I have a rubberchicken on a keychain and it hangs on my keychain rack. My son, James, looked at it and picked the scissors and said he was gonna cut the head off! What kind of sick demented person have I raised ? I warned him not to behead my rubber chicken and then he LAUGHED and decapitated my chicken and then he LAUGHED when the head flew across the room and struck me! Now I have a headless chicken hanging from my keychain rack... I keep it there to remind me that my son is owed one prank:
Past Family Pranks:
Daughter: Dumped hot sauce on brother's tongue when he was sleeping. Brother jumped up screaming "What the heck have you done to me" (language cleaned up for the public). He then ran to the kitchen sink to douse his mouth with water. He then chased after his sister who fled for her life.
Son: Tied bread pans underneath his sister's car. She starts driving hears the sounds pulls over sure that her transmission is falling out. She then calls and accuses me of doing it....like I am going to crawl under her car in the middle of the night to prank her. Told her not me but was I was impressed with the prank!
Sons: Yes plural, ganged up on Aunt Denise and Saran Wrapped her car shut with her big outdoor rocking chair saran wrapped on top....Aunt Denise has been the victim more then once....they also took a box of like 500 plastic forks and poked them in her yard...upside for the boys on this prank is that they also made their cousin suffer, because Aunt Denise made Amanda (her daughter) go out and pull them all up out of the yard.
Me: Rubberbanded the handle down on the sink house so when my husband got a drink of water he got doused.
Husband: I was laying on the bed which is right near the window. I was reading a book (when I read a book I am oblivious to all). He silently opened the window and poked me with a big stick and about gave me a heart attack.
Me and Mom: Painted G-Pa's Richard face with makeup while he was sleeping. Mom held my shirt so I could dangle over the top of G-Pa. It was hard to do because we were both laughing. I thought she was gonna drop me and I could not keep my hand steady from giggling.
I have such a demented family....One should never never fall asleep while there are family members about. We laugh and plot and plan. When Mom feel asleep in the car on the way home from an out of town trip we were taking pictures of her in her sleep mode...which ain't pretty...mouth open, snores emitting etc....We then decided we should just leave her somewhere on the side of the road or on someone's doorstep...like and unwanted litter of kittens...hahahaha The pictures were great and if Denise still had them on her camera I would post them on this blog...Lucky for Mom they have been long deleted.
Okay I am guess I am sufficiently awake to attempt 4 miles this morning. I gotta go tape and wrap and get dressed. It is COLD outside and what stinks is that I can't even wear a coat to start because within 1 mile I will be burning up. So the first mile I spend freezing my butt off. I think it is like 23 degrees. Brrrrrrr
Next week I am starting the inner peace class (yoga)...wanted to do an endurance class but it started last week and I was sick so I missed the first two classes so figure it is too late now. My husband wanted a stretching class anyway so this will be okay I guess.
Okay I have procrastinated yet another 10 minutes so now must put the coffee down and face the cold cold outdoors. This weather stinks...I will be griping about the weather again when it starts getting over 50. I hate cold but I hate heat with a passion!
Speaking of passion the coat I have been longing for was on clearance..finally..I love it! My son says I look like a woman of ill repute when I wear it. I LOVE COATS, JACKETS and BLAZERS almost as much as I love running shoes. I have a man's blazer that I wear and I love it! The girl at the office says I look like I am wearing an old man jacket. I told her it WAS an old man's jacket.
Okay NOW I am going out to run. Why oh why can't I be an effortlessly thin woman. Why must I work my butt off to be "average size"? Is it fair that I am not only not "hot'" but have the fat gene as well?? And as hard as I work I should totally look like Shania Twain! I guess I am more of the Minnie Pearl type girl...hey even Minnie Pearl is thinner then me...I have been gentically ripped off!!! Hmmm who should I thank for that...MOTHER!!!!!
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