the weekend arrived and I realized that if I was dining with people that I don't know all that well that I would have to EAT POLITE LIKE A LADY. I complained and whined. I carried on like the world had come to an end (complete with nashing of teeth and thrashing of the head). I told my husband that "I DID NOT WANT TO EAT MY SPECIAL MEAL WITH PEOPLE I HAD TO BE POLITE WITH" I tell you I torture the poor man with my insanity. I was crazed at the thought thought of chewing each piece of food 100 times, of not being to order the 16 ounce big piece o' giant meat and having to order the ladies 6 ounce bit o meat. I was in tears at the thought of not being able to unhinge my jaw and devouring my steak in one bite. No desset. No rolls. No emptying the bucket of peanuts. Just polite lady like nibbles...I must say the story ends well. These people are not what I would call big eaters but they ordered an appetizer and seemed to quite enjoy it. While they did order a salad for dinner (I never really understand people that do this) they ATE EVERY BITE, which increased my comfort level by like a 1000%. There is nothing worse then eating dinner with someone who orders a salad and leaves half of it because THEY ARE STUFFED!So all in all my special treat was not quite the lost experience I thought it would be. However, next weekend is my dining out week and I making sure I go with someone from my family!
Grandchildren: Last weekend Jerry and were able to keep not 1, not 2, not 3 but all 4 of our beautiful grandchildren. That is a 3month old, a 2 year old, 3 year old and 11 year old. I got to say Jerry and I still have it! We managed all 4 children! However, Grandma refused to cook dinner and sent Grandpa for a McDonald's run.
MY SLACKER NEW WORKOUT BUDDY: My daughter and I have made an agreement to lose at least 25 pounds by the last day of spring. This will be done thru food control and EXERCISE. So my daughter somewhat hesitantly agrees to accompany me to the gym. Our first workout was successful. She worked hard and except for the comment of "Why can't I just have Lipo instead of doing this crap" seemed motiviated. The second workout she worked hard but was much more vocal in her dislike of sweating, exercise and again says "WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE LIPO". The third scheduled workout I have to call her and tell her I have to work late and will not be able to make it. She does not volunteer to go alone. She says good she did not feel like going anyway. I, one not to be distracted from my goal, quickly schedule our fourth workout...Saturday at 8:15. The response was "8:15 in the morning?" I should have known that things weren't going to go well after that remark. I affirm that yes that would be 8:15 AM. She agrees because 8:15 a.m does not feel so early at 7:00 at night when you are being asked. So the next morning my workout buddy strolls into the Y at 8:30 AM and declares it to be much to early to exercise and why do we have to do this at 8:15 in the morning. I smile and point out that it is not 8:15 it is now 8:30 a.m and say "cause you wanna go to your husband's highschool reunion". She responds by saying she has changed her mind and hubby can go by himself. My workout buddy begins the process of "Break the Trainer's Spirit" by walking on the treadmill slower then a 110 year old woman. As, I am nothing but persistant, I remove her from the treadmill and put her on the Precor. This was no more effective then the treadmill as she was using the console as a headrest. Okay maybe this isn't the week for cardio...so we do 15 minutes on the Precor in a mostly prone position and then hit the floor for a killer ab workout, or at least what I planned to be a killer Ab workout. Kendra likes the mats. She likes the mats for napping and stretching out on. Kendra does not like killer AB work in the morning anymore then she likes Cardio. Dejected I dismiss her from her workout. I have failed in my attempt to be a "Jillian". Kendra will be working out this weekend. I will give her a reprieve and she can do Saturday at 9:30. Surely 9:30 a.m. cannot be declared as "the middle of the night". Then as a special treat I will take her to the gym after I get off work at a "decent time". She will then pay a heavy price for the slacker workout she gave me on Saturday!
Grandchildren: Last weekend Jerry and were able to keep not 1, not 2, not 3 but all 4 of our beautiful grandchildren. That is a 3month old, a 2 year old, 3 year old and 11 year old. I got to say Jerry and I still have it! We managed all 4 children! However, Grandma refused to cook dinner and sent Grandpa for a McDonald's run.
MY SLACKER NEW WORKOUT BUDDY: My daughter and I have made an agreement to lose at least 25 pounds by the last day of spring. This will be done thru food control and EXERCISE. So my daughter somewhat hesitantly agrees to accompany me to the gym. Our first workout was successful. She worked hard and except for the comment of "Why can't I just have Lipo instead of doing this crap" seemed motiviated. The second workout she worked hard but was much more vocal in her dislike of sweating, exercise and again says "WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE LIPO". The third scheduled workout I have to call her and tell her I have to work late and will not be able to make it. She does not volunteer to go alone. She says good she did not feel like going anyway. I, one not to be distracted from my goal, quickly schedule our fourth workout...Saturday at 8:15. The response was "8:15 in the morning?" I should have known that things weren't going to go well after that remark. I affirm that yes that would be 8:15 AM. She agrees because 8:15 a.m does not feel so early at 7:00 at night when you are being asked. So the next morning my workout buddy strolls into the Y at 8:30 AM and declares it to be much to early to exercise and why do we have to do this at 8:15 in the morning. I smile and point out that it is not 8:15 it is now 8:30 a.m and say "cause you wanna go to your husband's highschool reunion". She responds by saying she has changed her mind and hubby can go by himself. My workout buddy begins the process of "Break the Trainer's Spirit" by walking on the treadmill slower then a 110 year old woman. As, I am nothing but persistant, I remove her from the treadmill and put her on the Precor. This was no more effective then the treadmill as she was using the console as a headrest. Okay maybe this isn't the week for cardio...so we do 15 minutes on the Precor in a mostly prone position and then hit the floor for a killer ab workout, or at least what I planned to be a killer Ab workout. Kendra likes the mats. She likes the mats for napping and stretching out on. Kendra does not like killer AB work in the morning anymore then she likes Cardio. Dejected I dismiss her from her workout. I have failed in my attempt to be a "Jillian". Kendra will be working out this weekend. I will give her a reprieve and she can do Saturday at 9:30. Surely 9:30 a.m. cannot be declared as "the middle of the night". Then as a special treat I will take her to the gym after I get off work at a "decent time". She will then pay a heavy price for the slacker workout she gave me on Saturday!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Cookie Withdrawl, Pants that Bind and Shirts that Gap
1,000,000 christmas cookies later and I am back to the world o'blog.
The result of consuming unlimited Christmas cookies is:
A) Cookie withdrawl that is way worse then any drug withdrawl. I want to throw myself down on the ground in a fit of hysteria as my body and mind scream for cookies. My mind cannot be tricked by giving it a cracker...it knows...it knows...
B) Pants that can only be fastened by an elaborate process of laying down on the bed, taking a BIG deep breath, holding holding holding, pulling pulling pulling...ahhhhh snapped...call for someone to help pull me upright...no one answers my plea for help...have to rock back and forth like a flipped Turtle till I manage to flip to my stomach, where I then use my awesome upper body strength to push myself up and off the bed. There is no bending during the first few weeks of cookie recovery, on the plus side my posture looks excellent from the inability to bed at the waist.
C)Shirts that now expose my bra. It was a cool look at 20...at 46 not so much.
What is the solution to over indulgence of cookies?
PLODDING, PLODDING AND MORE PLODDING.
Upon calculation of cookie calories consumed from the day before Thanksgiving to the 5th of January it has been determined that I would have to run to California, back home again and then down to Florida and back in order to break even.
Who you might ask would plod with a crazed with withdrawal cookie addict, none other then my Y friends who have gone with me thru thick and thin..no pun intended. Thanks to Jill who will run with me on Saturday when it is cold and icy and slippery, uncomplaining as we run at a snail's pace when she can run swift as a deer. Thanks to Jeff who will put aside his own training goals to run slowly with Kim cause the cookies are weighing her down. Thanks to Tim Slick who will run with Kim during the midweek slump, cause if she had to do it on her own...she wouldn't. So what a blessed girl cause I have an awesome Y family and an awesome biological family...
Things that are great about my family
1) I don't have to clean my house for them...cause none of them like to clean either
2)They all love food too, so they don't stare at me in horror when I down a cookie tray for five by myself. They actually are quite impressed.
3)They think it is funny when I eat to the point that I am rolling on the couch clutching my stomach.
4)Nobody minds that on account of our stupidness that it takes us an entire afternoon to play a Trivia game...however we do really good at cartoon, fast food and bodily function categories.
5)The adults like toys as much as the kids.
6)Eveyone has become a musical genius thanks to guitar hero and rock band...I dare the drummer of Def Lepard to challenge anyone in our family to a drum off.
7) When some of the family members get to take a trip to Vegas the others are not resentful and jealous.
8)Even if there was some family member who might be a teeny bit resentful and a tiny bit jealous cause they are not going to get to go to Vegas to see Stars of faded glory strut their stuff on stage,(not to be named cause I don't wanna get sued by faded stars) they will still watch their most adorable sweet grandson while the others go off for a funfilled weekend.
9)Family members that go away on funfilled trips leaving the not resentful and not jealous family members home ALWAYS remember to bring a little something home for those not resentful not jealous family members.
10)If someone in the family wins a million dollars at the casino they always pay off the other family members mortgages.
A Song of Christmas Gluttony:
On the first day of Christmas Kim began her feast by consuming an entire cheese ball.
On the Second day of Christmas Kim continues to feast swallowing a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Third day of Christmas Kim continues to feast devouring a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball
On the Fourth day of Chistmas Kim continues to feast eating a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Fifth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast nibbling thru a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Sixth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by chowing down a 5 lb Honey Spiral Ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Seventh day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by ingesting a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Eighth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by inhaling a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Ninth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, her pants will not fasten but she still munches thru a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the tenth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, shirt buttons a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still gobbles down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the eleventh day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, a double chin a showing, shirt buttons are a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still wolfs down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the twelth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, plodding turn to walkin, a double chin a showing, shirt buttons are a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still wolfs down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Fifth day of the New Year Kim no longer feasts, walking turns to plodding, double chin a fading, shirt buttons not a poppin, pants soon to fasten, mixed nuts to no nuts, pumpkin pie to yogurt, honey ham to Turkey, puppy chow to Special K, fannie mae to sugar free jello , cookie platter to veggie platter, pecan pie to sugar free pudding and alas cheese ball to fat free, milk free artificial cheese......
The result of consuming unlimited Christmas cookies is:
A) Cookie withdrawl that is way worse then any drug withdrawl. I want to throw myself down on the ground in a fit of hysteria as my body and mind scream for cookies. My mind cannot be tricked by giving it a cracker...it knows...it knows...
B) Pants that can only be fastened by an elaborate process of laying down on the bed, taking a BIG deep breath, holding holding holding, pulling pulling pulling...ahhhhh snapped...call for someone to help pull me upright...no one answers my plea for help...have to rock back and forth like a flipped Turtle till I manage to flip to my stomach, where I then use my awesome upper body strength to push myself up and off the bed. There is no bending during the first few weeks of cookie recovery, on the plus side my posture looks excellent from the inability to bed at the waist.
C)Shirts that now expose my bra. It was a cool look at 20...at 46 not so much.
What is the solution to over indulgence of cookies?
PLODDING, PLODDING AND MORE PLODDING.
Upon calculation of cookie calories consumed from the day before Thanksgiving to the 5th of January it has been determined that I would have to run to California, back home again and then down to Florida and back in order to break even.
Who you might ask would plod with a crazed with withdrawal cookie addict, none other then my Y friends who have gone with me thru thick and thin..no pun intended. Thanks to Jill who will run with me on Saturday when it is cold and icy and slippery, uncomplaining as we run at a snail's pace when she can run swift as a deer. Thanks to Jeff who will put aside his own training goals to run slowly with Kim cause the cookies are weighing her down. Thanks to Tim Slick who will run with Kim during the midweek slump, cause if she had to do it on her own...she wouldn't. So what a blessed girl cause I have an awesome Y family and an awesome biological family...
Things that are great about my family
1) I don't have to clean my house for them...cause none of them like to clean either
2)They all love food too, so they don't stare at me in horror when I down a cookie tray for five by myself. They actually are quite impressed.
3)They think it is funny when I eat to the point that I am rolling on the couch clutching my stomach.
4)Nobody minds that on account of our stupidness that it takes us an entire afternoon to play a Trivia game...however we do really good at cartoon, fast food and bodily function categories.
5)The adults like toys as much as the kids.
6)Eveyone has become a musical genius thanks to guitar hero and rock band...I dare the drummer of Def Lepard to challenge anyone in our family to a drum off.
7) When some of the family members get to take a trip to Vegas the others are not resentful and jealous.
8)Even if there was some family member who might be a teeny bit resentful and a tiny bit jealous cause they are not going to get to go to Vegas to see Stars of faded glory strut their stuff on stage,(not to be named cause I don't wanna get sued by faded stars) they will still watch their most adorable sweet grandson while the others go off for a funfilled weekend.
9)Family members that go away on funfilled trips leaving the not resentful and not jealous family members home ALWAYS remember to bring a little something home for those not resentful not jealous family members.
10)If someone in the family wins a million dollars at the casino they always pay off the other family members mortgages.
A Song of Christmas Gluttony:
On the first day of Christmas Kim began her feast by consuming an entire cheese ball.
On the Second day of Christmas Kim continues to feast swallowing a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Third day of Christmas Kim continues to feast devouring a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball
On the Fourth day of Chistmas Kim continues to feast eating a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Fifth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast nibbling thru a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Sixth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by chowing down a 5 lb Honey Spiral Ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Seventh day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by ingesting a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Eighth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by inhaling a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Ninth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, her pants will not fasten but she still munches thru a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the tenth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, shirt buttons a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still gobbles down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the eleventh day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, a double chin a showing, shirt buttons are a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still wolfs down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the twelth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, plodding turn to walkin, a double chin a showing, shirt buttons are a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still wolfs down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.
On the Fifth day of the New Year Kim no longer feasts, walking turns to plodding, double chin a fading, shirt buttons not a poppin, pants soon to fasten, mixed nuts to no nuts, pumpkin pie to yogurt, honey ham to Turkey, puppy chow to Special K, fannie mae to sugar free jello , cookie platter to veggie platter, pecan pie to sugar free pudding and alas cheese ball to fat free, milk free artificial cheese......
Sunday, November 23, 2008
CLEANING HOUSE ROCKS!!!!!
As most people are well aware I do not like to clean. My cleaning episodes are few and far between and usually happen when the weather gets cold. Thank goodness I have a husband that adores to clean. Oh my how I prattle..well anyway I had a cleaning episode yesterday morning since it was my rest day from working out. I got up and started mopping floors, then the I decided maybe I should clean out my cabinets (as I am injured by falling greenbeans every time I open the door). My cabinets looked so good that I started looking around and what do you know there is dust...dust on my bric a brac. So I dust and what do I come across M&Ms! Happy Day Happy Day CLEANING IS AWESOME AND I HAVE BEEN GIFTED WITH A PACK OF M&MS FOR MY TROUBLES. My husband sees me with the M&Ms clutched in my greedy fat little hand and he says "Hey those are mine". Well I knew that in fact that they were originally purchased by me so Adam and I could have a little snack and Jerry had TAKEN THEM AWAY FROM US BECAUSE "NEITHER OF YOU NEED TO BE EATING CANDY" I never saw them again until Saturday morning. His declaration of ownership had absolutely no impact on me as I tilted back my head and swallowed half a bag of M&Ms at once. So today I decide to clean my closet, not because I thought there would be candy but because it really was kinda messy and guess what...I FOUND THREE WHOLE BAGS OF CANDY. CLEANING HOUSE ROCKS! I was a good girl today and dutifully turned over to the Candy Marshal so he could dispense with it.
Baby Keaton: Baby Keaton is a sweetie. However Baby Keaton played the ultimate male trick...have a hissy fit in hopes of discouraging Mommy from attending the shopping expedition with Grandma and Aunt Kendra. Keaton did not win this battle of wills...Mommy 1... Keaton probaby 200. Keaton was happy when Grandma and Aunt Kendra cuddled him close and walked him through the mall. Keaton was happy when he went to Pepes. Keaton probabaly would have been really happy if he got to eat EL POPO..but Mommy only let him have bottled breast milk. Keaton is going to have Grandma time on Wednesday. Keaton, Grandma and Grandpa...look for lots of pictures.
KEATONS FIRST VISIT TO GRANDMA AND GRANDPAS HOUSE PRE MALL
GRANDMA LOVES HER LITTLE GUY
Adam: Adam got to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa last night. After shopping Kendra and Grandma stopped by to pick him up. He was all Papaw Papaw EVEN though it was Grandma's idea to pick him up and spend time with him. Grandma rates second to Grandpa until it is time to be pulled in the wagon or brush his teeth or go to bed...THEN it is Mamaw Mamaw. Adam went shopping and was actually very good. He found a Santa hat that we had to buy and he wore it thru the Dollar Store and thru Payless and then all morning.
EVEN SANTA'S ELVES LIKE TO MAKE PANCAKES
Baby Keaton: Baby Keaton is a sweetie. However Baby Keaton played the ultimate male trick...have a hissy fit in hopes of discouraging Mommy from attending the shopping expedition with Grandma and Aunt Kendra. Keaton did not win this battle of wills...Mommy 1... Keaton probaby 200. Keaton was happy when Grandma and Aunt Kendra cuddled him close and walked him through the mall. Keaton was happy when he went to Pepes. Keaton probabaly would have been really happy if he got to eat EL POPO..but Mommy only let him have bottled breast milk. Keaton is going to have Grandma time on Wednesday. Keaton, Grandma and Grandpa...look for lots of pictures.
KEATONS FIRST VISIT TO GRANDMA AND GRANDPAS HOUSE PRE MALL
GRANDMA LOVES HER LITTLE GUY
Adam: Adam got to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa last night. After shopping Kendra and Grandma stopped by to pick him up. He was all Papaw Papaw EVEN though it was Grandma's idea to pick him up and spend time with him. Grandma rates second to Grandpa until it is time to be pulled in the wagon or brush his teeth or go to bed...THEN it is Mamaw Mamaw. Adam went shopping and was actually very good. He found a Santa hat that we had to buy and he wore it thru the Dollar Store and thru Payless and then all morning.
EVEN SANTA'S ELVES LIKE TO MAKE PANCAKES
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
UP DOWN REPEAT
So in my pursuit of fastness...Hill Repeats were ordered.
All I can say is BLECK! It was cold cold cold and DARK and did I say COLD? I was the first one at the hill so I thought what the heck I am slower then the others (okay WAY SLOWER) so I started without them. Up the hill this chubby girl went. Wow this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then the others arrived...OH I AM SUPPOSE TO GO UP THE HILL FASTER THEN I USUALLY PLOD? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! So I increased my pace and then...IT DID FEEL AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
Over up the hill down the the hill 4 3/4 times. I was going to stop at 3 3/4 but as you know I am easily influenced by peer pressure (thank goodness my friends just run and don't drink at bars all night)so I finished! Thanks to Jeff and Russ for encourageing me up and over the hill!
Monday and Tuesday food has been good! I love the weekdays. I can stay on program...the weekends...well Gluttenous Kim comes out to play. Evil Starbucks lures me with Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Cookies shriek my name and my debit cards screams use me use me take me out to lunch.
Workout Schedule this Week"
Monday: 2miles slow run, Ab work
Tuesday: Hill work 45 minutes, Upper Body Lifting
Wednesday: 2 miles Walk/Run (with the elusive Tom Slick no less)
Thursday: 5 mile climate Run
Friday: Spinning/Power Hour
Saturday: Off
Sunday: 3 mile run
Newly Found Knowlege:
I love NERDS. My house has been emptied of trick or treat candy. Well it probably is still in the house but my husband hid it well enough that I could not find it. So Sunday I NEEDED CANDY BAD. I looked around nothing but crappy NERDS. In the past I have never had a desire to eat this totally kid candy but hey I was desperate, so I opened up a box and took a mouthful...YUM! Grape and Strawberry NERDS are yummy! I went to get some more and the bag of NERDS is now missing. Husband saw that I was loving the NERDS and made them go away...I was kinda glad but mostly sad....
All I can say is BLECK! It was cold cold cold and DARK and did I say COLD? I was the first one at the hill so I thought what the heck I am slower then the others (okay WAY SLOWER) so I started without them. Up the hill this chubby girl went. Wow this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then the others arrived...OH I AM SUPPOSE TO GO UP THE HILL FASTER THEN I USUALLY PLOD? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! So I increased my pace and then...IT DID FEEL AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
Over up the hill down the the hill 4 3/4 times. I was going to stop at 3 3/4 but as you know I am easily influenced by peer pressure (thank goodness my friends just run and don't drink at bars all night)so I finished! Thanks to Jeff and Russ for encourageing me up and over the hill!
Monday and Tuesday food has been good! I love the weekdays. I can stay on program...the weekends...well Gluttenous Kim comes out to play. Evil Starbucks lures me with Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Cookies shriek my name and my debit cards screams use me use me take me out to lunch.
Workout Schedule this Week"
Monday: 2miles slow run, Ab work
Tuesday: Hill work 45 minutes, Upper Body Lifting
Wednesday: 2 miles Walk/Run (with the elusive Tom Slick no less)
Thursday: 5 mile climate Run
Friday: Spinning/Power Hour
Saturday: Off
Sunday: 3 mile run
Newly Found Knowlege:
I love NERDS. My house has been emptied of trick or treat candy. Well it probably is still in the house but my husband hid it well enough that I could not find it. So Sunday I NEEDED CANDY BAD. I looked around nothing but crappy NERDS. In the past I have never had a desire to eat this totally kid candy but hey I was desperate, so I opened up a box and took a mouthful...YUM! Grape and Strawberry NERDS are yummy! I went to get some more and the bag of NERDS is now missing. Husband saw that I was loving the NERDS and made them go away...I was kinda glad but mostly sad....
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Being Grandparents is Great Fun
Just Like Grandma!
Eventually he did share the crackers.
Only the Coolest Grandpa's Play with Play Doh.
Pssst...my Grandpa is BOOOORRRRING
He doesn't want breast milk. He wants cookies.
Eventually he did share the crackers.
Only the Coolest Grandpa's Play with Play Doh.
Pssst...my Grandpa is BOOOORRRRING
He doesn't want breast milk. He wants cookies.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Why I do the things I Do
As I stared into the mirror, I might add with a look of disgust and horror, I asked myself "Why after 4 years of plodding and lifting do I not yet look like Shakira?" Then I asked myself,"Since I don't look like Shakira WHY AM I STILL DOING THIS?" So as I am the master list maker a list was made:
Why I Keep Plodding Despite Not Looking Anymore Like Shakira Then When I First Began:
1. I have the most awesome climate run friends in world and would miss them terribly if I stopped going.(For those of you unfamiliar with what a climate run is. It is running at an insanely early time in the morning 4:45 a.m.no matter what the weather is like.)
2. I really really really like cookies.
3. I evidently love oxygen deprivation and pain running throughout my body.
4.It is better then tequila for making you forget your problems.
5. Because all the cool kids do it.
Okay after reviewing my list I went back an gazed into the mirror of horror and guess what....I think I might have been mistaken... my right calf might have started to slightly have a Shakira like shape...so the plodding resumes. I guess I better add number 6 to my list
6. I am an eternal optimist.
Updates:
After talking to my climate run friend Jeff, it has been determined that I need speedwork. LOTS OF SPEEDWORK (as you know I am still traumatized by knowing that I run slower then an undernourished kitten) so a review follows of Tuesday's speedwork:
Speed Work a/k/a Hurt Real Bad Work
After much sloughing off due to my pre mini injury I have decided that slow plodding Kim needs to be banished forever more. So dutifully I appeared at Jeff's Tuesday morning speed workout. What I did can not truely be described as Speed Work but is more aptly described as "Less Slow Workout" What a nice surprise to see the happy smiling faces of Leo, Danna and Russ! I might add that I am the ONLY one that needs speed work so the fact that 4 of my friends were in attendance made me get kinda weepy.
Overheard at that Tuesday morning workout:
Kim "My heartrate is too high I need to walk"
Leo "Get going your heart is not going to explode" (Leo NEVER feels
sorry for me, despite my great physical discomfort and agony)
Russ: "This reminds me of phys ed class in highschool"
Jeff: "Why? Did you run with fat kids then too" (Okay this remark
made me laugh so hard I really thought my heart was going to explode!)
Kim: "I feel like the hounds of hell are behind me."
Russ: "Thats right! Get Going"
Jeff: "Come on Kimmie Push!"
Kim "GAAAAAASP OKAAAAAAY"
Kim: "Can you stop by my house on the way to take me to the hospital
so I can put my crockpot on low"
Kim: "Tell my family I always loved them"
Jeff: "Good Job Kimmie! (a comment very much appreciated by winded and tired Kim)
Danna: "I promise you that hills will make you faster"
So we finished and the next speedwork will take place on Tuesay at the Hill of Hell (which is at the opposite end of town from Puke Mountain).
Earlier I referred to my being the master list maker. This is an absolutely true fact, not like when I refer to myself as Master of All that is Around Me.
I love to make lists. I make list of the lists I need to make. I put things on my list that I do as routine just so I can cross them off ex..brush teeth. I might add that seldom are my lists ever completed but that does not stop me. Somethings I have had on my lists for years...ex clean out laundry room closet...take children's precious child hood memories in a box and drop them off on their porches. But my favorite list of all is "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" It starts off with items I have been told they want and items I think they actually need in regular font. As I purchase the items I then bold the typeface. When the items are wrapped the get changed to bold red typeface. Oh how I love love love my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" I then try to hide my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" but I do belive my family violates my privacy and READS my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" This year I have outsmarted them allbecause I have a decoy "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST". More fun for me because I got to make yet another list.
Well it is time to plod so off I go for yet another round of oxygen deprivation and pain runnning throughout my body!
**Due to the early time..correct grammer, puncuation and spelling is optional***
Why I Keep Plodding Despite Not Looking Anymore Like Shakira Then When I First Began:
1. I have the most awesome climate run friends in world and would miss them terribly if I stopped going.(For those of you unfamiliar with what a climate run is. It is running at an insanely early time in the morning 4:45 a.m.no matter what the weather is like.)
2. I really really really like cookies.
3. I evidently love oxygen deprivation and pain running throughout my body.
4.It is better then tequila for making you forget your problems.
5. Because all the cool kids do it.
Okay after reviewing my list I went back an gazed into the mirror of horror and guess what....I think I might have been mistaken... my right calf might have started to slightly have a Shakira like shape...so the plodding resumes. I guess I better add number 6 to my list
6. I am an eternal optimist.
Updates:
After talking to my climate run friend Jeff, it has been determined that I need speedwork. LOTS OF SPEEDWORK (as you know I am still traumatized by knowing that I run slower then an undernourished kitten) so a review follows of Tuesday's speedwork:
Speed Work a/k/a Hurt Real Bad Work
After much sloughing off due to my pre mini injury I have decided that slow plodding Kim needs to be banished forever more. So dutifully I appeared at Jeff's Tuesday morning speed workout. What I did can not truely be described as Speed Work but is more aptly described as "Less Slow Workout" What a nice surprise to see the happy smiling faces of Leo, Danna and Russ! I might add that I am the ONLY one that needs speed work so the fact that 4 of my friends were in attendance made me get kinda weepy.
Overheard at that Tuesday morning workout:
Kim "My heartrate is too high I need to walk"
Leo "Get going your heart is not going to explode" (Leo NEVER feels
sorry for me, despite my great physical discomfort and agony)
Russ: "This reminds me of phys ed class in highschool"
Jeff: "Why? Did you run with fat kids then too" (Okay this remark
made me laugh so hard I really thought my heart was going to explode!)
Kim: "I feel like the hounds of hell are behind me."
Russ: "Thats right! Get Going"
Jeff: "Come on Kimmie Push!"
Kim "GAAAAAASP OKAAAAAAY"
Kim: "Can you stop by my house on the way to take me to the hospital
so I can put my crockpot on low"
Kim: "Tell my family I always loved them"
Jeff: "Good Job Kimmie! (a comment very much appreciated by winded and tired Kim)
Danna: "I promise you that hills will make you faster"
So we finished and the next speedwork will take place on Tuesay at the Hill of Hell (which is at the opposite end of town from Puke Mountain).
Earlier I referred to my being the master list maker. This is an absolutely true fact, not like when I refer to myself as Master of All that is Around Me.
I love to make lists. I make list of the lists I need to make. I put things on my list that I do as routine just so I can cross them off ex..brush teeth. I might add that seldom are my lists ever completed but that does not stop me. Somethings I have had on my lists for years...ex clean out laundry room closet...take children's precious child hood memories in a box and drop them off on their porches. But my favorite list of all is "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" It starts off with items I have been told they want and items I think they actually need in regular font. As I purchase the items I then bold the typeface. When the items are wrapped the get changed to bold red typeface. Oh how I love love love my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" I then try to hide my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" but I do belive my family violates my privacy and READS my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" This year I have outsmarted them allbecause I have a decoy "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST". More fun for me because I got to make yet another list.
Well it is time to plod so off I go for yet another round of oxygen deprivation and pain runnning throughout my body!
**Due to the early time..correct grammer, puncuation and spelling is optional***
Thursday, November 06, 2008
AND THE MOMENT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!
Keaton James Kaufman 9.8 ounce 22 inches long. Grandma has a future Purdue Boilermaker lineman!
Keaton has the softest blackest hair, rosy cheeks and looks just like his Daddy.
Tasha had to work really really hard to bring her big boy into the world!
It was a surprise that Tasha had him on Tuesday because Monday's doctor appointment she was told nothing was going on and Sunday she would go into the hospital to be induced. My heart went out to poor Tasha because she is such a little thing to be carrying such a big baby...
So I say "why don't you come over for dinner" Meatloaf, homemade mashed pototoes, greenbeans, cornbread muffins and apple crisp for dessert..ummm a meal fit for a mother to be. The next morning Tasha is in labor in the hospital...
Could: Grandma have slipped labor inducing drugs into her daughter in laws meatloaf? Could Baby Keaton have liked dinner so much that he decided not to miss another one of Grandma's home cooked meals and so worked to be born by dinner time the next day? hmmmm?
Spooktacular Evenings
Pre Halloween Fun
Trick or Treat night arrives!
Vampire, Princess and Ballerina OH MY!
Overheard on Trick or Treat Night:
"I want allore" (Adam language for candy)
"I want allore NOW" spoken by Adam even louder
"Can you pull me in the wagon?" asked by 6 year old Abby.
"Absolutely not...your legs aren't broken" spoken by Grandma Kim who refused to pull 3 children in the wagon.
"That was very stressful and I even took a Xanax" Spoken by Amanda a new mommy who has never taken mulitple children trick or treating.
"I still hate trick or treat night" spoken by Grandma Denise who has 24 years of trick or experience with mulitple children
"I think I have gummy bears stuck in my hair can somebody pick them out?" Grandma Kim after carrying Adam on her shoulders while he was eating gummybears (fyi no one offered)
"Yeah that was just as fun as I remembered" Grandma Kim who has 27 years of trick or treat experience with mulitple children.
New Information:
The rich mommies do not take their children trick or treating...their nannys take them...Rich mommies sit on the porch and sip wine while handing out candy.
Halloween Fun
October 24 was Grandma's Craft and Cookie Night!
Started out with painting...2,3, 5 and 6 and 10 yr olds with paint brushes...I am sure you can imagine the fun that was had!
Frosting Cookies: Grandma hands out plain sugar cookies...the plan was to frost and sprinkle..as soon as I put them on the plate they were having bites taken out them...we decorated them anyway cause Grandma's don't care about germs.
Games were played. 2 year olds do not know how to take turns.
5 and 6 year olds have no patience for 2 years olds that do not know how to take turns.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Empty Nest Compensation
I thought when children grew up and left home that women have empty nest syndrome and pace around sobbing and wailing for their "lost" children. I have yet to wail and the only time I sob is when I am trying to plod up 4th street hill...okay ANY hill. I also thought they had lots of free time in which they could lay around watching Oprah and Dr. Phil. Why don't I have time for Oprah and Dr. Phil? Is it because I don't use my time wisely or is it because my life actually is busy? It just seems like I have less time then ever despite having no children at home. But I have to say I am lovin' every minute of my life!
September activies: Earl Park Festival, Two Birthday Parties, Brookston Apple Popcorn Festival, One Baby Shower hosted by me and my very creative daughter, Trip to the Feast of the Hunters Moon...I guess I was kinda busy...
What the cool kids have at their birthday parties:
Gee Mom why didn't I get one of those. I don't even think I got a pony!
The birthday boy:
When asked if he had licked the cake he replied "No" but I think the proof is in the picture.
Keaton and His Mommy at Keaton's Baby Shower:
Kendra and I hosted the party:
Chicken Salad and Turkey Croissants, Chips, Fresh Strawberries, Grapes and Pineapple with Cream Cheese Fruit dip, Pasta Salad, Nuts and Mints, Punch...complete with baby ducks afloatin' and Cake..we passed on the traditional baby shower cake decorations and went for curious George as Keaton's bedroom is done in Curious George.
Adam already violating his cousin's possessions:
Who Knew a Bomb Pop could dye a child blue?
October is here! What ever do I do in the month of October?
Birthday party for my favorite son in law..yes he is my only son in law but he would be my favorite even if I had more. Annual Trek to the Covered Bridge Festival was this weekend. I was accompanied by one daughter and one very very pregnant daughter in law. BIG KUDOs to the woman who is nine months pregnant and walked the hills of Mansfield without even one complaint! We were hoping to walk Keaton out of her but he is one stubborn boy and did not even try to come out...
Upcoming Events: October 24, Halloween Craft and Cookie Night...a night of Halloween fun and games at Grandma and Grandpa's house....dinner will be served for both the young and the old...I guess they could even decorate a cookie with the kids.
October 25 65 mile bike ride with friends! Yeah I have not had a long ride since September and I am needing it...Next year I have my eye on "The Bucket Ride" 120 miles of fun!
October 31: Trick or Treat night...Pot of Chili on the Stove for those that need nourishment before doing the trick or treat trek.
Fitness Update:
I am much honored to have been picked as a "Coach" for the better weigh in contest at the Y. Who would ever think that someone would look to me as a role model?
Running: Wooooo HOOOOOOOO I plodded 5 miles without stopping to walk AND that included 4th Street hill a/k/a Puke Mountain and 9th street...which is only rated with a 25% puke factor. It's been a long time coming...my knee did not start to tug until mile 4..so that is an improvement. Usually mile 3 it starts in. The company was great so it took my mind off the fact that I CANNOT BREATHE AND AM PRETTY SURE I AM IN THE THROES OF DEATH during my plods.
Biking: So sad no biking..no time...sob sob can't wait till October 25!
Now for the more insightful part of my post. Words of Wisdom or Encourgement I have been told:
What doesn't make you stonger will just hurt you real bad
You better eat your pie now cause there won't be any left later ( I piece of advice I used often and it made me fat!)
Waa get going (spoken by Jill when I told her I was tired and could not breath)
The first mile is the hardest. ( I am pretty sure I still don't believe this)
Keep your old car cause at least you know what is wrong with it You buy another used car and you might get even worse problems. (My father's analogy on marriage and divorce)
Don't forget to go the bathroom before we leave cause it's a long ride.(Told to me by my Grandson Ty when he was 3 yrs old before we left to go to a festival)
Quit Whining (spoken to me by everybody I have ever plodded with..oh and my huband a zillion times)
September activies: Earl Park Festival, Two Birthday Parties, Brookston Apple Popcorn Festival, One Baby Shower hosted by me and my very creative daughter, Trip to the Feast of the Hunters Moon...I guess I was kinda busy...
What the cool kids have at their birthday parties:
Gee Mom why didn't I get one of those. I don't even think I got a pony!
The birthday boy:
When asked if he had licked the cake he replied "No" but I think the proof is in the picture.
Keaton and His Mommy at Keaton's Baby Shower:
Kendra and I hosted the party:
Chicken Salad and Turkey Croissants, Chips, Fresh Strawberries, Grapes and Pineapple with Cream Cheese Fruit dip, Pasta Salad, Nuts and Mints, Punch...complete with baby ducks afloatin' and Cake..we passed on the traditional baby shower cake decorations and went for curious George as Keaton's bedroom is done in Curious George.
Adam already violating his cousin's possessions:
Who Knew a Bomb Pop could dye a child blue?
October is here! What ever do I do in the month of October?
Birthday party for my favorite son in law..yes he is my only son in law but he would be my favorite even if I had more. Annual Trek to the Covered Bridge Festival was this weekend. I was accompanied by one daughter and one very very pregnant daughter in law. BIG KUDOs to the woman who is nine months pregnant and walked the hills of Mansfield without even one complaint! We were hoping to walk Keaton out of her but he is one stubborn boy and did not even try to come out...
Upcoming Events: October 24, Halloween Craft and Cookie Night...a night of Halloween fun and games at Grandma and Grandpa's house....dinner will be served for both the young and the old...I guess they could even decorate a cookie with the kids.
October 25 65 mile bike ride with friends! Yeah I have not had a long ride since September and I am needing it...Next year I have my eye on "The Bucket Ride" 120 miles of fun!
October 31: Trick or Treat night...Pot of Chili on the Stove for those that need nourishment before doing the trick or treat trek.
Fitness Update:
I am much honored to have been picked as a "Coach" for the better weigh in contest at the Y. Who would ever think that someone would look to me as a role model?
Running: Wooooo HOOOOOOOO I plodded 5 miles without stopping to walk AND that included 4th Street hill a/k/a Puke Mountain and 9th street...which is only rated with a 25% puke factor. It's been a long time coming...my knee did not start to tug until mile 4..so that is an improvement. Usually mile 3 it starts in. The company was great so it took my mind off the fact that I CANNOT BREATHE AND AM PRETTY SURE I AM IN THE THROES OF DEATH during my plods.
Biking: So sad no biking..no time...sob sob can't wait till October 25!
Now for the more insightful part of my post. Words of Wisdom or Encourgement I have been told:
What doesn't make you stonger will just hurt you real bad
You better eat your pie now cause there won't be any left later ( I piece of advice I used often and it made me fat!)
Waa get going (spoken by Jill when I told her I was tired and could not breath)
The first mile is the hardest. ( I am pretty sure I still don't believe this)
Keep your old car cause at least you know what is wrong with it You buy another used car and you might get even worse problems. (My father's analogy on marriage and divorce)
Don't forget to go the bathroom before we leave cause it's a long ride.(Told to me by my Grandson Ty when he was 3 yrs old before we left to go to a festival)
Quit Whining (spoken to me by everybody I have ever plodded with..oh and my huband a zillion times)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
A Tail of Humiliation
Climate Run Thursday September 11, 2008
Attendees: Several really FAST people, One very PATIENT person and one REALLY slow person
4:45 a.m. and all the world sleeps except for the insane. What, you
might ask, do insane people do at 4:45 a.m? They do the CLIMATE run.
Off they go... the fast ones hurl off into the darkness, Kim reminds
Jeff that last Thursday he vowed to stay by her side as Leo cannot be at the climate run this Thursday. She also advises Jeff that due to the incredible pain in her back side that she will be going slower then her usual slow but she expects him to still be a man of his word and stay with her despite the the slow motion plod.
Why is Kim slower then slow? Because she thought it would be a really good idea on Wed. to plod for 3.5 miles and then do lunges from one end of her street to the other. Kim now cannot sit or walk without immense pain and discomfort. (It might be noted that if one does lunges in public then one will be gawked at).
Kim and Jeff plod side by side. Jeff does not complain about the
snails pace that Kim is plodding. They come to Leo's house. Jeff and Kim contemplate banging on Leo's door to give him one last chance to attend the climate run. Kim thinks it is an awesome idea because she knows he has coffee...good coffee...Their better judgment prevails (cause they wanna live) and they speed past Leo's house...okay PLOD past Leo's house. Kim is sad because she has not yet had coffee. The world is an ugly brutal cold place without coffee. Kim cannot exist in a world without coffee.
Kim tried to plod without her IT Band. Kim's knee was not in agreement with this. Kim's knee swears it hates her and will make her suffer.Kim promises her knee if it will just make it thru the route she will buy it a brand new IT Band..maybe one with sparkles and sequins....
Jeff and Kim are chased by a Wolf...okay it was a HUGE dog...okay it was a sorta of medium dog...but it had a really big bark. The owner half heartedly called his wild beast back. The wild beast totally ignored his owner and continued to chase after Kim and Jeff, probably trying to determine which one would be the meatest. The wild beast finally slinks off and Kim and Jeff are free to plod without fear.
It seems unlikely that Kim and Jeff would have yet a second encounter with a vicious animal...but yet....Kim and Jeff are chased by a Mountain Lion....okay okay it was not a mountain lion...it was HUGE FELINE...okay I cann't lie it was a kitten. A kitten that insisted on following Kim and Jeff all the way down Lafayette Drive to the Jeff Square parking lot. Kim shoo shoos the kitten. She picks it up and turns it around hoping it will go back the other direction. The kitten loves Kim and Jeff. Jeff tells Kim to take it home with her. Kim says her dog will eat the kitten (as her dog has a past history of eating cats) and besides she could not get it home as she rode her bike to the Y. Kim tells Jeff to take it home. Jeff says NO NO NO. She tells him perhaps he could take it home and give it to his brother as a present. Jeff is skeptical that giving a kitten as a present is a good idea. Kim suggest taking it back to the Y and giving it to Kris as a
token of their appreciation for all her hard work. Ultimate Kim and
Jeff decide the kitten must be left behind. They plod a little faster in hopes of losing the kitten. It was humiliating. Kim cannot outpace a kitten.
Kim has learned a few things on this climate run:
Plodding without coffee has a -1000 fun factor
Knee pain will not subside by promising her knee "knee bling"
A dog will not eat her because she is to fatty and not meaty enough.
She cannot run faster then an undernourished kitten.
Attendees: Several really FAST people, One very PATIENT person and one REALLY slow person
4:45 a.m. and all the world sleeps except for the insane. What, you
might ask, do insane people do at 4:45 a.m? They do the CLIMATE run.
Off they go... the fast ones hurl off into the darkness, Kim reminds
Jeff that last Thursday he vowed to stay by her side as Leo cannot be at the climate run this Thursday. She also advises Jeff that due to the incredible pain in her back side that she will be going slower then her usual slow but she expects him to still be a man of his word and stay with her despite the the slow motion plod.
Why is Kim slower then slow? Because she thought it would be a really good idea on Wed. to plod for 3.5 miles and then do lunges from one end of her street to the other. Kim now cannot sit or walk without immense pain and discomfort. (It might be noted that if one does lunges in public then one will be gawked at).
Kim and Jeff plod side by side. Jeff does not complain about the
snails pace that Kim is plodding. They come to Leo's house. Jeff and Kim contemplate banging on Leo's door to give him one last chance to attend the climate run. Kim thinks it is an awesome idea because she knows he has coffee...good coffee...Their better judgment prevails (cause they wanna live) and they speed past Leo's house...okay PLOD past Leo's house. Kim is sad because she has not yet had coffee. The world is an ugly brutal cold place without coffee. Kim cannot exist in a world without coffee.
Kim tried to plod without her IT Band. Kim's knee was not in agreement with this. Kim's knee swears it hates her and will make her suffer.Kim promises her knee if it will just make it thru the route she will buy it a brand new IT Band..maybe one with sparkles and sequins....
Jeff and Kim are chased by a Wolf...okay it was a HUGE dog...okay it was a sorta of medium dog...but it had a really big bark. The owner half heartedly called his wild beast back. The wild beast totally ignored his owner and continued to chase after Kim and Jeff, probably trying to determine which one would be the meatest. The wild beast finally slinks off and Kim and Jeff are free to plod without fear.
It seems unlikely that Kim and Jeff would have yet a second encounter with a vicious animal...but yet....Kim and Jeff are chased by a Mountain Lion....okay okay it was not a mountain lion...it was HUGE FELINE...okay I cann't lie it was a kitten. A kitten that insisted on following Kim and Jeff all the way down Lafayette Drive to the Jeff Square parking lot. Kim shoo shoos the kitten. She picks it up and turns it around hoping it will go back the other direction. The kitten loves Kim and Jeff. Jeff tells Kim to take it home with her. Kim says her dog will eat the kitten (as her dog has a past history of eating cats) and besides she could not get it home as she rode her bike to the Y. Kim tells Jeff to take it home. Jeff says NO NO NO. She tells him perhaps he could take it home and give it to his brother as a present. Jeff is skeptical that giving a kitten as a present is a good idea. Kim suggest taking it back to the Y and giving it to Kris as a
token of their appreciation for all her hard work. Ultimate Kim and
Jeff decide the kitten must be left behind. They plod a little faster in hopes of losing the kitten. It was humiliating. Kim cannot outpace a kitten.
Kim has learned a few things on this climate run:
Plodding without coffee has a -1000 fun factor
Knee pain will not subside by promising her knee "knee bling"
A dog will not eat her because she is to fatty and not meaty enough.
She cannot run faster then an undernourished kitten.
Monday, September 01, 2008
I Want to Ride My Bicycle I Want to Ride My Bike
All is well on the running front..welll at least as well as can be for the Queen of the Plodders. I managed to run 5 miles with only one Leo assigned water break. No knee brace...minimal knee discomfort. It was slow it was steady but only one tiny water walk break! I do believe for the most part that I am healed. So I will be uping my running days to three days a week. THERE WAS ZERO WHINING ON THE CLIMATE RUN...well except for the plea for relief when I saw the climate runners turn toward downtown. I am not healed enough to do PUKE MOUNTAIN. Leo took pity on me and he took me on a flat five mile route...all I can say is Thank you thank you thank you Leo!
On the bike front....EVERYTHING IS EXCELLENT!
August 23 I did a 65 mile route...well actually 68 miles as I missed a turn and had to back track! 13.8 average pace..which is kinda slow but for my longest ride ever I am quite pleased. I did have an average pace of almost 15 till I hit that last 20 miles which was mostly hills...not baby hills...puke moutain hills...one hill in particular I just wanted to get off my bike and push it up the hill...but pride...pride...pride...pride...kept me on the bike and kept me pushing pushing pushing up the hill, even though I really wanted to cry like a baby and walk my bike up the hill. 68 miles is a long way to bike by yourself and I desperately missed my friends. The sag stops were set up great with lots of food and drink. However, I am not the get off my bike and chat kinda girl...I stopped...refilled my water bottle, one with gatorade, one with water and walked around for 5 minutes to stretch my legs and try to get some feeling back in my rear and then got back on the road. I did meet a really nice lady who told me I would be really fast on a road bike as I was keeping up with her on my hybrid...talk about giving a burst of confidence to a chubby middle aged weekend warrior. About 11:00 it heated up and it heated up fast. I went thru fluids like crazy (by the way orange gatorade taste like spic and span bleck..give me my powerade zero..yummy) and with 10 miles left to go I was out of fluid...... At last I saw a two mile marker. I don't know who said it was 2 because my odometer clearly showed I went almost 4 miles from that marker when I turned into the finish...and my odometer is right. The last mile I passed a biker laying flat on his back with his bike by his side. I went past him and then thought "Kim you should stop...what if he is dead...". So I turned around and went back. I asked him if he was okay. He said "Yep..its hot...discretion is the better part of valor" and then he laid back down. Then he says, "You should only have another mile left". At the finish line I was offered a sandwich...bleck...real bikers that can bike across states can eat sandwiches after riding 65 or 101 miles. Weekend warriors want to throw up at the sight of lunch meat. However, weekend warriors will eat popcicles and drink lots and lots of water. The rest of the day I could not get enough fluids. I drank and drank and drank. Surprisingly I was not in the least bit sore. I managed to go to the Jazz festival and walk around. I was advised that I was fatigued the last 20 miles and that my pace per mile went down because the only thing I ate on the ride was a small dixie cup of trail mix and nothing else. Matter of fact I was not hungry for the rest of the day but finally made myself eat at 10:00 at night....BIKING IS BETTER THEN DEXITRIM. Per my heart rate montitor I burnt an estimated 3400 calores on my bike ride! Thank you big giant hills!
I think I found my sport!
This weekend ride: Barb and I rode this Saturday. I got 26 miles in and it felt great! I am looking foward to another 65 mile ride soon!
On the bike front....EVERYTHING IS EXCELLENT!
August 23 I did a 65 mile route...well actually 68 miles as I missed a turn and had to back track! 13.8 average pace..which is kinda slow but for my longest ride ever I am quite pleased. I did have an average pace of almost 15 till I hit that last 20 miles which was mostly hills...not baby hills...puke moutain hills...one hill in particular I just wanted to get off my bike and push it up the hill...but pride...pride...pride...pride...kept me on the bike and kept me pushing pushing pushing up the hill, even though I really wanted to cry like a baby and walk my bike up the hill. 68 miles is a long way to bike by yourself and I desperately missed my friends. The sag stops were set up great with lots of food and drink. However, I am not the get off my bike and chat kinda girl...I stopped...refilled my water bottle, one with gatorade, one with water and walked around for 5 minutes to stretch my legs and try to get some feeling back in my rear and then got back on the road. I did meet a really nice lady who told me I would be really fast on a road bike as I was keeping up with her on my hybrid...talk about giving a burst of confidence to a chubby middle aged weekend warrior. About 11:00 it heated up and it heated up fast. I went thru fluids like crazy (by the way orange gatorade taste like spic and span bleck..give me my powerade zero..yummy) and with 10 miles left to go I was out of fluid...... At last I saw a two mile marker. I don't know who said it was 2 because my odometer clearly showed I went almost 4 miles from that marker when I turned into the finish...and my odometer is right. The last mile I passed a biker laying flat on his back with his bike by his side. I went past him and then thought "Kim you should stop...what if he is dead...". So I turned around and went back. I asked him if he was okay. He said "Yep..its hot...discretion is the better part of valor" and then he laid back down. Then he says, "You should only have another mile left". At the finish line I was offered a sandwich...bleck...real bikers that can bike across states can eat sandwiches after riding 65 or 101 miles. Weekend warriors want to throw up at the sight of lunch meat. However, weekend warriors will eat popcicles and drink lots and lots of water. The rest of the day I could not get enough fluids. I drank and drank and drank. Surprisingly I was not in the least bit sore. I managed to go to the Jazz festival and walk around. I was advised that I was fatigued the last 20 miles and that my pace per mile went down because the only thing I ate on the ride was a small dixie cup of trail mix and nothing else. Matter of fact I was not hungry for the rest of the day but finally made myself eat at 10:00 at night....BIKING IS BETTER THEN DEXITRIM. Per my heart rate montitor I burnt an estimated 3400 calores on my bike ride! Thank you big giant hills!
I think I found my sport!
This weekend ride: Barb and I rode this Saturday. I got 26 miles in and it felt great! I am looking foward to another 65 mile ride soon!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Camp Grandma
To get major Grandma love points I took my oldest Grandson to the local water park. Now, as you have probably heard before I am not a fan of water. I like water in my bathtub and in my waterbottle...other then that I have very little use for it. My attempts at swimming can mostly be described as a whole lot of flailing, even more splashing and getting absolutely no where. However, I love my grandson more then I dislike water and wanted him to have fun at his week of "Camp Grandma" so off we go...swimming suits on and lathered down with what I thought was an appropriate amount of sun screen for my cave white fish colored body. We get to the park and the boy is giddy with delight at the sight of the water slide. Grandma just kept thinking "Man that's a lot of steps to the top". But Grandma is a good sport if not a good athlete so she gamely steps into the lazy river...cause you gotta ride the lazy river to get to the water slide. Getting in the lazy river is not as easy as what you think cause you gotta load yourself onto a raft like doughnut or a plain old doughnut tube. My grandson just sticks it over his head and slides it down his body and then he can pull himself up and onto it. But for me that is a problem because that doughnut is not gonna fit over my somewhat generous form…the alternative is to hop on it. Now for a woman that is not graceful this is not a pretty sight. It involved a lot of hoisting, grunting and numerous slide offs before my bootie was wedged into the doughnut hole. Off I go, down the lazy river, to the off ramp to the water slide. Dismounting from the doughnut not much easier then wedging my self in, but with only the loss of my remaining dignity, I was able to pry myself out of the doughnut hole. This is the same doughnut hole that I would then have to rewedge myself back into once I climbed the bazillion steps to the top of the water slide. Water slide not so bad if you are a fan of being hurtled down a gushing tube full of water in the dark where at the end you are going to explode into yet more water, and probably be thrown from the tube. Surprise…I stayed in my tube…Not even the force of 1,000,000 gallons of water could unwedge me from my doughnut hole. So once again I had to flail, splash, grunt, hoist and wiggle to unwedge myself from the hole so that could climb out of the water slide water pit so that we could go on the water slide again. Finally Ty said he was ready to float around the river. I LOVE THE LAZY RIVER! All I needed was a good book and I could have floated for hours! But Grandsons have only so much interest in the lazy river and soon he was pulling me out of the lazy river to go explore the rest of the park. While Ty was going down the small water slide, Grandma had a chance to look around. Stay at home Mommies as far as the eye could see…all shapes and sizes…large mommies, large mommies in bikinis that should be wearing one pieces…skinny tan mommies that wore little teeny bikinis,..bikinies that were no bigger then the wet wipes they were carting in their diaper bags…medium sized mommies, tattooed mommies, bleached blond mommies that looked like they would be more at home on a stripper pole then in a baby wading pool…mommies mommies everywhere…most of them laying in the sun tanning themselves and napping while their children ran amuck. Why did not anyone tell me about the mommy hang out when I had young ones…I needed naps….I need to tell Amy and Kendra about the Mommy hang out…poor girls they actually play with and watch their children… Finally at 3:00 Ty and Grandma were done at the water park…and home they go…where Grandma spends 25 minutes trying to fit the bike tip onto the air compressor to air up Grandson’s tires so she can take him home via bike ride (which is how they got to Grandma’s) after 25 minutes and several phone calls to Grandpa and numerous not nice words flying thru Grandma‘s mind she finally figures it out. Grandma FINALLY airs up the tires and then lubes his chain and off they go to end the first day of Camp Grandma.
Please note that the amount of sunscreen slathered upon my person was insufficient resulting in one very fierce sunburn. Which conveniently was the cause of my inablity to run fast or long this morning. I think my sports bra ripped the raw burnt flesh from my body which caused a great deal of pain, which resulted in my legs refusing to move. MY INABILITY TO RUN WAS NOT CAUSED BY MY BELLY FAT OR MY LACK OF SKILL IT WAS ALL THE SUNBURN AS IT WILL BE TOMORROW.
Day Two: French toast, bacon and milk to start the camper’s day! A little computer time and off to see “The Dark Knight” which was an AWESOME MOVIE…Then home to play two games of Splat of which Grandma won a game and Tyson won a game. The championship game will be held tomorrow…stay tuned to see the exciting results of the Splat Championship Game.
Upcoming Events for Camp Grandma: Monster Golf and Chuckie Cheese.
I am taking applications for those of you that would like to attend next year’s Camp Grandma.
Please note that the amount of sunscreen slathered upon my person was insufficient resulting in one very fierce sunburn. Which conveniently was the cause of my inablity to run fast or long this morning. I think my sports bra ripped the raw burnt flesh from my body which caused a great deal of pain, which resulted in my legs refusing to move. MY INABILITY TO RUN WAS NOT CAUSED BY MY BELLY FAT OR MY LACK OF SKILL IT WAS ALL THE SUNBURN AS IT WILL BE TOMORROW.
Day Two: French toast, bacon and milk to start the camper’s day! A little computer time and off to see “The Dark Knight” which was an AWESOME MOVIE…Then home to play two games of Splat of which Grandma won a game and Tyson won a game. The championship game will be held tomorrow…stay tuned to see the exciting results of the Splat Championship Game.
Upcoming Events for Camp Grandma: Monster Golf and Chuckie Cheese.
I am taking applications for those of you that would like to attend next year’s Camp Grandma.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Flat on My Back and Looking Up at the Sky AGAIN
My husband and my children for my birthday made this little chubby girls heart beat with delight...did they gift me with a GIANT BOX O'Cookies, Did they take me to an all you can eat buffet, Did they let me eat m&m's and reece cups till I threw up. NO! Though those are some pretty fine things....they got me a DIAMOND BACK HYBRID BIKE! As my friend said, "Diamonds are a girls best friend" I LOVE MY BIKE! I got to take it out on a long ride this saturday and had an amazing time...Ride Route was 28 miles. I had to ride 4.44 miles to get to the starting point and 4.44 miles to get to the napping point..so all in all about 37 miles of outright fun. My friend Kris and her husband a/k/a the Ultimate Male hosted a preride bike clinic for those of us who can't change tires and a post breakfast ride. However once again I found myself on the ground looking up at the sky as I hit gravel and fell (according to my friend, Jill, in slooooowwww motion) I had enough sense to slow the bike down but not enough sense to take me feet out of the clips so once again I was on my back looking up at the sky with my bike on top of me. (the previous fall happened in my back yard while I was complaining, trying to adjust my bike pack and trying to stay on my bike) The first fall I just got grass stain because I wasn't moving and I landed in the west grass). This fall was complete with gravel in my legs and arms, and BLOOD....whooooo hooo I am an official biker now.
Friday, July 11, 2008
I did it I did it I did it!
I ran 5 miles with just 4 little walk breaks...no knee brace...with a sore back...and my leg does not hurt today! I am happy...oh so happpy and to top off my happy mood...I am invited to go on a 20 mile ride tomorrow and get to borrow my friends road bike so I don't give myself a heartattack riding on my 69.00 Walmart...its icing on the cake I till you...oh and I haven't eaten any cake since July 4...one week and cake free as of today! This girl is happppppy!
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